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OK Am I a prude or what - 8/7/2005 6:01:05 PM

MHOO314

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It seems that lately the subs that have been responding get to the topic of cuckholding---please understand that I am not attacking or criticizing this practice---but its just not Me, I don't espouse it----can someone share with Me the preceived gains or benefits of control this brings to a relationship---again I am only asking for insight---the other issue is, what does one think of a sub who pushes that hard and heavy??

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RE: OK Am I a prude or what - 8/7/2005 7:11:07 PM

LadyJulieAnn

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I just saw this link in a previous thread on cuckolding:

http://www.adultcommunitiesonline.com/ourhotwives/cuckoldguide/index.html

Looks like it might explain it quite extensively.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 2

RE: OK Am I a prude or what - 8/7/2005 7:38:40 PM

MHOO314

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yes it seems to very well, thank you!

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RE: OK Am I a prude or what - 8/7/2005 8:35:20 PM

SadisticPrincess

Posts: 87
Joined: 7/4/2005
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Do you find that the subs who ask actually UNDERSTAND what cuckolding is??

I did a voyeur/cuckold scene with a slave once, and it was fun......but unless two of the parties are actually in a relationship, it's a rather pointless activity.

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Headmistress, Michigan Club Fem

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RE: OK Am I a prude or what - 8/7/2005 8:53:36 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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If I thought I could could do it (I don't think I can/want to), I mean to be able to love and respect two men enough in a relationship, it would be loads of fun if one of them were particularly fun to phuck, and the other one were particularly fun orally, to have the oral cleanup after the first could be massively fun for me, and humiliating to the cleaner (I would imagine).
As I don't seek a relationship with multiple partners, it's a slightly disturbing thought (but not so disturbing I could say it's the last thing I'd ever do). M

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RE: OK Am I a prude or what - 8/7/2005 9:19:25 PM

richbtch24

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Joined: 7/26/2005
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I must say that from a prospective dominant males point of view, I do not understand the idea. Personally, I could not see having 2 female submissives and forcing one to watch as I please the other. I guess I may not understand that aspect and never do I judge but I see this brining on issues of jealousy and possibly to much to handle. I like to give equal attention to my submissives unless they do something where they don't deserve it. On the other hand I have never had a problem letting one submissive watch another submissive receive punishment as this can sometimes be erotic for the viewer and also shows what is expected of them and the consequences if the rules are not followed.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

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RE: OK Am I a prude or what - 8/7/2005 9:28:25 PM

SadisticPrincess

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Cuckolding doesn't involve males using female subs, it means the female is shaming/exploiting her primary by having sex with someone else---not necessarily while he watches.

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RE: OK Am I a prude or what - 8/7/2005 9:58:12 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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I don't think this is a question of being a prude or not. I think it is nothing more than preferences. The people I know who partake of this kink usually don't have a loving relationship with the person brought in to cuck the male partner. It is a form of extreme humiliation. Having a relationship with the person takes it out of the realm of cuckolding and makes it polyamorous activity.

Any sub who pushes this activity on you after you point out you are not interested, is more interested in his fantasy of what he desires, rather than what you desire. I consider that type of person a fetishist or a fantasist rather than a submissive, since his boat is floated by just the one kink/fantasy, rather than by giving himself over for what you desire. My advice.. don't waste your time on this type of "submissive" no matter how promising they seem in other areas. In extensive experience, a sub with this type of fixation will keep coming back to it, even after you declare the matter off limits. Not worth the time or aggravation..

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*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
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(in reply to MHOO314)

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RE: OK Am I a prude or what - 8/7/2005 11:13:19 PM

SweetDommes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

It seems that lately the subs that have been responding get to the topic of cuckholding---please understand that I am not attacking or criticizing this practice---but its just not Me, I don't espouse it----can someone share with Me the preceived gains or benefits of control this brings to a relationship---again I am only asking for insight---the other issue is, what does one think of a sub who pushes that hard and heavy??

I don't think you are a prude at all - some people are into it, some are not. We are not.

As for a "sub" who pushes that hard - he needs to evaluate how submissive he really is ...

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 9

RE: OK Am I a prude or what - 8/8/2005 5:57:25 AM

FTopinMichigan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

I don't think this is a question of being a prude or not. I think it is nothing more than preferences. The people I know who partake of this kink usually don't have a loving relationship with the person brought in to cuck the male partner. It is a form of extreme humiliation. Having a relationship with the person takes it out of the realm of cuckolding and makes it polyamorous activity.

Any sub who pushes this activity on you after you point out you are not interested, is more interested in his fantasy of what he desires, rather than what you desire. I consider that type of person a fetishist or a fantasist rather than a submissive, since his boat is floated by just the one kink/fantasy, rather than by giving himself over for what you desire. My advice.. don't waste your time on this type of "submissive" no matter how promising they seem in other areas. In extensive experience, a sub with this type of fixation will keep coming back to it, even after you declare the matter off limits. Not worth the time or aggravation..

I truly enjoyed reading your take on this topic, BeachMystress. I feel the same.

Although I also sometimes consider myself a bit of a prude, I'm open to enjoying new things, but hold back to forcing activities that don't intrigue me (and my partner). I don't think it's fair to those involved in a relationship to do things that they are opposed to, only to satisfy a partner's interest. It may be good for a bit, but both (or all) will recognize that all are no longer enjoying the activity (or whatever it may be). Resentment, or full breakups occur from accepting things we knew from the start were not in our favor. I enjoy those that are upfront, and those that realize it's best to search for compatibility in fetish and BDSM interest, from the start. I don't think one can "learn" to love something they are completely opposed to from the beginning.

Sure, I've tried things that I've said I'd never try, but there are hard limits that I know about myself, and I'm not going to cheat myself by doing things I don't want to...cause it would cheat my partner too.

Also, having a partner put aside that part of themselves would not be fair to all also.

K

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 10

RE: OK Am I a prude or what - 8/8/2005 1:27:09 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
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From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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To me there is a difference between not enjoying an activity and it being a relationship destroying activity. I agree that relationship destroying activities should not be done in a relationship you wish to preserve. Other than something that will damage our relationship or my subhub physically, mentally or emotionally, if I like/want something and he doesn't.. I get my way. In my opinion, something he was truly opposed to would come under the heading of damage.

A lot of people are into things in fantasy that they'd not like in reality. I have this awesome fantasy of having a disintegrating ray mounted on the front of my car. I live near Los Angeles, and traffic can be a real pain. I could cut travel time in half with that silly ray. .. Great fantasy, but (if such a ray existed) bad reality.

When I met my husband, he had a cuckolding fantasy. He was fairly new to the scene and had limited relationship experience. He thought it sounded hot as hell. After we'd been dating about two months, I tied him up at a dungeon and let him watch me spank another man. On our way home, I asked him how he felt about it. He hemmed and hawed and tried to say things like it isn't a sub's place to like/dislike/judge what the Domme does. I told him I wanted to know HIS feelings on it, not some mouthed platitudes. He fessed up that he didn't like it. It made him jealous. I pointed out that cucking would be way worse than that, as he'd watch another man actually get to penetrate his woman. That ended that fantasy real quick!

There are some men (and women) who enjoy threesomes, foursomes and moresomes. Some of them just like to watch their partner with another person. Visit one of the swingers sites like swinglifestyle, and you'll see how many people love the idea. Personally, I'd remove my husband's testis for being with another woman. (I'm kind.. a friend of mine told her sub she'd remove the penis and leave the balls, so he could still have urges, just do nothing about them.)

Also, cucking can legitimize bisexual activity to some men. If their woman uses the man, then they get to lick his cum from her, they're not being bi; yet they got to eat cum. They got to stare at his penis, maybe even touch it. Lots of the cucks out there have the fantasy of preparing the man to enter the woman.. usually by sucking him hard. Turning it into being about the woman rather than about their own bi curious desires helps a lot of men resolve the cognitive dissonance surrounding their desire.

< Message edited by BeachMystress -- 8/8/2005 1:28:09 PM >

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*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
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(in reply to FTopinMichigan)

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RE: OK Am I a prude or what - 8/8/2005 1:34:09 PM

Lordandmaster

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Where on earth does the spelling "cuckholding" come from? I see it everywhere. People, it's CUCKOLDING.

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RE: OK Am I a prude or what - 8/8/2005 8:52:47 PM

Euryanx

Posts: 96
Joined: 6/27/2005
From: Los Angeles, CA
Status: offline

BeachMystress,

Great answers! You nailed my own feelings exactly.

Cuckolding is one of those fantasies that sounds erotic in fiction, but would be a turnoff in reality.
If someone is pushing for it, it would seem to be a symptom that there is something seriously
wrong in the relationship... that there is no real emotional bond. The relationship is strictly a
sexual fantasy.

As a sub, I put cuckolding in the same category as scat. I don't want to be shit on physically,
or emotionally.

I just don't see how it could be healthy for any relationship.

S.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 13

RE: OK Am I a prude or what - 8/8/2005 8:59:57 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
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Interesting link and interesting to Me that the word "hotwives" is included. Because there are actually two camps in cuckoldry at this point. One is the original sense of the definition, wherein the the Lady is making the choices, and the other is the "hotwife" camp, wherein the males are orchesterting the whole thing. I have found that, even though I don't list cuckoldry as an interest, it is brought up alot, and I get all sorts of offers up to and including offers to go out and find Me "bulls". And I smile when I see "Dom for cuckold Couples" listed on many Dom males profiles.
I think what Beach did was great! Although jealousy is sometimes a good fuel for a boy who is really is into cuckoldry, most of the time, it is a very big fantasy, and that was a great way to drive the point home.
As to the boys who want it, or think they want it, and constantly bring it up, I would put them into the "hotwife" camp. And I don't consider those boys to be very submissive. It's one thing to be willing to participate in cuckolding if that is what the Lady chooses. It's quite another when they harp on it.

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RE: OK Am I a prude or what - 8/9/2005 10:49:30 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
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As always, I get great advice from everyone, yes I have come to believe it is this fantasy, topping from the bottom if you will--I just dont see it in true subs--yet another way to get a sexual need fulfilled under the guise of "you can even do this to me" and none of " Mistress I want to learn how to please you, for that is where my joy is"--and I personally want to build a strong bond with My sub emotionally, cuckolding--is just not in My agenda---again My humblest thanks---

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SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

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Post #: 15

RE: OK Am I a prude or what - 8/9/2005 6:54:07 PM

DontBoreMe

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Joined: 8/9/2005
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Just trying this new SN, since I am now in awaiting approval coventry on the other one.......

Can anyone tell me how long it takes messages to be approved? Should I be bothering to post at all anymore?

Just wondering,

Francine

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Post #: 16

RE: OK Am I a prude or what - 8/10/2005 1:59:51 AM

onceburned

Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline

I am not sure why the posts under your other name are being moderated. But yes, sometimes it takes a long time for the messages to get approved. I see its been two days since you posted last in this thread and the message is still "Awaiting Approval". That would frustrate me.

I don't have any experience with cuckolding or people who are into it, but I would think it would be very hard psychologically to live in a relationship such as that.

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RE: OK Am I a prude or what - 8/10/2005 9:48:58 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
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Well here is My update--the sub continued to converse with all the great things he did, he wanted, his life, how he was adored and if I wanted to continue I had to put forth some effort (WTF?)- never asking My needs, all about how he needed to be controlled, cuckolded, placed in chastity, how he had to deem the Mistress worthy of him and his cock---I informed him, I am at a diffrent place in My life and our interests don't match--he emailed back with "fine--another fake"-----but the education here has been awesome as always--thank you all

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RE: OK Am I a prude or what - 8/10/2005 10:16:57 AM

SweetDommes

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Heh, don't you love that?

someday they will learn ... or they will be miserable for the rest of their lives, wondering why it is they can't get what they want.

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RE: OK Am I a prude or what - 8/10/2005 11:43:06 AM

MHOO314

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his response to that earlier was, I'll find it or I'll be alone, Im suggesting, he doesn't order his and Hers towels anytime soon.

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SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

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Post #: 20

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