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BringerOfTears -> RE: Could my fetish be ruining it? (11/15/2007 9:46:03 AM)
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Feydra,
Lots of good advice here that clearly worked for the person giving it. Notice how different the advice is too. That is because people are different and you are just as different.
You are young, you have plenty of time as LA said and time WILL fix this.
First off, I would open up to your partner IF he is the sort who can handle his woman saying "honey, you don't turn me on and I have always faked it with you" Actually, the way to bring this up IF you think he can be supportive in the way YOU need, is to ask for help, which empowers your lover instead of immasculating him.
First, you need to figure out how YOUR body works. What feels good, what doesn't, where and when do you like it hard, where and when do you like it soft, etc. Re-explore your body and share that with your lover if you can.
Now, dealing with your fetish isn't going to be as easy. I might stop you from orgasming your old way and just share pleasure with you. That takes the stress off AND hopefully will make you over time become very horny. Then between the reduced stress of things not being a big deal and the incentive of being horny I would try and explore some fantasies that are not exactly your birthing one but something close like fisting or a giant dildo, something that gets you somewhat excited.
I would probably work on changing the fantasy and allow you to masterbate your way and then perhaps allowing you to have your original fantasy but making you masterbate in a similar but not exactly same way using your newfound knowledge of your body.
I would then make a judgement call, perhaps moving along the lines of both or work on one issue at a time.
The point is to slowly work away from "what works" and adding in some variety a little at a time. Only you two can judge that but the point is to show your mind and your body that there are other things that will work and to build upon what already does work.
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