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RE: advice needed - 11/14/2007 7:39:41 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I would "settle" for a vanilla relationship if it were the right relationship. I do not define people by the roles they choose though. I was not seeing my Daddy for a few months, and I decided that I wanted to date vanilla men at that time, I did not feel I was "settling", but I did not see as I could get what I had with my Daddy with anyone else, why try? I think labels are limiting I suppose, when a so-called vanilla man could be just right, but you will never see that because you have closed yourself off from the idea. I would strongly encourage you not to do that. Why not play both sides of the fence?

Normally I would not state the above to anyone, but you state in your post that these relationships end up being abusive, which yes, they have the tendency to evolve that way at times which requires a lot of strength as the submissive to deal with that and not allow it, or allow it and be unhappy. I do not know about you, but it is most important that I be happy, more important than being submissive to anyone... but that is just where I am these days!

If it is not fun, does not provide me with joy and peace, I do not want it.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to lilgrlkyla)

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RE: advice needed - 11/14/2007 8:06:23 AM

lilgrlkyla

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

I was not seeing my Daddy for a few months, and I decided that I wanted to date vanilla men at that time, I did not feel I was "settling", but I did not see as I could get what I had with my Daddy with anyone else, why try?

That is the perception I have as well. I have dated many vanilla men. And at the end of the day, they were just not right for me. Especially when a few of them went beyond just dating, and the questions of likes & dislikes came in to play regarding sex. I don't know about you, but I just love that "oh my god" are you serious look. The men look at me like your a crazy kinky bitch I cant handle this.... And usualy bolt.
So to answer you I have not closed myself off to it, I just choose not to go down that road again. I have played on both sides of the fence, I just now know which side I want to be on. If that makes any sence.

quote:

Normally I would not state the above to anyone, but you state in your post that these relationships end up being abusive, which yes, they have the tendency to evolve that way at times which requires a lot of strength as the submissive to deal with that and not allow it, or allow it and be unhappy.

quote:

It is very hard to find a Man, a Dom, a Master, who is near, pleasant & not abusive with Their power.

That was not to imply that the previous relationships I have been in were abusive in any way. It was just an observation i've aquired from being with different sorts of Dom's & Master's. Some I found are on complete & total power trips micro-managing everything. I can't say I've ever been in a physicaly or mentaly abuse situation as of yet. (Well I should say there has been nothing in my past that I havent consented to & Loved). Unless you concider the head games this One is playing with me now.

quote:

I do not know about you, but it is most important that I be happy, more important than being submissive to anyone... but that is just where I am these days!

I agree !

(in reply to juliaoceania)

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Post #: 22