How would you ....

How would you .... (Full Version)

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JoyfulMistress -> How would you .... (11/13/2007 10:40:42 AM)
Imagine you are head over heels in love with the one who you are in a power exchange with ( your sub/slave/maso/bottom/whatever else term fits for you) and they are a virgin in the most basic of ways... time has come for you to deflower your _____ fill in the blank for the proper term___ .... Would you incorperate BDSM into taking thier virginity,why or why not ? What would you do to insure they have a wonderful romantic and memoriable experience ? Would you go with any of the nilla cliche's like candles,music, movies and dinner out why or why not ? I looke forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions till then I hope you and yours have a wonderful day Joy

oreogirl -> RE: How would you .... (11/13/2007 10:47:03 AM)
I would hope that my master would be slow, gentle, caring, and above all LOVING. The other things would be to help me relax. This is a big moment, not just because I'm losing my virginity, but because I'm sharing this rite of passage with you.

YourhandMyAss -> RE: How would you .... (11/13/2007 10:54:34 AM)
I would not consider nor be dating a virgin, unless they were so special, so fantastic so irrestiable I would kick myself for years to come for not snatching them up. Virgins, expesially sexual ones do not interest me. quote: ORIGINAL: JoyfulMistress Imagine you are head over heels in love with the one who you are in a power exchange with ( your sub/slave/maso/bottom/whatever else term fits for you) and they are a virgin in the most basic of ways... time has come for you to deflower your

MsIncontrol -> RE: How would you .... (11/13/2007 11:06:12 AM)
Of course I would use BDSM in the deflowering. Taking what I want...in the manner in which I want it. He hopefully has kept it for a reason..waiting for the right person...wanting it to be special..and if he is yours than he would want it this way too I bet. I get very little from vanilla style sex...so I would definately have to incorportate some kink. Of course, I always use candles, music and such during my scenes...to me that is just basic mood setting to me. As far as movies and dinner...if it is something you enjoy doing with him. Edited to add: I made it sound like I would not be kind, loving and romantic. I think it can be ALL of those things at the same time. BDSM, Kinky, Loving, Romantic and special all put together.

thetammyjo -> RE: How would you .... (11/13/2007 11:06:31 AM)
That pretty much describes my relationship with Fox. Other than kissing I was in first in other sexual matters. I just went step by step, keeping it fully without our Ds dynamic but always aware of his feelings, asking questions and providing constant feedback. He gets a sort of scientific look on his face when we do something new -- big surprise from a physics boy, huh? He loves studying how I react and he's always exceedingly attention. He tells me having sex with me is never exactly the same as though that's a big surprise.

AFlyInYourWeb -> RE: How would you .... (11/14/2007 3:06:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JoyfulMistress Would you incorperate BDSM into taking thier virginity,why or why not ? What would you do to insure they have a wonderful romantic and memoriable experience ? Would you go with any of the nilla cliche's like candles,music, movies and dinner out why or why not ? I believe that BDSM is romantic. I think it fosters intimacy. I don't know how much BDSM has been part of the power exchange you have been sharing, but anything he has enjoyed before he is likely to enjoy again. Perhaps add one or two new twists, if he has had some BDSM experiences with you. If BDSM has not been a part of your dynamic up until this point, I suggest light bondage, and sensual foreplay like teasing and denial [until you are ready, of course]. Maybe you can put those candles to good use for something other than lighting effect. I came very close to your scenario in my late teens. It wasn't my first experience; however, it was my second. It started with light bondage, just hands tied to a headboard with a couple of scarves. It was all she really needed. The teasing rapidly got me into a lather. After my initial ejaculation, she gradually added in little "upgrades" like a blindfold, and a bare-handed spanking. At that point, I was in heaven, and willing to try anything she wanted. However, she was patient and proceeded with slow deliberation. It was a positive, life-enhancing experience, and I hope it works out equally well for your virgin.

LadyLynx -> RE: How would you .... (11/14/2007 4:23:32 PM)
well I am hugely romantic, so I would love to go down the romantic route. But I would discuss it with my sub 1st. As for virginal Dominants, well while I am pretty okay with bdsm virgins, sexual virgins, ahhh no.

JoyfulMistress -> RE: How would you .... (11/14/2007 4:51:03 PM)
Thank you all for your input .. I will explain a bit of the situation of what is coming up .. My boy , came into this lifestyle a complete virgin both to BDSM and to sex... not to mention knowing true love and being used to a Female touching him etc. We have been working on each in it's own way and now .. now we are at the point where he is wanting to give his gift to Me ....which is amazing as that was the very first limit when we first spoke ~gentle smile forms~ Now I am more than touched and want our relationship to go into this area HOWEVER I am not in the practice of deflowering .. thus I would love some tips or tricks or insight into how to make this the best it possibly can be for this tender souled man I call kitten .

MasterFireMaam -> RE: How would you .... (11/14/2007 10:31:49 PM)
Why not ask them what would make it special for them? What makes it special for YOU is that you're the FIRST. Master Fire

laurell3 -> RE: How would you .... (11/14/2007 11:43:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam Why not ask them what would make it special for them? What makes it special for YOU is that you're the FIRST. Master Fire I agree.

MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: How would you .... (11/15/2007 4:10:25 AM)
I asked my sub what he thinks, since he IS a boy The cheeky monkey says "its not every day you lose your virginity..........for the 15th time!". (Now I have a sneaking suspicion my boy was pulling that scam until he was over 30!!) But on a serious note, I had a romantic encounter with a virginal sub boy half my age a few months ago and I just couldn't bring myself to do the de-flowering! We experimented with lots of BDSM (some of it pretty extreme on reflection) but I knew he was in love with me and making love would mean far more to him than me....so I set him free. By all means use bondage, sensory deprivation (blindfold) and anything else romantic, but most of all be gentle with his heart. Young submissive men are sweet, romantic, vulnerable and trusting. First love lasts a lifetime

vampchick88 -> RE: How would you .... (11/15/2007 9:23:02 AM)
My idea would be taking my sub with a very romantic day, much like I have planned for when we meet. A lovely day, lots of romance, lots of candles! so that only candle light brightens the room. Sweet, sensual, compassionate, very much a day of loving acts with the best saved for last. At least its the way I view it personally...and it has its perks. At the end of the night after I've deflowered him, I would place my collar around his neck. He would know that he is now "marked" in a sense and will know the bdsm will begin shortly. First times can leave an impression for life, I'd hope to make it his best. M. Lorelei

InnocentYoungSub -> RE: How would you .... (11/15/2007 9:41:44 AM)
Some of the virgin-hating going on in this thread is not very flattering. [&o] Takes me back to being rejected by a girl I was in love with for being too "innocent"(i.e. a virgin). Not too pleasant a memory...

aidan -> RE: How would you .... (11/15/2007 6:19:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: InnocentYoungSub Some of the virgin-hating going on in this thread is not very flattering. [&o] Takes me back to being rejected by a girl I was in love with for being too "innocent"(i.e. a virgin). Not too pleasant a memory... Dude, are you really going to come out and say that? After the posts from Ms. C, vampchick, Ms. Incontrol, and JoyfulMistress? Really? I, frankly, am getting kind of hot and bothered by all this. It's makes my decision to remain a virgin until I find the right person seem all the wiser. :D

pixelslave -> RE: How would you .... (11/15/2007 8:54:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam Why not ask them what would make it special for them? What makes it special for YOU is that you're the FIRST. Master Fire Like larell3, this is a post I very much agree *with!* When I lost my virginity, it was truly a genuinely disappointing experience for me. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m23.gif[/image] IMO, if there's ever a time a Domme should seriously consider catering to a sub's fantasies, this would definitely be *the one!* [&:] - pixel Collared to Majik

DiurnalVampire -> RE: How would you .... (11/15/2007 9:04:04 PM)
This was my Fox to a tee. AS far as I know, he didnt even have much experience with kissing before me. Sex was an initial limit for us, and I made sure he knew I was not going to push for it. BDSM was integrated in his first time, becasue he wanted it to be. Part of his initial fantasy was to lose it in a non-vanilla manner. I told him that he had to tell me when he was ready, and be sure of it... And I must say, the line he used was one of the smothest I have ever heard. "I dont think I want you to respect my limits tonight." He didnt want to tell me to take it, since that was too out of character for him. He wanted it to be my decision to take it. However, that was my cue that the barrier was no longer there. Id agree with the others... find out what your boy's fantasies about his first time are, and see if any of them get your interest. DV

JoyfulMistress -> RE: How would you .... (11/15/2007 11:13:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: aidan quote: ORIGINAL: InnocentYoungSub Some of the virgin-hating going on in this thread is not very flattering. [&o] Takes me back to being rejected by a girl I was in love with for being too "innocent"(i.e. a virgin). Not too pleasant a memory...Sorry you went through something like that however if you spin it and realize that the girl who did this wasn't the proper One for you .The One for you is out there somewhere and will cherish the fact that you are innocent ! Dude, are you really going to come out and say that? After the posts from Ms. C, vampchick, Ms. Incontrol, and JoyfulMistress? Really? I, frankly, am getting kind of hot and bothered by all this. It's makes my decision to remain a virgin until I find the right person seem all the wiser. :D Your decision to remain a virgin is a great thing and I am proud of you for your choice ... and know the Proper One for you will be more than honored and touched ~Smiles~

Aubre -> RE: How would you .... (11/16/2007 6:28:19 AM)
If you wanted to do a big mindfuck you could tell him it was going to happen, tie him up, do lots of play and tease, get him thinking it was just about to happen then ice him down and lock him into a chastity device, tell him he is going to be a virgin forever, then take him in the rear with a strap-on. You could always do him later, but the wild mindfuck would be achieved.

rubberpet -> RE: How would you .... (11/16/2007 7:27:10 AM)
Even though I may not be a virgin in the actual definition of the word, I choose to remain celebate as an act of devotion to Mistress. While with Her, I've had offers for sex, but I turned them all down because I am in a committed relationship with Mistress. So I look at it as "virginity reborn". I take sex very seriously and while I made poor choices in the past by sleeping with someone I didn't love, deep down in my heart I only want to give that part of myself to the one woman who holds my heart. So I've decided to remain completely celebate for Her...She has done the same for me. So, since July when I first introduced myself to Mistress, I haven't had sex with anyone and I will continue that until we meet. She'll be the one who I give that part of myself to because the feelings are there for both of us.

JoyfulMistress -> RE: How would you .... (11/16/2007 7:52:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rubberpet Even though I may not be a virgin in the actual definition of the word, I choose to remain celebate as an act of devotion to Mistress. While with Her, I've had offers for sex, but I turned them all down because I am in a committed relationship with Mistress. So I look at it as "virginity reborn". I take sex very seriously and while I made poor choices in the past by sleeping with someone I didn't love, deep down in my heart I only want to give that part of myself to the one woman who holds my heart. So I've decided to remain completely celebate for Her...She has done the same for me. So, since July when I first introduced myself to Mistress, I haven't had sex with anyone and I will continue that until we meet. She'll be the one who I give that part of myself to because the feelings are there for both of us. rubberpet, Your choice to remain only for your Mistress is so endearing.There is something so wonderful about allowing that part to be only for Her and with the feelings that you say are there for both of you ~Smiles~ well I have a feeling you both are in for some wonderful times.Thank you for sharing and I hope you and your Mistress are able to share breathing space and more soon .

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