The Scots Making Fetish News (Full Version)

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Mercnbeth -> The Scots Making Fetish News (8/8/2005 1:12:55 PM)

BIZARRE FETISHES ON RISE Aug 5 2005

SCOTTISH courts are dealing with an ever growing collection of fetishists.

In September 2003, pervert Ian Curtis was caught having sex with a frozen chicken. ( Must have been a chilling experience!)

In the same year, farmer Darran Emms, 35, was caught having sex with the family's Rhodesian Ridgeback dog by his pregnant wife Suzanne.

In 2002, Ross Watt appeared in court charged with having sex with a traffic cone and a shoe. (WOW - A Traffic Cone!!! - No mater which end he used, he must be HUGE!)

In 1993, Karl Watkins was jailed for 18 months for trying to have sex with pavements. That would be "Hard".

Entire Article: http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=15820800%26method=full%26siteid=89488%26headline=bizarre%2dfetishes%2don%2drise%2d-name_page.html



MadameDahlia -> RE: The Scots Making Fetish News (8/8/2005 5:49:47 PM)

What the hell?



Craftsman -> RE: The Scots Making Fetish News (8/8/2005 5:50:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

BIZARRE FETISHES ON RISE Aug 5 2005

SCOTTISH courts are dealing with an ever growing collection of fetishists.

---
In the same year, farmer Darran Emms, 35, was caught having sex with the family's Rhodesian Ridgeback dog by his pregnant wife Suzanne.
---

Entire Article: http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=15820800%26method=full%26siteid=89488%26headline=bizarre%2dfetishes%2don%2drise%2d-name_page.html

Interesting... how did his wife conceive a Rhodesian Ridgeback and carry it through gestation? And if it is indeed by her, is she guilty of adultery with the Sire Rhodesian Ridgeback, cucolding Darren? Is he therefore guilty of incest, since the dog is 'by his pregnant wife Suzanne' (pregnant with what this time?) and definitely "petophilia" I'd be willing to wager.

And they try to tell us the world is not going to the dogs. <shaking head>



Mercnbeth -> RE: The Scots Making Fetish News (8/9/2005 9:14:07 AM)

quote:

Interesting... how did his wife conceive a Rhodesian Ridgeback and carry it through gestation?


That's the way I read that part of the article too! Cloning or artificial insemination? Taking the statement literally the man was having incestuous relationship with his dog. But the real question is, was the dog male or female? Maybe the husband was only getting in touch with his gay side.



fp2012 -> RE: The Scots Making Fetish News (8/10/2005 1:06:57 AM)

haha this is crazy! Pavement and a shoe? Was that at the same time? lol

Jeez, I'd be jailed for life if the cops ever came knocking around my door!
"Drop that screwdriver and step away from the power tools!"



bmcelhinney -> RE: The Scots Making Fetish News (8/10/2005 12:50:28 PM)

Crazy Scots. Geeze.



Mylee -> RE: The Scots Making Fetish News (8/10/2005 6:42:54 PM)

You two always make me laugh!



nella -> RE: The Scots Making Fetish News (8/11/2005 5:35:25 AM)

quote:

In September 2003, pervert Ian Curtis was caught having sex with a frozen chicken. ( Must have been a chilling experience!)


A frosen chiken, why would like to have sex whit a frosen chiken. I usualy cook and eat mine.



Craftsman -> RE: The Scots Making Fetish News (8/11/2005 3:28:51 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: nella

quote:

In September 2003, pervert Ian Curtis was caught having sex with a frozen chicken. ( Must have been a chilling experience!)


A frosen chiken, why would like to have sex whit a frosen chiken. I usualy cook and eat mine.

I like your approach better, nella. I think thawing the chicken first and cooking it at least keeps your tongue from freezing to the chicken. Oral sex with a cooked chicken is probably not as satisfying for the chicken as it is for the giver of the oral erotic stimulation. Then again, my mouth hasbeen stimulated by some excellent chicken, so perhaps I must needs go perform oral contact with cooked chickens more often. It does leave a very pleasant taste in one's mouth, indeed.




Lordandmaster -> RE: The Scots Making Fetish News (8/11/2005 3:57:27 PM)

Why is it illegal to have sex with a frozen chicken?



Mercnbeth -> RE: The Scots Making Fetish News (8/11/2005 4:17:29 PM)

quote:

Why is it illegal to have sex with a frozen chicken?


Maybe it's the "frozen" aspect that makes it illegal? But then why are these laws on the books in my adopted home state of California?...

California Law:
Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.

Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. (Now I know where that extra police money went - patrolling for illegal animal mating.)

Many animals are illegal to own as pets, including snails, sloths, and elephants. (I called the police regarding the illegal snails that the prior owner of my house left behind, but they still haven't shown up to remove them. I hope I'm not arrested if they think they are mine!)
Bathhouses are against the law.

In an animal shelter, lizards and snakes are treated under the same guidelines as cats and dogs.

No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.

Women may not drive in a house coat. (beth drives nude so she won't get in trouble.)

It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale. (I do some of my BEST whale shooting from my Z3 with the top down on the way home. Haven't bagged one yet luckily - imagine the leftovers???)[:D]

Source: http://www.dumblaws.com/

Disclaimer: I don't really hunt whales - it was a sick attempt at humor. My apologies if I scared any of the tree hugging, blind salamander saving, owl droppings studying, left wing wacko environmentalists.



Lordandmaster -> RE: The Scots Making Fetish News (8/11/2005 4:26:56 PM)

I'm pretty sure the bathhouses ordinance comes from the early 1980's in response to AIDS. I remember that it was a major controversy in California; even today you find disgruntled right-wing farts complaining about all the liberals who fought to keep the bathhouses open.



atenderheart -> RE: The Scots Making Fetish News (8/13/2005 10:25:16 AM)

makes you totaly understand why the scotts drink and wear kilts doesnt it lol



tedibare -> RE: The Scots Making Fetish News (8/24/2005 10:14:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

Disclaimer: I don't really hunt whales - it was a sick attempt at humor. My apologies if I scared any of the tree hugging, blind salamander saving, owl droppings studying, left wing wacko environmentalists.


hey now, some of us tree hugging(hey trees need love too) , blind salamander saving(awww just get em some seeing eye dogs), owl droppings studying(ewwww) left wing wacko environmentalists are rather nice.....

tedi*waving from the left*



zaynab -> RE: The Scots Making Fetish News (8/24/2005 11:17:44 PM)

at least they're getting layed.



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