RE: Drive By Doms and Masters (Full Version)

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Beastwithinme -> RE: Drive By Doms and Masters (11/18/2007 4:41:58 AM)

I tend to agree with most that has been said here but would like to add that MOST online Doms or Masters that are ONLY online and not R/l tend to feel at home behind the keyboard. That is the ONLY place they feel they are in the drivers seat, its thier safe place where they can totally control another. I do agree that for the most part they are "players" (married or not) in a world where they have only learned through reading and perving other sites how to control another, its more a fetish for them than a lifestyle. Once they find out it works on some willing souls it becomes an addicting game to them. Face the fact, how can they loose? The worse thing that can happen to them is that they don't get to see the girl they are talking to on cam anymore. So they change thier yahoo ID and move on, its simple. Its very unfortunate that they feel no guilt or remorse about invading someones life who is seriously trying for a D/s relationship. Lets face it, when you "play" on the net there is a good chance you are doing just that......"playing". I have seen SO many people just disappear from the face of the earth once the "online" relationship moves towards "I would love to meet you" the excuses just pour in like a waterfall. To be honest it sickens Me to see it.

My sub and I have a friend that traveled across the world to meet her "online" Master, they had talked online for years and were very much in love (well she was anyway). To make a long story short she went to meet Him and He looked NOTHING like His pictures and when they went to be alone and talk He broke down and cried like a baby saying He was married and had NO clue how to be a Master or a Dom. Needless to say O/our friend was out of about 10k for her total trip counting lost wages and was devastated. A very hard lesson learned about "players" 

I Myself spoke to My sub online for 6 years before meeting her, W/we were best friends for years and spoke neary every day. I refused to collar her online period. W/we never lied to each other about anything and in the long run that was probably one of the biggest factors that built the trust W/we now have. W/we now reside together in the States (she is from Australia).

Chat will never change and I just wish that message could be stressed much deeper to those that are ISO thier soulmate.

Beast



TheGorenSociety -> RE: Drive By Dom's and Masters (11/18/2007 5:59:01 AM)

Hello, I think it is all the above reasons. I agree with what has been stated in most of the posts. As the founder of our offline group, I and a few fellow members conduct a careful, cautious, background screenings on everyone who petitions us and seriously wants to join our membership.  If they are serious and make a effort to move to wards membership, we give them the same seriousness as members.  I have seen what I thought was a potential slave just disappear as well. I gave up along time ago pursuing potential slaves after the initial contact. If they want to be part of my life, then they will make the effort to make my needs,desires, the priority and not a option. Everything else is semantics. I never expect anything until the slave actually walks through our door. I have been unexpectedly deployed a few times, I understand more so then  most about Murphy's law. I have, in my years seen a lot bite off more then they can chew. We have had our share of players even those who do show up can be still players. We  have lost a great deal of time, money and trust. Trust in my mindset, has to be earned for both a potential Master as well as a potential slave.We have a set of procedures in place that eliminates most of those who lack commitment in a short amount of time. Nothing against those who do not have the same mindset, to each their own. This has worked for us, over other methods we have seen used. It has cut down considerably on the players,swinger mindset. Nothing worth anything is without risk. Later



SensibleSam -> RE: Drive By Doms and Masters (11/18/2007 12:21:11 PM)

This sounds like simply being stood up. Anyone who has dated any significant amount has been stood up at one time or another.  When I did vanilla dating I was occasionally stood up and now that I do D/s dating I am again occasionally stood up.

Like so many issues in BDSM there are damn few real verifiable facts. Do vanillas stand up their dates more than kinksters? Who really knows.

For the sake of argument I will stipulate that kinksters stand up their first dates at a higher rate than do vanilla. Let's say 2% versus 1%. My guess is that Doms do so less often than Subs although a Dom not showing up as promised may be perceived as a more serious breach of etiquette. Subs have more to fear after all.

While I'm at it I might as well make up some more statistics. Reasons for standing someone up from the Dom perspective:
  • You got lost. Even in this day of GPS and MapQuest its hard to get to a destination on time. Its like a job interview, if you are late just don't show up. 10%
  • You got last minute information. The BDSM community is close knit. If you have been around for awhile you are known to someone who may advise against you. 2%
  • You get cold feet. 50%
  • You had no intention of meeting someone live because you only do BDSM on-line. 30%
  • You were abducted by aliens. ?

I



sirguym -> RE: Drive By Doms and Masters (11/18/2007 3:41:15 PM)

I find maybe 20% show up. 10% give a credible excuse in good time (and maybe get a second chance), 10% give an incredible excuse and unless it is amusing enough to be forgiven, get ignored from then on, and about 60% don't show.

So never take anybody seriously until you meet them, don't take anything they say as being definitely true.

And once a potential compatibility has been established, arrange a meet, to weed out the wankers.

Anybody who 'submits online' to someone they've never met in person is naive, desperate or mad, IMHO. Because that wonderful young dominatrix you've pledged your life to, or that thrusting assertive God-like master, may well be a fat, balding, married drunk, who can't even wank any longer.



laurell3 -> RE: Drive By Doms and Masters (11/18/2007 6:10:08 PM)

The answer is, like the tootsie roll pop commercial, the world may never know.  Don't sweat it, don't personalize it because you will never have the answer.




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