I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? (Full Version)

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Titan1 -> I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? (11/12/2007 7:48:54 AM)

Dear Mistresses I have been on the site for several weeks. I believe my profile is acceptable, respectful and to the point. I see Lady's perusing the site quite often. I will apply to serve, but it seems that there is no interest. Though I have not posted my photo on the site, I do send one with my request. Is there something more I can do to attract a Mistress?  



LadyLynx -> RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? (11/12/2007 8:32:43 AM)

Are you against posting a pic? if not that would help.  Unfortunately since male subs are pretty common here, you have bit of a long wait.  (there are some people on here who have been looking for years.)  Some advice that may help you in your search: connect with your local community, go to as many events as your community offers. post here on the message boards as often as you can.  I have had countless people contact me because of something I posted.  bonus points if you display that you are polite,thoughtful and humorous.  lastly but certainly not least, have patience!



Titan1 -> RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? (11/12/2007 8:36:01 AM)

Dear LadyLynx:
Thank You for Your advise. 



MystressDream -> RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? (11/12/2007 8:51:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Titan1

Dear Mistresses I have been on the site for several weeks. I believe my profile is acceptable, respectful and to the point. I see Lady's perusing the site quite often. I will apply to serve, but it seems that there is no interest. Though I have not posted my photo on the site, I do send one with my request. Is there something more I can do to attract a Mistress?  


I am one who is looking for someone like you.  Unfortunately, I am in Colorado.  <smile>  I would not have noticed your profile because I have my filters set to only show profiles with pictures.  That could be one of the problems.  So, if I were you, I would take the advice LadyLynx gave you seriously.
 
Good luck out there, and be patient.  Some have been looking for years for that special connection. 



MisPandora -> RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? (11/12/2007 9:09:02 AM)

I too missed seeing you because of a lack of photo.  We're less than 100 miles away from one another.



stockingluvr54 -> RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? (11/12/2007 9:53:03 AM)

It may take awhile? 5+ yrs for me and not even a coffee date. Patience, patience, patience..... Try not to let your frustration show in your communications (which I've been guilty of lately).....

good luck



azropedntied -> RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? (11/12/2007 9:53:16 AM)

titan > this is more the view point on the submissive side and my experiances on collar me .I have been on this site for Years ,i do not search through endless profiles and mail them . i search and sometimes chat with  local s .Thats not to say i have not met some Great people  world wide through this site and met some of  them at events in which i travel to .I have tried several times to submit a picture  for a profile  and have been rejected so i gave up and if some request it after some kinda repore is established a picture can be sent .I wonder how many Female Tops spend the time to wade through all the sub/slave people and contact them?I think the best thing i ever did was STOP LOOKING  ,often the things we want come to us when we stop try'n so hard to attain them .Just because i have stopped looking and not making it a fulltime job does not mean i do not still wish to have a Mistress .I am envolved in the local community and get to as many events and parties and gatherings as i can with much better result .If and when A Domme shows intrest in me and something grows between us my search shall be over but i shall not sit online and wait or get bulked trashed in the masses .I know the desire to have one you may address as Mistress ,that said one maybe seeking you right down the street you just have to get offline once in a while and meet her locally go to a munch a party an event etc.I know many Dommes on here and they tell me about the  sheer #'s of mail the get  some great some creepy as one pointed out here the supply and demand factor 10 bazillion subs , slaves ,bottoms ,few Dommes that do not already have a stable or looking .After reading the postings on the message boards there are some Amazing  Dommes and people here be yourself and maybe one day that will be also said of you after people see who you are.
Best wishes upon your path and journey.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? (11/12/2007 11:19:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stockingluvr54

It may take awhile? 5+ yrs for me and not even a coffee date. Patience, patience, patience..... Try not to let your frustration show in your communications (which I've been guilty of lately).....

good luck



Well if you moved the hell away from BFE, who KNOWS what could happen! <G>

To the OP:  a picture really does speak a thousand words.  A nice picture of your smiling face. 



LaMistressa -> RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? (11/12/2007 11:51:54 AM)

Several weeks is a short time, beleive it or not. You would not have appeared in any of my searches because of the lack of a photo, so even if it's just a torso shot, post a picture. Also, if you are in northern NJ, get active in your local scene (I feel like I say that with every post) -- meeting people in person will open up a lot of doors for you. Good luck with your search! 



KaramelGoddess -> RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? (11/12/2007 2:08:03 PM)

I often take a peek at the profiles of people who have posted on the forums.  If you post more often that could get you a bit more attention.
 
All the previous advice works well too!
 
Edited to add:  I just got home from NJ too!! Dangit!!

 
~Kara



unravel -> RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? (11/12/2007 3:03:02 PM)

As azropedntied wrote, sometimes there is a virtue to stop looking to actually let things come to you.
Good luck to you! On the whole, keep in mind it is very much likely a better outcome if you wait much linger but find the "right fit" Dominant for you, rather than find one right away that is not a "good fit:)
unravel



ItalianSMistress -> RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? (11/12/2007 3:23:14 PM)

Are you reading the full profile of the Domme you are messaging?  I know that two things that turn Me off a message right away are
1. If it is clear from that message that they never bothered to read My profile
2. A long message that is obviously a copy and paste and sent to many Dommes
 
Just a suggestion for you



DiannaVesta -> RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? (11/12/2007 3:29:17 PM)

A photo will help plus it takes time. Hang in there.



thetammyjo -> RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? (11/12/2007 3:30:04 PM)

If you are only looking online I think your chances are very small.

Think of it this way.

Notice how difficult it can be for some people to find vanilla partners.
Now add in kinks.
Now add in compatible kinks plus compatible vanilla issues.

It's even more difficult for some people.

Get involved in the meatlife world of kink. Start learning and having fun. That will get you notice plus while you're learning and having fun you won't be thinking about finding a partner so the time passes more quickly.



youngsubgeoff -> RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? (11/12/2007 6:12:08 PM)

allright, other advice on here is good. also, try writing in your journal. What kind of music are you into? what gets you going? what do you do for fun?

Also, one very ironic thing Ive found: When you decide to stop looking, thats when things start to happen it seems. Less than 1 month after deciding I wasnt looking for someone, just going to stay involbed in the community, -bang- Im getting emails left and right.

So, basically, what Im saying is this: chill. Relax and have fun. 



DrkJourney -> RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? (11/12/2007 6:25:29 PM)

What everyone else said and also....when you email...do you write something personal just to them?, do you cut and paste?   Is it just a one liner?

Sometimes it's in your approach as well.  If someone sends me a one liner or obviously didn't read my profile I give them a polite no thank you and move on. 

You can have the best profile in the world and have the hottest pic, but if your approach is not good you won't get any where

Just my opinion of course  :>



LadyLegs -> RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? (11/12/2007 7:00:51 PM)

I agree you need to get out there & show your face real time.  I did email the name of a place in your area that you might like.



MistressDolly -> RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? (11/12/2007 7:13:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Titan1

Dear Mistresses I have been on the site for several weeks. I believe my profile is acceptable, respectful and to the point. I see Lady's perusing the site quite often. I will apply to serve, but it seems that there is no interest. Though I have not posted my photo on the site, I do send one with my request. Is there something more I can do to attract a Mistress?  


Definitly post a picture. :)



Oumae -> RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? (11/13/2007 5:01:15 AM)

Just want to reiterate about going to real life events.  I know here in Ireland we could do with more male subs in their 40's going to real life events,  wish a few of the regular posters here would move! [;)]

Good luck,

Oumae



stockingluvr54 -> RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? (11/13/2007 10:52:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus



Well if you moved the hell away from BFE, who KNOWS what could happen! <G>



Ahhhh LadyH.....  But I LOVE BFE....no shit! (waves from afar...isn't that how we did it?)... take care now!



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