RE: What are the odds of finding love?

RE: What are the odds of finding love? (Full Version)

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bruisednbitten -> RE: What are the odds of finding love? (11/13/2007 9:59:13 PM)
how very doom and gloom many are here! i'm not so naive as to think that i'll magically find love and it'll be so cut and dry and perfect as all of that. but i still feel that there's no real need to expect anything specific. i consider myself a switch of sorts - i spent many years as a pro-domme and found that it numbed me to the attraction for a sub - i much more enjoy being dominated but can't fully let go. and i'm currently looking for deep like more than anything else - that seems a more probable find.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: What are the odds of finding love? (11/13/2007 10:07:06 PM)
Never give up on finding love. The harder you look for it the less likely you'll find it there though. Being a switch doesnt help or hinder your chances, since anyone you fall for and who falls for you will be OK with your switching along with everything else about you. Be patient, of course. Anything worth finding is worth waiting for. I found what I wanted as soon as I stopped actually LOOKING for it. DV

AMaster -> RE: What are the odds of finding love? (11/13/2007 10:13:05 PM)
There MIGHT be a small chance.

Ecossaise -> RE: What are the odds of finding love? (11/13/2007 10:54:38 PM)
I had something wise and profound to say, but when I stopped to analyse it, it simply came out as... love ups and slaps you in the butt when you aren't expecting it! Nice surprise, you'll agree. ;)

MissMagnolia -> RE: What are the odds of finding love? (11/13/2007 10:57:44 PM)
Don't look. That's when it happens.

SunNMoon -> RE: What are the odds of finding love? (11/14/2007 6:10:42 AM)
Just be open and don't give up. One of my best friends is getting married to someone she met off of match.com

hardbodysub -> RE: What are the odds of finding love? (11/14/2007 7:58:46 AM)
The odds are 237,453.6 to 1.

MystressDream -> RE: What are the odds of finding love? (11/14/2007 9:54:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hardbodysub The odds are 237,453.6 to 1. *This is especially true when we limit the scope of our search all the way down to body shape, appearance, tight age limits... etc.* I have seen profiles on here that go as far as "I can only submit to an extremely attractive young woman, 25-30 years old, over 5' 8" tall, perfect weight for height, with red hair. She must be single, with no children, employed, and have a private dungeon to play in, but NOT a pro. I won't pay for it." *<grin> I wish them luck with that.*

AFlyInYourWeb -> RE: What are the odds of finding love? (11/14/2007 10:08:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: deadscout It seems as a switch, I occupy a relativly rare place. It seems far removed from what is considered the average male, especially when you consider how many people are not into BDSM much less a switch. I'm wondering what the odds are of finding love or if I should just give up on it. IMHO, love is not something that can be "sought". All we can do is prepare ourselves mentally and emotionally for the time when the opportunity arrives...usually unexpectedly, and often from the last place on earth we thought it would come.

laurell3 -> RE: What are the odds of finding love? (11/14/2007 10:47:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: deadscout It seems as a switch, I occupy a relativly rare place. It seems far removed from what is considered the average male, especially when you consider how many people are not into BDSM much less a switch. I'm wondering what the odds are of finding love or if I should just give up on it. Be true to you first, be patient, be honest. Switches are frowned upon by quite a few, that doesn't change the fact that you are who you are, don't let it stop you from seeking what it is that you need. Good luck!

canupleaseme -> RE: What are the odds of finding love? (11/14/2007 11:02:18 AM)
I dont think being a switch has anything to do with it. Its hard to find love whatever the cirumstances. And as much as I hate to agree with my mother it certainly does seem to find you when your not looking so hard. That was certainly true for me and looking back I thikn because I wasnt looking I didnt open myself up for loads of disapointment by thinking I had found it with the wrong people. Be yourself enjoy yourself do whatever it is that makes you happy and sooner or later the person you will love will find you where you least expect it.[:)] Of course this advice doesnt help at all when its all you really want and have been searching for but in my experience its how it works.

YesMistressIrish -> RE: What are the odds of finding love? (11/14/2007 11:17:41 AM)
*Finding Love? "Love is all around Us"* *I create it, feel it, exchange it, flow with it, and do not seek it specifically.* **If you put your focus on enjoying good people that you connect with and remain open, and not jaded* as someone else said, you just might bump into what you seek.* There are plenty of interesting, wonderful people out there. When I let go and enjoy: Love is all around me. So is all the other crap, but that's a different thread... [:D] Irish**

laurell3 -> RE: What are the odds of finding love? (11/14/2007 11:52:17 AM)
heh nevermind. good luck again OP.

unravel -> RE: What are the odds of finding love? (11/14/2007 2:09:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MystressDream quote: ORIGINAL: hardbodysub The odds are 237,453.6 to 1. *This is especially true when we limit the scope of our search all the way down to body shape, appearance, tight age limits... etc.* I have seen profiles on here that go as far as "I can only submit to an extremely attractive young woman, 25-30 years old, over 5' 8" tall, perfect weight for height, with red hair. She must be single, with no children, employed, and have a private dungeon to play in, but NOT a pro. I won't pay for it." *<grin> I wish them luck with that.* lol this has to be one of the funniest profiles i read to date! unravel

MistressDolly -> RE: What are the odds of finding love? (11/14/2007 2:47:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: deadscout It seems as a switch, I occupy a relativly rare place. It seems far removed from what is considered the average male, especially when you consider how many people are not into BDSM much less a switch. I'm wondering what the odds are of finding love or if I should just give up on it. Focus less on what you don't have and more on what you do have. Concentrate on working and improving you, e.g., reading, working out, charity, etc... whatever. Someone is bound to come along and take notice. If not, well, at least you're having fun anyway.

MystressDream -> RE: What are the odds of finding love? (11/14/2007 2:52:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressDolly quote: ORIGINAL: deadscout It seems as a switch, I occupy a relativly rare place. It seems far removed from what is considered the average male, especially when you consider how many people are not into BDSM much less a switch. I'm wondering what the odds are of finding love or if I should just give up on it. Focus less on what you don't have and more on what you do have. Concentrate on working and improving you, e.g., reading, working out, charity, etc... whatever. Someone is bound to come along and take notice. If not, well, at least you're having fun anyway. *Also, consider studying things that give you more to offer a prospective Mistress.... Such as massage classes... pedicure classes... etc.*

MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: What are the odds of finding love? (11/15/2007 4:41:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: deadscout It seems as a switch, I occupy a relativly rare place. It seems far removed from what is considered the average male, especially when you consider how many people are not into BDSM much less a switch. I'm wondering what the odds are of finding love or if I should just give up on it. deadscout, One might think that being a bisexual switch (as you are) widens your pool of potential partners, but alas - as you are finding - the opposite is true. I admire the honesty in your profile. But may I be somewhat brutal? You come across as someone wanting to experiment with other human beings of all persuasions until you work out your own sexuality. That might be honest, but not many people like being a temporary experiment. If I was a switch looking for love, I would actually post two profiles - one Dominant and one submissive. I know that sounds dishonest, but the truth in my experience is that lots of people are switches - just not with the same person in the same relationship. Advertising yourself as a switch - if you are not actually seeking to switch in the relationship - can be confusing and unnecessarily off-putting to potential partners in your area I would try to focus on finding someone who makes my heart sing and loving him/her just the way he/she is. After some time you can broach the subject of switching (within or outside the relationship) if thats still what you really want. I think you would be surprised how many people are open to switching, but don't like to talk about it publicly. My advice is to meet someone you really like and focus on loving him/her and being happy together. Getting the sex life right after that should be easy.

deadscout -> RE: What are the odds of finding love? (11/15/2007 6:12:14 AM)
MsCfrom Melbourne, thanks for your thoughts, but I prefer to just lay it all out there and let it fall where it may. But I think you're right about most people not wantiong to be an experiment, but who knows, maybe I'll find someone else willing/wanting to experiment which would be a match made in heaven for me. I didn't want to come across sounding jaded to anyone. Overall, I am extremly happy and upbeat. I'm probably enjoying life more now than ever before. I was mostly asking if it is a lot harder to find someone in this lifestyle and how many have been or know someone who has been successful. I am greatly encouraged by the responses as well as the friendly people on this site.

lateralist1 -> RE: What are the odds of finding love? (11/15/2007 9:21:21 AM)
I've been looking for the right partner for years. I've played with people who no way would ever be right for me. I've stopped doing it. If I can't do it with someone I care about deeply then there is no point. It's like the difference between making love and the other. In the end you can only do it your way and hope. Switching within a relationship is what vanilla's do so they are mostly unhappy. I can top or bottom if I really wanted to but I can't ever be submissive. I think your submissive in your relationships It doesn't stop you from topping if you find a Domme who likes it sometimes. I'm quite happy to train a sub to top me when I want him to.

Stephann -> RE: What are the odds of finding love? (11/15/2007 10:54:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressDolly Focus less on what you don't have and more on what you do have. Concentrate on working and improving you, e.g., reading, working out, charity, etc... whatever. Someone is bound to come along and take notice. If not, well, at least you're having fun anyway. She's spot on. Take it a step further; it seems you're struggling with a confidence problem right now. Ask yourself if you'd want a great girl with zero confidence in herself? Not to save her, but just to be with her? Probably not. Do you want a woman to save you, or do you genuinely want someone who challenges you, and whom YOU can challenge! That's part of what being an emotional partner is about. The added bonus, is that you're out there, doing things you love. You have a far better chance of meeting people, and having them interested in you, when they see you doing something you love. I can't tell you how often I've met people while playing guitar in bars or pubs, because I was genuinely enjoying myself. As for you being a switch specifically, you've got a tough road to walk in the BDSM community. Men who are willing to submit simply have an uphill battle. They're often not seen submissive enough to actually be owned, nor dominant enough to actually own someone. A word of advice, though, is that many female dominants are actually switches as well. Male switches often do well with female switches; so that might give you some direction. But beyond the label, it shouldn't really matter if you're dom, sub, or switch. People will learn to like you, for you, for who you are; not what you like or how you like it. Good luck, Stephan

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