RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money

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Najakcharmer -> RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money (12/4/2007 9:43:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: undergroundsea If you mean that women go pro because the behavior of some men you describe creates a demand or income opportunity, and some women choose to pursue this potential for income, fair enough. Correct, that's what I mean. There's a huge market out there because a lot of men who want to be bottoms don't have the skills to a) recognize that they're bottoms, not submissives or b) get someone actually interested in topping them. quote: If you mean that women go pro because they are disappointed by behavior of men and have no other choice, I disagree. I think the decision to go pro is a choice, not a necessity created by men. Naah, there's always choices. My choice is to ignore/block/delete guys who have nothing to offer me that I personally want. But a perfectly rational and reasonable choice would be to say, "If all you selfish, horny, annoying do-me bottoms can't give me whan I want in a D/s relationship, then you gotta give me SOMETHING, because it's a two way street....so pay to play." Going pro is a respectable choice, as long as the transactions are honest and up front from the get-go.

MistressKali1 -> RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money (12/4/2007 9:51:26 PM)
For some of Us, it is a matter of doing what We love. Taking a skill and a passion and turning it into a business. Enjoying how you make a living has great value beyond simple dollars. It brings satisfaction like no other "job" can do. If you have great skill and love working with computers or are a telented artist is it wrong to try and create a living out of that skill and passion? I think not. Call it prostitution if it makes you feel better, but if you feel the need to judge perhaps you should look inward first before you try and diminish others choice in life to make yourself feel better.

devotedslave78 -> RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money (12/4/2007 10:22:28 PM)
Does it matter why? Its not my cup of tea, so I simply do not consider them. Two different worlds - just like someone with a foot fetish would not approach a Domme that has that as her limit, a sub who wants the intimate one-on-one relationship would not approach a pro-domme. They are open about it, and even though I can't see the pleasure in it for them or for their customers, I have no beef with them. There are however the hidden pros that one can stumble upon though - and those are not OK in my book at all. Sure, there are the "always online" types which should be steered well clear of, and then there are the ones so blatantly fake it amazes me that they get any "customers", but occasionally one does stumble on a domme that tries to sucker you into it. That just irks the heck out of me. Ok, no more ranting for me. ;)

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money (12/5/2007 4:50:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: devotedslave78 Does it matter why? Its not my cup of tea, so I simply do not consider them. Two different worlds - just like someone with a foot fetish would not approach a Domme that has that as her limit, a sub who wants the intimate one-on-one relationship would not approach a pro-domme. Ah, if only it were true that males only approached those that actually have compatible interests.

rubberpet -> RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money (12/5/2007 10:23:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood quote: ORIGINAL: devotedslave78 Does it matter why? Its not my cup of tea, so I simply do not consider them. Two different worlds - just like someone with a foot fetish would not approach a Domme that has that as her limit, a sub who wants the intimate one-on-one relationship would not approach a pro-domme. Ah, if only it were true that males only approached those that actually have compatible interests. I agree completely. I don't like CBT, chastity, needles, or crossdressing and I'm not a masochist in the least...why on earth would I ever approach a domme who lives for those activities? Mistress is a gothic, rubber-obsessed vampire goddess who wants a complete D/s relationship and a monogamous, romantic relationship. That is why we are as solid as we are...we both want the same thing. Plus, She has never uttered a single word about tribute, money, or anything financial. So, if there are guys out there looking for a domme that doesn't expect money or tribute, they are out there...albeit, far and few between. Not all are looking to get paid, but quite a lot are, though. Just keep looking...you'll find a great domme.

petdave -> RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money (12/5/2007 9:24:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MisPandora Tell your brother sub/clients who have NO qualms about engaging the services of a professional domina for recreational/entertainment purposes to stop creating the vacuum in which the profession can survive. i've tried that, but you know... submissive men don't listen for shit. [sm=m23.gif]

ShaktiSama -> RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money (12/5/2007 9:40:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: petdave i've tried that, but you know... submissive men don't listen for shit. [sm=m23.gif] Indeed. We've heard rumors to that effect. [:D]

Najakcharmer -> RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money (12/5/2007 9:54:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rubberpet So, if there are guys out there looking for a domme that doesn't expect money or tribute, they are out there...albeit, far and few between. Here's a universal truth. There is nobody alive who is interested in giving a totally uncaring, inconsiderate, selfish stranger everything he or she wants while getting absolutely nothing they want in return. Mother Theresa died awhile back, for folks who hadn't heard. There are some subs/slaves whose kink it is to give unselfish service or to be used unilaterally by a dominant, and when they succeed in finding a relationship like that, what they get out of it is the fulfillment of that kink. Even these types still need (and expect) a certain amount of time and attention from the dominant in return for what they give. If that attention isn't forthcoming, they tend to disappear pretty quickly. There are plenty of dommes who don't want money - but like all other human beings, dommes do have wants, needs and desires of their own. Also like all other human beings, we do not exist just to spend all our time and energy giving free thrills to rude strangers who don't care. We have our own lives to live and our own desires to self-actualize, and no time for jerks demanding we perform for them without being willing to give anything of themselves in return, or even to be the least bit considerate of what we actually want and enjoy. Last I checked, kink was supposed to be fun for BOTH partners, not just the selfish do-me who doesn't care who does him. If you don't have the social skills to convince a domme that you're genuinely enjoyable to spend time with and that you're willing to spend some of your time and energy working to make HER happy and meeting HER needs, then guess what - you will need to do your share of the giving in another way. Relationships of all types are a two-way street, and they simply don't work if one party does all the selfish taking and none of the giving. That's true for both dommes and subs. The giving needs to go both ways, and both people in the relationship need to be getting something they want out of it, or it ain't happening. Money is concentrated time and energy. In some way, in some form, if you want to get from another human being, you will also have to give. There's an awful lot of "submissive" men (or more properly, bottoms who misrepresent as submissive) out there who are either unable or unwilling or who totally lack the social skills to give a non-pro domme what she wants in a D/s relationship. Ergo, huzzah for the professionals who fill that niche and keep the folks in this category from having to lie, cheat, mislead or otherwise annoy the hell out of the non professionals to get what they need.

petdave -> RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money (12/5/2007 10:04:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer Money is concentrated time and energy. In some way, in some form, if you want to get from another human being, you will also have to give. There's an awful lot of "submissive" men (or more properly, bottoms who misrepresent as submissive) out there who are either unable or unwilling or who totally lack the social skills to give a non-pro domme what she wants in a D/s relationship. Ergo, huzzah for the professionals who fill that niche and keep the folks in this category from having to lie, cheat, mislead or otherwise annoy the hell out of the non professionals to get what they need. i object to lumping a lack of social skills in with lying and cheating. Strongly. This is a very rare dynamic where being damaged/maladapted is held in equal disdain to those who deliberately "break the system", and i believe it has become so primarily due to the statistics. Perhaps at the top of the heap that's something to cheer, but i would argue otherwise. There's always a bigger heap out there [&:]

Najakcharmer -> RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money (12/5/2007 10:23:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: petdave i object to lumping a lack of social skills in with lying and cheating. Strongly. This is a very rare dynamic where being damaged/maladapted is held in equal disdain to those who deliberately "break the system", and i believe it has become so primarily due to the statistics. It's quantitative, not qualitative. It isn't fair that someone with a lack of appropriate social skills due to Asperger's Syndrome is going to have as difficult a time impressing a domme as someone who is simply unwilling to be honest and/or respectful of another person's needs. But you know, life isn't fair, and the end result of the inability to make another human being really happy to be in a relationship with you is going to be the same regardless of the underlying reasons. I certainly don't disdain people with poor social skills as a consequence of something like Asperger's. I have a mild to moderate case of it myself that makes non-technical communication somewhat difficult for me. But I also can't be a permanent babysitter for another person, regardless of the reason for their lack of social competence or their lack of ability to meet my needs. Like everyone else on the planet, I really have to assess my personal relationship choices based on whether it actually meets my needs and makes me happy, not on whether it's "fair" in an abstract sense.

LadyLegs -> RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money (12/5/2007 10:36:15 PM)
LOL... so how about we do the the domination for fun & just charge you to release you from bondage? Willing to pay for that?

petdave -> RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money (12/6/2007 5:51:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer It's quantitative, not qualitative. It isn't fair that someone with a lack of appropriate social skills due to Asperger's Syndrome is going to have as difficult a time impressing a domme as someone who is simply unwilling to be honest and/or respectful of another person's needs. But you know, life isn't fair, and the end result of the inability to make another human being really happy to be in a relationship with you is going to be the same regardless of the underlying reasons. I certainly don't disdain people with poor social skills as a consequence of something like Asperger's. I have a mild to moderate case of it myself that makes non-technical communication somewhat difficult for me. But I also can't be a permanent babysitter for another person, regardless of the reason for their lack of social competence or their lack of ability to meet my needs. Like everyone else on the planet, I really have to assess my personal relationship choices based on whether it actually meets my needs and makes me happy, not on whether it's "fair" in an abstract sense. i'm not arguing that life is fair, or that the individual doesn't have the right to reject another individual as a partner for being shy, pale, chubby, short, malodorous, dull-witted, or whimsical in the brainpan. However, the impression i got from your previous post was that people with antisocial tendencies (bullshitters) more or less deserve to get their physical affection by the hour, and should be glad of it. i don't think that others with sincere intent should fall into that same category just for being less than perfect.

rubberpet -> RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money (12/6/2007 6:04:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyLegs LOL... so how about we do the the domination for fun & just charge you to release you from bondage? Willing to pay for that? LadyLegs, I agree 100% with you there! I hope Mistress reads this and decides to not only to charge me for my release from bondage, but loads on interest, too! [:D] As for the above discussion, there are always going to be the ones looking just to get paid. There are some pro-dommes that are real business women who do it because they provide a service they are very skilled and knowledgeable about. They understand the dynamics of BDSM and they understand what goes on in a subbie's mind. They do it for money, but it's something both people enjoy. The ones who are just bimbos with whips looking for "financial" slaves are the ones who give true dommes a bad name. I love to pamper Mistress with gifts and little tokens, but it's not a requirement of my service. I do it because I love Her and even though She is my mistress, She is also my girlfriend and this guy likes to spoil Her out of love, not because I have to provide tribute. But there are guys that don't really know the true beauty of BDSM. For those, it's all about them and what they want. It's a two-way street and both parties need to get something out of it. Those jerk-offs are the ones that give submissives a bad name. Their outlook on BDSM is so distorted that they can't get off the thought the BDSM is just about kinky sex. So no matter what anyone else says, Najekcharmer, I agree with you on your views.

Grlwithboy -> RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money (12/6/2007 8:51:10 AM)
quote: The ones who are just bimbos with whips looking for "financial" slaves are the ones who give true dommes a bad name. quote: ORIGINAL: rubberpet No - the men who willfully don't take the time and energy to see the difference between a kraft cheese sandwich and a five star restaurant are to blame. And who go around screaming that all five star restaurants serve up kraft cheese, because they don't want to pay for their food. You can pay for it, or grow your own. One takes time patience, humility, knowledge, skill, and a little love. The other takes some money and for God's sake don't be a stupid dupe with it, be a good consumer.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money (12/6/2007 9:22:11 AM)
I miss being a pro dominant. Well, I miss the Good Parts: choosing costumes, coming up with scenes that are different every time but still fit the theme, meeting new people, connecting with regular clients that are easy to get along with, having all sorts of no-strings fun. I do not miss the high overhead, the endless sifting of wankers (ENDLESS), having to play with fetishes that I don't like all that much just because the market demands it... Altogether, if I could do it again, knowing that I was safe from prosecution, I would. Oh, the money? Yes, that was nice, after I paid my share of the bills, etc, there was money. But I still have that. I miss the fun and personal satisfaction.

MistressUltimate -> RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money (12/6/2007 9:29:42 AM)
Hi everyone X, As a professional domme, Id like to answer this from my viewpoint, using some content from my previous posts on IC etc. I went pro because I was getting so many requests from people who have seen me out and about in the scene, or playing at clubs over the last six years and who have asked me for sessions online. So many asked me if they could come to my home or contact me online to 'serve me', that I thought wot the heck..I dont know three quarters of these people who tell me they want THIS and at THAT time and on THAT date..I will go pro and see what happens. Well, forget the stories of loadsamoney lol.... That only happens to the fortunate few. I spent a lot of money converting my large cellar, added to my already huge selection of toys and props and paid to have a site designed and now have a very modest business that I totally adore doing, plus pays for my outfits, my scene activities and gives me a little spending money over. I totally agree with grlwithboy. People who part with a lot of cash should be very selective in whom they give it to and there are so many pro dommes around who have jumped on the bandwaggon of what they see as easy money, without having the skill or even the will to give anything back. Clients who have the bad luck to get one of these ladies sometimes justifiably come away feeling that all pros are the same. I am a professional and yes, people pay me for my services, just as they pay a solicitor, hairdresser, accountant, fuel services, nights at the pub, etc. They have a free choice in how they spend their cash and what they spend it on and I honestly think that they should take some responsibility for checking the domme out before parting with any of it. Most pros will provide names of people who are willing to give references as to their skill and safety and those who are unable or unwilling to do this should be treated with suspicion. TALK to the lady..ask questions. Does she know what shes talking about? Having a fancy website, lots of expensive equipment and big breasts isnt a guarantee that they have a clue wot they are doing, so come on guys..be smart! Clients approach me. I do not drag them kicking and screaming off the streets ( much as some would enjoy it) and force them to submit to me. Many clients have a happy marriage and are loving fathers and husbands, who have a very very real need to submit, but are married to partners who do not feel that same need. Is it not better to visit me for a none sexual, none committed session than to seek another partner and maybe break up a happy marriage? All my clients seek none commitment enjoyable submission in a safe environment and are willing to pay for it as a service that they can then say goodbye to and walk away from. They are aware that, if they wished, they could go to a public fetish BDSM club and play for free. They are not stupid. I have a LOT of experience, can give loads of references from people who know me and who see me in the scene and I play on an almost daily basis, both professionally and also at clubs and with personal slaves. I am SAFE and I am SANE. I am not some amateur setting up as a pro and damaging peoples bodies, minds and pockets, because thats what the fake pros do and the only word to describe that is thieving. Those who are seeking a professional, be it a pro domme or any other service, PLEASE be selective and careful before you part with your hard earned cash...take some responsibility and dont be conned by the bimbos who go out and buy a crop. Thankyou all who have taken the time to read my post ..much appreciated. Take care and stay safe, Emma Forde.

YesMistressIrish -> RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money (12/6/2007 9:48:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha Why is it that some subs have no problems meeting partners and/or finding vanilla women who are open to kink or willing to give it a try - and then there are subs who say they have searched high and low and cannot find anyone to even give them a second look except pros? Pretty much because they're assholes and don't care anything at all about the woman they want to use as an object for their fetish satisfaction. The person behind the tits and the whip doesn't matter to them as long as they get what they want. And they're just not mature enough or smart enough to realize that their attitude is a huge turnoff and makes them nothing but an annoying, selfish, bothersome pain in the ass who is No Fun to play with. Any submissive man who is open, honest, friendly, intelligent, articulate and genuinely interested in spending enjoyable (and NOT necessarily kinky or sexual) time of mutual interest with a real human being he wants to submit to will find partners very, very easily. Anyone who is just looking for instant kinky or sexual gratification and doesn't care about the person he gets it with as long as she looks hot and does what he wants needs to pay a pro, because he simply isn't going to interest most non pro dommes. najakcharmer, damn, I do love so many of your posts! [:D]

MistressUltimate -> RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money (12/6/2007 9:48:44 AM)
Would just like to add to my previous blog....I spend hours every day wading through totally cretinous emails and trying to suss out the genuinely interested, plus more hours replying and chatting to people who will continue to send (wanking material) emails as long as Im daft enough to carry on replying to them. These sad sad blokes string you along until you say RIGHT NO MORE! Pay your deposit..they then say 'Oh yes Mistress. Il do that right away' and guess wot??? Yes youre correct. You never hear a peep from them again..so my point is..We really really earn our money and its not just 'easy cash' Errrrrrr Just thought Id have a vent..sowwy.

YesMistressIrish -> RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money (12/6/2007 9:55:22 AM)
Najekcharmer said: 'Money is concentrated time and energy. In some way, in some form, if you want to get from another human being, you will also have to give. There's an awful lot of "submissive" men (or more properly, bottoms who misrepresent as submissive) out there who are either unable or unwilling or who totally lack the social skills to give a non-pro domme what she wants in a D/s relationship. Ergo, huzzah for the professionals who fill that niche and keep the folks in this category from having to lie, cheat, mislead or otherwise annoy the hell out of the non professionals to get what they need. ' [sm=applause.gif]

mnottertail -> RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money (12/6/2007 10:00:21 AM)
I would assume that dominating for money is more profitable (and vastly more satisfying) than dominating for chocolate covered cockroaches--------- Is there anything resembling a question of import here? Ron(ne) besides which, to earn the appellation of 'Pro' the Olympic standards commitee does not consider chocolate covered cockroaches 'coin of the realm'.

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