RE: When not to pursue

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hermione83 -> RE: When not to pursue (11/14/2007 2:04:21 AM)
My opinion is yes, men should do all the pursuing, first contacting, first everything. We women are cursed with ovaries - the least a man can do is risk enough of his pride trying to get one of us - and just because he's such a good person that he would honestly rather that than to put us through risking our dignity. It's just a lovely, honorable thing to do for a girl, and every man should do it - Dom or otherwise.

Rushemery -> RE: When not to pursue (11/14/2007 3:08:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hermione83 My opinion is yes, men should do all the pursuing, first contacting, first everything. We women are cursed with ovaries - the least a man can do is risk enough of his pride trying to get one of us - and just because he's such a good person that he would honestly rather that than to put us through risking our dignity. It's just a lovely, honorable thing to do for a girl, and every man should do it - Dom or otherwise. yes but also you have only one head and sense we have two sometimes we are indecisive and cant always tell which one has decided to give chase! So its better to be alerted so that we know that its ok to let our minds run wild

agirl -> RE: When not to pursue (11/14/2007 3:30:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 quote: ORIGINAL: Aceton I'll add this though, pursuing does occasionally make me feel kind of lame and desperate. I'm not sure why that is. It's almost like I feel I shouldn't be pursuing anyone, that if they wanted me they would come to me. This of course, makes no logical sense, because if both people felt that way, well then nobody would ever get anyone :) But still, there it is. I feel like If I am pursuing them maybe they don't like me enough. Or he is out of my league, can get better etc.. But when I let them pursue me and I tend to end up with the most aggressive guys, the ones that don't take no for an answer..etc. That hasn't been good. One good thing about the pursuit is you do get to choose. You can also end the persuit if the guy ends up having some character flaw you don't like. In short you are in control, if you are strong enough to resist his domly ways... The danger here is the relationship moves too fast..not enough friendship in the beginning. Why view getting to know an interesting person as pursuit? Few people feel under pressure when someone is interested in them as a potential friend, or as an interesting person to know. Getting to know someone as a person, gives you AND them, the chance to see if either of you have anything the other might WANT to pursue. .....without an agenda attached to it. I'm not sure why you think there's more control if YOU choose to initiate conversation and less if THEY do. No-one is under any obligation to do anything more than swap information, chat and learn a little about each other, either way. It only becomes a problem if you've already loaded the getting to know you process with their status as an s or D. As soon as you say pursuit you have a goal in mind, and that often is a huge hindrance to getting to know the person as a whole. Domly ways are part of an entire man........it's not about being able to resist them, it's about having spent time getting to know whether you are interested in the man, as a whole. You've said it yourself here........not enough friendship in the beginning.........that's not as likely to happen if you are viewing people as potentials. agirl

hermione83 -> RE: When not to pursue (11/14/2007 3:33:11 AM)
But Rush, I must suspect by your last sentence that it's still about you needing confirmation as to not put yourself at risk for rejection more than having her do so out of some protection from immorality. It just doesn't make sense otherwise. She could be just as lusty... So maybe try to figure out why you like her, and then go and try get her. And if she doesn't want you and you're sure, why not do a bit of pursuading? Women love a good woo for the right reasons.

shootingstar67 -> RE: When not to pursue (11/14/2007 3:50:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 quote: ORIGINAL: Aceton I'll add this though, pursuing does occasionally make me feel kind of lame and desperate. I'm not sure why that is. It's almost like I feel I shouldn't be pursuing anyone, that if they wanted me they would come to me. This of course, makes no logical sense, because if both people felt that way, well then nobody would ever get anyone :) But still, there it is. I feel like If I am pursuing them maybe they don't like me enough. Or he is out of my league, can get better etc.. But when I let them pursue me and I tend to end up with the most aggressive guys, the ones that don't take no for an answer..etc. That hasn't been good. One good thing about the pursuit is you do get to choose. You can also end the persuit if the guy ends up having some character flaw you don't like. In short you are in control, if you are strong enough to resist his domly ways... The danger here is the relationship moves too fast..not enough friendship in the beginning. Why view getting to know an interesting person as pursuit? Few people feel under pressure when someone is interested in them as a potential friend, or as an interesting person to know. Getting to know someone as a person, gives you AND them, the chance to see if either of you have anything the other might WANT to pursue. .....without an agenda attached to it. I'm not sure why you think there's more control if YOU choose to initiate conversation and less if THEY do. No-one is under any obligation to do anything more than swap information, chat and learn a little about each other, either way. It only becomes a problem if you've already loaded the getting to know you process with their status as an s or D. As soon as you say pursuit you have a goal in mind, and that often is a huge hindrance to getting to know the person as a whole. Domly ways are part of an entire man........it's not about being able to resist them, it's about having spent time getting to know whether you are interested in the man, as a whole. You've said it yourself here........not enough friendship in the beginning.........that's not as likely to happen if you are viewing people as potentials. agirl Friendships are pursued. Havn't you ever pursued a friendship?

agirl -> RE: When not to pursue (11/14/2007 3:55:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hermione83 My opinion is yes, men should do all the pursuing, first contacting, first everything. We women are cursed with ovaries - the least a man can do is risk enough of his pride trying to get one of us - and just because he's such a good person that he would honestly rather that than to put us through risking our dignity. It's just a lovely, honorable thing to do for a girl, and every man should do it - Dom or otherwise. Ovaries are a curse? What does having ovaries have to do with anything? agirl

Rushemery -> RE: When not to pursue (11/14/2007 4:01:28 AM)
lol, that could be, but I also have to look at my history from 12 up the women who I chased typically became one night stands those that chased me and I liked became relationships, I come from a line of strong women, they have to be in order to deal with us also I dont woo until I like someone I like what agirl wrote, well its another day bright and sunny have a great day all

agirl -> RE: When not to pursue (11/14/2007 4:16:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 quote: ORIGINAL: Aceton I'll add this though, pursuing does occasionally make me feel kind of lame and desperate. I'm not sure why that is. It's almost like I feel I shouldn't be pursuing anyone, that if they wanted me they would come to me. This of course, makes no logical sense, because if both people felt that way, well then nobody would ever get anyone :) But still, there it is. I feel like If I am pursuing them maybe they don't like me enough. Or he is out of my league, can get better etc.. But when I let them pursue me and I tend to end up with the most aggressive guys, the ones that don't take no for an answer..etc. That hasn't been good. One good thing about the pursuit is you do get to choose. You can also end the persuit if the guy ends up having some character flaw you don't like. In short you are in control, if you are strong enough to resist his domly ways... The danger here is the relationship moves too fast..not enough friendship in the beginning. Why view getting to know an interesting person as pursuit? Few people feel under pressure when someone is interested in them as a potential friend, or as an interesting person to know. Getting to know someone as a person, gives you AND them, the chance to see if either of you have anything the other might WANT to pursue. .....without an agenda attached to it. I'm not sure why you think there's more control if YOU choose to initiate conversation and less if THEY do. No-one is under any obligation to do anything more than swap information, chat and learn a little about each other, either way. It only becomes a problem if you've already loaded the getting to know you process with their status as an s or D. As soon as you say pursuit you have a goal in mind, and that often is a huge hindrance to getting to know the person as a whole. Domly ways are part of an entire man........it's not about being able to resist them, it's about having spent time getting to know whether you are interested in the man, as a whole. You've said it yourself here........not enough friendship in the beginning.........that's not as likely to happen if you are viewing people as potentials. agirl My problem is I do pursue friendship. They are not interested in friendship. They want sex. So while I am pursuing a relationship they turn on me and do a pursuit themselves. 1 Then you've found your answer already. You're in control of what you offer and what you give. If you're chatting to someone and getting to know them as a friend and they're hotly chasing sex with you.......you have a pretty good indication where they're coming from and where they're aiming. You are pursuing friendship........they are pursuing sex. I'm curious why it's a problem to just sideline people that really aren't looking for what you are. agirl

shootingstar67 -> RE: When not to pursue (11/14/2007 4:23:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: hermione83 My opinion is yes, men should do all the pursuing, first contacting, first everything. We women are cursed with ovaries - the least a man can do is risk enough of his pride trying to get one of us - and just because he's such a good person that he would honestly rather that than to put us through risking our dignity. It's just a lovely, honorable thing to do for a girl, and every man should do it - Dom or otherwise. Ovaries are a curse? What does having ovaries have to do with anything? agirl Ovaries have alot to do with everything. Woman's native instincts are to be more careful of who they have sex with. A woman needs someone who will stick around and hunt and protect her from the sibertooth tiger but be gentle enough to not kill her and her offspring if she burns the wooly mammoth meat. Before our insitutions of marriage and our laws to protect women and the welfare system ,and birth control, all women had was her instincts and friendship with men. A guy caveman could knock a girl caveman up and wander off if he wanted. But you can't wander off from a baby..a woman can't. A mistake in this computer age of law and structure and courts is thinking humans are not born with instincts like animals have. But a womans instincts are well developed.

agirl -> RE: When not to pursue (11/14/2007 4:26:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 quote: ORIGINAL: Aceton I'll add this though, pursuing does occasionally make me feel kind of lame and desperate. I'm not sure why that is. It's almost like I feel I shouldn't be pursuing anyone, that if they wanted me they would come to me. This of course, makes no logical sense, because if both people felt that way, well then nobody would ever get anyone :) But still, there it is. I feel like If I am pursuing them maybe they don't like me enough. Or he is out of my league, can get better etc.. But when I let them pursue me and I tend to end up with the most aggressive guys, the ones that don't take no for an answer..etc. That hasn't been good. One good thing about the pursuit is you do get to choose. You can also end the persuit if the guy ends up having some character flaw you don't like. In short you are in control, if you are strong enough to resist his domly ways... The danger here is the relationship moves too fast..not enough friendship in the beginning. Why view getting to know an interesting person as pursuit? Few people feel under pressure when someone is interested in them as a potential friend, or as an interesting person to know. Getting to know someone as a person, gives you AND them, the chance to see if either of you have anything the other might WANT to pursue. .....without an agenda attached to it. I'm not sure why you think there's more control if YOU choose to initiate conversation and less if THEY do. No-one is under any obligation to do anything more than swap information, chat and learn a little about each other, either way. It only becomes a problem if you've already loaded the getting to know you process with their status as an s or D. As soon as you say pursuit you have a goal in mind, and that often is a huge hindrance to getting to know the person as a whole. Domly ways are part of an entire man........it's not about being able to resist them, it's about having spent time getting to know whether you are interested in the man, as a whole. You've said it yourself here........not enough friendship in the beginning.........that's not as likely to happen if you are viewing people as potentials. agirl Friendships are pursued. Havn't you ever pursued a friendship? No, I haven't. It's a mutual thing and doesn't require pursuing. My interest will balance theirs; there's a give and take of information and a mutual revealing of self. It's not a hunt or a declaration of intent beyond getting to know one another. agirl

agirl -> RE: When not to pursue (11/14/2007 4:35:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: hermione83 My opinion is yes, men should do all the pursuing, first contacting, first everything. We women are cursed with ovaries - the least a man can do is risk enough of his pride trying to get one of us - and just because he's such a good person that he would honestly rather that than to put us through risking our dignity. It's just a lovely, honorable thing to do for a girl, and every man should do it - Dom or otherwise. Ovaries are a curse? What does having ovaries have to do with anything? agirl Ovaries have alot to do with everything. Woman's native instincts are to be more careful of who they have sex with. A guy just cares if you look good. A woman needs someone who will stick around and hunt and protect her from the sibertooth tiger but be gentle enough to not kill her and her offspring if she burns the mammoth meat. We Ok. I parted ways with your * a man only cares if you look good*. I hope I never make a man feel that he's redundant because I don't need his hunting skills. In my small corner of the world, women are more than their ovaries and hormones and men are more than bulk and muscle. agirl

agirl -> RE: When not to pursue (11/14/2007 4:38:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: hermione83 My opinion is yes, men should do all the pursuing, first contacting, first everything. We women are cursed with ovaries - the least a man can do is risk enough of his pride trying to get one of us - and just because he's such a good person that he would honestly rather that than to put us through risking our dignity. It's just a lovely, honorable thing to do for a girl, and every man should do it - Dom or otherwise. Ovaries are a curse? What does having ovaries have to do with anything? agirl Ovaries have alot to do with everything. Woman's native instincts are to be more careful of who they have sex with. A woman needs someone who will stick around and hunt and protect her from the sibertooth tiger but be gentle enough to not kill her and her offspring if she burns the wooly mammoth meat. Before our insitutions of marriage and our laws to protect women and the welfare system ,and birth control, all women had was her instincts and friendship with men. A guy caveman could knock a girl caveman up and wander off if he wanted. But you can't wander off from a baby..a woman can't. A mistake in this computer age of law and structure and courts is thinking humans are not born with instincts like animals have. But a womans instincts are well developed. I have to take a leap out of the caveman scenario, no matter how enticing it is. For the sake of the OP and the discussion......... I'm thinking in terms of rather more developed methods of choosing friends or mates. agirl

LadyLegs -> RE: When not to pursue (11/14/2007 5:06:44 AM)
I meant the OP

TotalState -> RE: When not to pursue (11/14/2007 5:19:29 AM)
I find that it takes two to tango, no matter who offered to dance. Seriously, if both people in a relationship aren't pursuing each other, what's the point?

Celeste43 -> RE: When not to pursue (11/14/2007 6:22:38 AM)
If you're talking about making your interest known, then do so if you're comfortable with it, don't if you aren't. Personally, I wasn't so I responded to interesting emails rather than sending any out. But pursuing sounds like stalking, as though one is always chasing the other. If you smile and introduce yourself to someone and they don't respond with equal interest, drop it and go on to the next. There's no good reason to be with someone who doesn't have the same level of interest in being with you.

Dnomyar -> RE: When not to pursue (11/14/2007 6:23:56 AM)
When does flirtation become pursuit. What triggers a pursuit.

Kana -> RE: When not to pursue (11/14/2007 8:12:54 AM)
For me flirtation becomes a pursuit when I see something inside them that strikes me. I treat most things in life with a certain amount of playfullness and irreverence. To many people this comes off as flirting, and sometimes it is. But occasionally in the proccess of interacting with someone I see something in them that clicks with something in me and at that point I can go over the edge of casual interest and move into pursuit mode. What it means is that while the playfulness still exists, it now has a purpose behind it, call it playful with intent. What triggers it can be any of a myriad of things. It tends to be something in the persons worldview or value system, intellectual or spiritual. I may lust for the body, but I fall in love with the heart and mind.

scottjk -> RE: When not to pursue (11/14/2007 9:23:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: hermione83 My opinion is yes, men should do all the pursuing, first contacting, first everything. We women are cursed with ovaries - the least a man can do is risk enough of his pride trying to get one of us - and just because he's such a good person that he would honestly rather that than to put us through risking our dignity. It's just a lovely, honorable thing to do for a girl, and every man should do it - Dom or otherwise. Ovaries are a curse? What does having ovaries have to do with anything? agirl Ovaries have alot to do with everything. Woman's native instincts are to be more careful of who they have sex with. A woman needs someone who will stick around and hunt and protect her from the sibertooth tiger but be gentle enough to not kill her and her offspring if she burns the wooly mammoth meat. Before our insitutions of marriage and our laws to protect women and the welfare system ,and birth control, all women had was her instincts and friendship with men. A guy caveman could knock a girl caveman up and wander off if he wanted. But you can't wander off from a baby..a woman can't. A mistake in this computer age of law and structure and courts is thinking humans are not born with instincts like animals have. But a womans instincts are well developed. I have to take a leap out of the caveman scenario, no matter how enticing it is. For the sake of the OP and the discussion......... I'm thinking in terms of rather more developed methods of choosing friends or mates. agirl I just HAVE to comment. agirl? Kudos. hermione83... never mind. What I might say will only cause a full blown argument, and very little in the way of education. I'll just say I'm deeply offended by your comments. I had thought that the "curse of overies" comment had gone the way of "the pain of childbirth" attitude. I see that I'll have to wait a little longer for it's much deserved demise.

agirl -> RE: When not to pursue (11/14/2007 9:42:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: scottjk quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: hermione83 My opinion is yes, men should do all the pursuing, first contacting, first everything. We women are cursed with ovaries - the least a man can do is risk enough of his pride trying to get one of us - and just because he's such a good person that he would honestly rather that than to put us through risking our dignity. It's just a lovely, honorable thing to do for a girl, and every man should do it - Dom or otherwise. Ovaries are a curse? What does having ovaries have to do with anything? agirl Ovaries have alot to do with everything. Woman's native instincts are to be more careful of who they have sex with. A woman needs someone who will stick around and hunt and protect her from the sibertooth tiger but be gentle enough to not kill her and her offspring if she burns the wooly mammoth meat. Before our insitutions of marriage and our laws to protect women and the welfare system ,and birth control, all women had was her instincts and friendship with men. A guy caveman could knock a girl caveman up and wander off if he wanted. But you can't wander off from a baby..a woman can't. A mistake in this computer age of law and structure and courts is thinking humans are not born with instincts like animals have. But a womans instincts are well developed. I have to take a leap out of the caveman scenario, no matter how enticing it is. For the sake of the OP and the discussion......... I'm thinking in terms of rather more developed methods of choosing friends or mates. agirl I just HAVE to comment. agirl? Kudos. hermione83... never mind. What I might say will only cause a full blown argument, and very little in the way of education. I'll just say I'm deeply offended by your comments. I had thought that the "curse of overies" comment had gone the way of "the pain of childbirth" attitude. I see that I'll have to wait a little longer for it's much deserved demise. Appreciated, scottjk. I'm slightly bemused that the OP has deviated from her intial post which smacked strongly of chasing with an agenda. There wasn't mention of making a friend at ALL in the OP, it was about chasing a potential partner and who should do the chasing. agirl

xoxi -> RE: When not to pursue (11/14/2007 10:16:49 AM)
Scott - I would assume you don't have ovaries [8D] Imagine, once a month, someone decided to grab your balls and squeeze. Hard. For three days straight. Sometimes to the point that you were unable to do anything but lie in bed with a cold damp towel over your face and a heating pad on your stomach (or nuts, rather). Oh did I mention the blood part yet? Yeah...I'm just going to skip that. Suffice it to say that IF you aren't in agonizing pain over your balls being cramped, and decide you're even remotely in the mood to have sex...it's going to be a messy affair. And then you get to wash those bloody sheets while you're doubled over in pain from cramped testicles! Doesn't that just sound swell. Yeah my ovaries are a curse. I hate the freaking things - they're irritating and tempestuous and have a serious attitude problem every 28 days or so. I'd have a doctor take them out if I didn't need them in order to procreate. Stupid ovaries. walks away muttering about stupid ovaries and how much I hate them Edited because apparantly my ovaries irritate me so much that "damp" came out as "damn" [&:]

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