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RE: Can Y/you Develop a Fetish on Command? - 11/13/2007 5:57:57 AM   
Driver1961


Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		He dips to all;

having a hardon for chainsaws.  Yep, now we're talking!  A gurly with a 3ft chain bar flogging through a huge log.   It makes me want to cross my legs and admire such a gutsy bitch!

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RE: Can Y/you Develop a Fetish on Command? - 11/13/2007 7:57:42 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		fetish is something that is hard wired not like something we can give up I do not understand why people think they can go pop and they like it or do not like it.. how stupid is that. kinda like instant gratification . We are not computers we are more complex. The sooner the drive by posters or fashion nazis learn that point the more of us will live in peace. YOu can not change what has been proven to be different from what science says it is. So get over it deal with it move on 

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RE: Can Y/you Develop a Fetish on Command? - 11/13/2007 9:05:51 AM   
ownedgirlie


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Interesting and absolute answers here.  I don't know that I can call these desires of mine fetishes so maybe that's where I'm going south with this thread.  All I know is there are a few things I either never enjoyed doing or had a huge "ick" factor about, and the very first time he had me do them - whamo - I loved them, instantly.  But only because they were for him. 

Take feet, for example.  Sorry guys, but I tend to hate mens feet.  Ever since I can remember, I have had an
"ick" factor with men's feet.  As in, it bothered me to look at them.  I really don't know why, it just was.  I told my Master this.  In our very first meeting, in which I was coming to offer myself to him (so no, it wasn't a coffee shop meeting), one of the first things he did was have me remove his shoes and socks and suck his toes.  My eyes flew open, my heart raced, my lips trembled.......and I did it, and loved it because they were his feet.  From that point on, I loved his feet.  I loved massaging them, kissing them, licking them, sucking them, laying at them, worshipping them, you name it.  This, from the girl who had man-feet-phobia.

I still don't really like other men's feet (but I'm not afraid of them anymore lol), just his.

So maybe I just have a Master fetish

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RE: Can Y/you Develop a Fetish on Command? - 11/13/2007 9:30:33 AM   
FRSguy


Posts: 653
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Status: offline 		Develop a fetish on command?  No way! (depending on how you define a fetish)There are two different definitions of fetish that I have seen.  The first is something you really really adore and gets you all hot like knowing a good flogging is coming up and anticipating it.  The other is a more clinical definition that is more like a aphelia where the only way someone can actually orgasm and enjoy sex is with stimulation involving the fetish which is a huge difference in definitions.  In one instance the person is really horny over getting flogged and in the other instance the person cant get off without being flogged.  One can masturbate to orgasm just fine… the other cant masturbate to orgasm unless getting flogged…. Huge difference.  You could develop a strong association to something and perhaps even train someone into a true fetish however you would be for the most part destroying that persons sexuality. 

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RE: Can Y/you Develop a Fetish on Command? - 11/13/2007 9:42:06 AM   
Tigrita


Posts: 484
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From: California
Status: offline 		As people have mentioned, the academic definition of fetish is more strict than the way the term is typically used.  I'm going to comment with regard to a loser definition of fetish as a keen BDSM related interest.  I totally identify with whoever described it as a seed, that is exactly how I've described it.  So many things I was averse to at first just take a seed, a little encouragement, and things I would have been totally terified by are now things I crave.  Feeling how much enjoyment he gets out of them just makes me crave them like nobody's business.


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RE: Can Y/you Develop a Fetish on Command? - 11/13/2007 10:17:37 AM   
Prinsexx


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

no you can not develope a fetish on command.  Fetish addictions are in childhood. they have links to childhood it is why a lot of us can not give things up


except ofcourse 'the-fetish-on-command' fetish......also potentiated during childhood...
Latexbabes I am serious here.....
I suffered two years of near privation between 5 and 7 and anything, I mean almost any stimulation fron an obeject became fetishised......long story though........

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 11/13/2007 10:18:33 AM >

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RE: Can Y/you Develop a Fetish on Command? - 11/13/2007 10:37:45 AM   
fairerthanshe


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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub

This thread isn't about accepting O/other P/pl's fetishes -- instead it asks if it's possible to 'develop' a fetish on command.
 
Second question:  A/anyone know where fetishes come from?  All of mine seem to have been around since early adolescence or even younger.
 
pinksugarsub


Greetings pink,

We do a lot of hypnosis work.  I wouldn't call the directives he has instilled in me "fetishes" since to me that is something that comes from within.  You can be trained or have your thinking transformed to react to something in a particular manner through hypnosis.  He does this with me all the time.  It is a wonderful way to break through barriers, as well.

well wishes ~ fairer than she


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RE: Can Y/you Develop a Fetish on Command? - 11/13/2007 12:28:33 PM   
charlotte12


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie



So maybe I just have a Master fetish


Such a wonderful way to put it.

Along those same lines i have have grown to love things that the person i want to please loves. I wouldn't call them fetishes because something i've enjoyed with one person i may not enjoy with the next but the right person can make me crave things i used to find....gross.

charlotte (who loves kissing her Master's feet...even after removing the socks he'd been wearing for three days!)

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RE: Can Y/you Develop a Fetish on Command? - 11/13/2007 12:44:07 PM   
MisPandora


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain

To take the other side, for the hell of it, you could teach someone to love flogging with a single session. In other words, you flog her and she spaces perfectly and is hooked for ever more. Don't ya think?

You missed the point.  FLOGGING isn't something that would necessarily be derived as a fetish by puritanical definition.  Flogging has been accepted by our culture in the BDSM world, so much so that it's not necessarily something that one would consider 'a fetish' -- it's moreso as a widely accepted desire, often with a sexual connotation.  The flogger isn't an inanimate object in the hands of a top either.

Through operant conditioning (think Pavlov's Dogs) you can mold someone's behaviors and actions to reward them for doing a behavior or receiving a sensation.  That's conditioning someone to enjoy a sensation, or to connect even the not pleasurable sensations with something else that IS stimulating in a pleasurable way until the two connect and division is imperceptible.  The pleasurable can be removed, leaving the once not pleasurable sensation, and the recipient's mind only perceives the pleasurable.

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RE: Can Y/you Develop a Fetish on Command? - 11/13/2007 1:02:39 PM   
MsBearlee


Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline 		Well, I have never been so commanded...but I will say that from the very first time a male sub displayed a fethsi for my feet, I just may have developed my own...on the spot.
 
OMG...he rubbed them, sniffed at them, and rubbed his face on them.  He sucked my toes, licked my feet and sniffed at them some more.  He held my feet to his chest while I pinched his nipples with my toes, he moved them to his lap and rubbed his body against them, he masturbated upon my feet and licked them clean again when he was finished.  I thought I was gonna die from the pleasure.
 
Oh yeah... I've got a fetish for a boy who loves feet; does that count?
B

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RE: Can Y/you Develop a Fetish on Command? - 11/13/2007 1:04:59 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		You can "program" someone to have a parapillia, no problem. All it takes is some Pavlovian style training, and lots and lots of reinforcement. But, if you don't keep that reinforcement going, the subject will eventually revert to their former behavior.

A fetish is something that runs deeper than simple behavioral programming. They are imprints left over from early formative years, that are difficult, if not impossible to change or erase. CalifChick is right on the money with her comment. A fetish is something that HAS to be present in order for sexual arousal to occur, and satisfaction to be attained. It's an object or action that has somehow taken the place of the stimuli that mainstream folk take for granted. Instead of being turned on by their partner, their perfume, their voice, their touch... a fetishist will only be turned on by their partner if they are blonde, or if they are in high heel stillettoes, or if they are dressed in rubber (for example). Otherwise, it's a "no go."

I've found that when most people in the BDSM lifestyle talk about their "fetishes" they are really talking about their "phillias." But I guess it's a mix up of terms that saves them keystrokes or something.

So, no, you can't command someone to have a fetish. No more than you could command them to grow their hair color differently, or to be left- instead of right- handed. Anyone who thinks that you can must be living in some fantasy world!


< Message edited by bipolarber -- 11/13/2007 1:07:24 PM >

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RE: Can Y/you Develop a Fetish on Command? - 11/13/2007 3:52:28 PM   
AFlyInYourWeb


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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub

This thread asks if it's possible to 'develop' a fetish on command.
 
Second question:  A/anyone know where fetishes come from?  All of mine seem to have been around since early adolescence or even younger.
 


I agree that almost anyone can be trained to respond to classic behavior-mod techniques. I would agree the "associated reward" the Dominant uses would have to be repeated with each use. 

It still would not be a fetish for the sub.  As I see a fetish, it is already within the sub, perhaps looking to be "uncovered" or triggered by some incident.

Simple example:

You can "train" a submissive male to accept, even enjoy, wearing panties, if he associates it with a reward, such as being allowed to masturbate to ejaculation.  That's not a fetish.  That is conditioned response.

When the Domina wordlessly holds up a pair of panties, and the sub says "Thank you, Mistress", now, that's a fetish.

Where do these fetishes come from within me?  I've wrestled with that one, on and off, for more than 30 years.  I don't believe I'll ever have more than theories.  Does it really matter?  It is what it is.

However, like you, I've had them in daydreams dating back to puberty.

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RE: Can Y/you Develop a Fetish on Command? - 11/13/2007 5:06:00 PM   
Tigrita


Posts: 484
Joined: 8/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		 

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsBearlee
Well, I have never been so commanded...but I will say that from the very first time a male sub displayed a fethsi for my feet, I just may have developed my own...on the spot.
 
OMG...he rubbed them, sniffed at them, and rubbed his face on them.  He sucked my toes, licked my feet and sniffed at them some more.  He held my feet to his chest while I pinched his nipples with my toes, he moved them to his lap and rubbed his body against them, he masturbated upon my feet and licked them clean again when he was finished.  I thought I was gonna die from the pleasure.
 
Oh yeah... I've got a fetish for a boy who loves feet; does that count?
B


This is such an interesting point to me!  See, I'm in the wrong position for that fetish, but I have it anyway!  I only like dominant men, but my ex, a very dominant man had a foot fetish!  He wouldn't worship them the way you described, but he loved to rub them for me and he'd look at them when he was cumming.  I've always thought my feet were totally sexy and is was nice to have someone who enjoyed them that way.  But it seems that foot fetishes seem to be stronger ammong submissive men, because of the status thing of foot worship I suppose.  If I ever go pro domme I will definitely enforce foot worship!!!

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There is no right path, only the path you take.

Success is making life happen, versus just letting life happen to you.

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RE: Can Y/you Develop a Fetish on Command? - 11/13/2007 6:48:41 PM   
kyraofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Driver1961
having a hardon for chainsaws.  Yep, now we're talking!  A gurly with a 3ft chain bar flogging through a huge log.   It makes me want to cross my legs and admire such a gutsy bitch!


*g*  I would have to agree, very gutsy bitch.  I admire her strength and hope she is doing well.

Knight's Kyra

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RE: Can Y/you Develop a Fetish on Command? - 11/14/2007 2:53:10 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
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From: Georgia
Status: offline 		I don’t want to bore you all to death on this, but it is once again definitions I suppose. If we are to dump our dustbin and get back to what a fetish is, I do think in our hormone infested waters, we quickly attach sexual meanings to things such as flogging which a submissive can learn to love in one session to the point where she will try to spank herself with wooden spoons and so on later and maintain an overwhelming desire to do again. Is this a fetish?

I once knew someone who wanted me to shave her head and put whipped cream and a cherry on top of it. I would call that a fetish and probably something she learned in one episode. I mean how the hell else could she have fantasized about such a thing without it really happening?

I do know at least one submissive who calls being flogged her fetish. Whether she is right or not is beyond me, but I’m willing to furnish her that sensation whatever it is.  

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RE: Can Y/you Develop a Fetish on Command? - 11/14/2007 7:53:14 AM   
Leonardo


Posts: 113
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Status: offline 		Fetishes are considered to be behaviorally imbedded obsessions, generally related to sexual gratification, whether controlled or not. Being learned behavioral characteristics rather than instinctual, they generally develop over a period of time, however, there may be some fetishes which appear to become instilled immediately at initial experience, though Freudian philosophy would generally claim that even though it may appear to sometimes become instilled upon initial exposure, there would be some underlying factors from childhood which would then surface at time of exposure.

Some may feel that a fetish could be created in someone through hypnosis and NLP; however, hypnosis and NLP only works if the subject of such is willing, and has a predisposition to accepting hypnotic suggestions. So, the question then begs... Is the predisposition, ergo, embedded through surrounding environmental influences from past experiences which may or may not be consciously recollected?

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RE: Can Y/you Develop a Fetish on Command? - 11/14/2007 1:05:38 PM   
littlelam


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/11/2007
Status: offline 		At the ripe old age of 21, I met my second father - I never knew I wanted a Daddy until I met him. Not too long ago, I thought Daddy/Daughter play was disgusting and abominable (conjures up turn-off images of a white-haired, white beard old man putting me over his lap or making me wear cotton nighties or being talked baby talk). I also shrieked if a lover as much as lay a finger on my asshole ("Where the heck do you think your going, fucktard?") Daddy has changed all that. I would do anything for him. I guess the question depends on how much you love the person, how far you are willing to submit to make him happy. The key word is "develop" - any fetish can be developed if a submissive's desire to please is paramount - for the right person one trusts and loves and adores.

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RE: Can Y/you Develop a Fetish on Command? - 11/14/2007 1:07:15 PM   
mnottertail


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Status: offline 		All my slaves have had a cocksucking fetish, I have commanded it, and often.

Ron 

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