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Where experience makes a difference - 11/11/2007 11:01:24 PM

Aimtoplease101

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You don't have to be very experienced to enjoy bdsm play-- a rank novice can still enjoy a very intense scene. However, there are definitely techniques that one perfects with time. For example, a new Domme might apply a clothespin to a sub's nipple in a way that grabs a lot of flesh, whereas a very experienced Domme will usually place the clip right on the tip of nipple. That milimeter or so makes a world of difference in the sensation induced.

What are some of the techniques that you feel you've dramatically improved (or to my brethren subs, have been improved upon you) with experience? What are some of the subtle differences that have a dramatic outcome?

Regards, ATP

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RE: Where experience makes a difference - 11/12/2007 9:19:19 AM

MisPandora

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aimtoplease101
For example, a new Domme might apply a clothespin to a sub's nipple in a way that grabs a lot of flesh, whereas a very experienced Domme will usually place the clip right on the tip of nipple. That milimeter or so makes a world of difference in the sensation induced.

Becoming a seasoned, experienced domina, I learned, was far different from becoming a seasoned, experienced paramedic. Perfecting skills in that realm meant that I did the exact skill consistently, each time, regardless of the body it was on, regardless of the circumstances or environment. I could be upside down in a ditch with mud up to my elbows, or in a perfectly calm bedroom of a 3rd floor walkup -- the IV, the intubation, everything I did, the skills are identical and they are perfection.

With domination, not only do you have the psychological aspects to factor in, most often imperfectly perceived even when you've been doing it XXXX years, but you also need to factor in the individuality of the subject each and every time they see you. You see, not every nipple works like you reference above. And not every time is the same for that person. Experience teaches you that. Experience teaches you that you first flesh out the bottom and learn what makes them respond the best. Experience then tells you where to place the clip, whether on the tip, or taking a bigger bite. Experience tells you that the person's emotional state right now makes that clip appropriate or inappropriate.

While rote skills are exceedingly important for play such as piercing, caning, whips and cutting, none of them are heralded as anything more than a clinical skill. They become an art of power exchange when in the hands of someone empowered and equipped mentally and spiritually to perform them.

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RE: Where experience makes a difference - 11/12/2007 1:51:20 PM

MystressDream

Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aimtoplease101

You don't have to be very experienced to enjoy bdsm play-- a rank novice can still enjoy a very intense scene. However, there are definitely techniques that one perfects with time. For example, a new Domme might apply a clothespin to a sub's nipple in a way that grabs a lot of flesh, whereas a very experienced Domme will usually place the clip right on the tip of nipple. That milimeter or so makes a world of difference in the sensation induced.

What are some of the techniques that you feel you've dramatically improved (or to my brethren subs, have been improved upon you) with experience? What are some of the subtle differences that have a dramatic outcome?

Regards, ATP

I will address the second part of this question. Techniques are learned over time.... some come naturally (like flogging), others take practice. The first time I realized I wanted to learn fireplay, for example, I asked a Dom I knew who was very good at it to show me how it is done. I then assisted him on several occasions before doing it by myself.

The second example of a technique that I took my time with was learning to use my singletails. I love them, and have become very good at using them, but, I practiced with them for over two years before I used them on a human. The ends of a singletail are traveling about 750 miles an hour when they impact the flesh. You better know damn well where they are going to land, and how hard.

So, I would say my singletails would be the biggest challenge I have taken on as far as technique goes.

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RE: Where experience makes a difference - 11/12/2007 6:10:45 PM

feralcat

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Technical stuff, well that I am always learning. Experience gives me more knowledge in general,more confidence in my abilities, and has given me more insight into an individual....a faster "read" of a person. Like MsPandora says,each individual can be different, what works for one may not work for another.

Now if we are talking about toys in general,I have been doing quite a bit of electricity and bondage,so my skills get better with each day.Practice ,practice ,practice!

More knowledge= greater creativity for me...so I can be a very evil woman!

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RE: Where experience makes a difference - 11/12/2007 10:29:59 PM

MasterFireMaam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aimtoplease101
What are some of the techniques that you feel you've dramatically improved (or to my brethren subs, have been improved upon you) with experience? What are some of the subtle differences that have a dramatic outcome?

Regards, ATP

Last question first: the shape of the cup of your hand and how long you have it in contact with the skin after the hit make a huge difference.

First question: my bare-handed play has improved dramatically. I can now leave hand-print bruises and often do.

Master Fire

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RE: Where experience makes a difference - 11/13/2007 2:37:14 AM

catleggs

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For me, the one most improved upon over time is 'verbal'. Often over looked for it's importance durring a session but a skill that, once mastered, can be the difference between a mind blowing session or one that's just play.
Sublte changes that make differences? I've learned that a well placed moment of silence will have a very dramatic impact.

Cat

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RE: Where experience makes a difference - 11/14/2007 5:48:13 AM

PrettyOHDomme

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Now, I don't consider myself experienced yet. However, I think my skills are improving.

I've especially noticed a difference in rhythm. Hmm...that's a tough one to explain. I mean the alternation and juxtaposition of different sensations to get a sub feeling exactly what I want.

Interesting thread.

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RE: Where experience makes a difference - 11/14/2007 8:17:26 AM

MsIncontrol

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Mostly experience has taught me I am far from knowing everything and there isn't just one way to do things. I learn new things all the time from different people in the community...different experiences and creative people bring new ideas to the table so I try and keep an open mind.

For me experience has only built confidence in my ability to do things and to know where to find information for things that I do not know. I can fluidly move through a scene or just in our day to day life without a hiccup but expanding my knowledge, my repitore and skills is something I am always seeking. Having confidence in what you are doing as a Dominant allows you to better hone your craft but I try to never be over-confident.

As Pandora stated, you can do the same thing to the same person on a different day and the reaction can be very different. Knowing that there is no "one true way" and being flexible is the best thing that experience has given me. I can't tell you the number of times I've seen an over-confident/over-eager Dom/me in a scene in crisis and not know what to do. "But it worked the last time I did this to XYZ". Or working with a submissive who swore up and down he didn't like something but turned out to love it with me..etc.

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RE: Where experience makes a difference - 11/14/2007 9:55:52 AM

AFlyInYourWeb

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quote:

ORIGINAL: catleggs

For me, the one most improved upon over time is 'verbal'. Often over looked for it's importance durring a session but a skill that, once mastered, can be the difference between a mind blowing session or one that's just play.
Sublte changes that make differences? I've learned that a well placed moment of silence will have a very dramatic impact.

Cat

I'll endorse Cat's observation about verbal and well-placed moments of silence.

From my experience, the psychological element is paramount. "Verbal Play" can be part of humiliation play, but it can also be used to build anticipation.

For me, nothing is quite as chilling as being bound and having a Domina whispering in my ear. Perhaps she may tell me what she plans to do next, or would like to do if she had the time or right tool handy, or some fantasy she has, or a fantasy she is trying to implant into my mind for future followup.

Especially when blindfolded, silence can be unsettling, fearsome and can build anticipation, depending on the Domina using it and the context in which it occurs.

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