Status and Dominants

Status and Dominants (Full Version)

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shootingstar67 -> Status and Dominants (11/15/2007 5:14:12 AM)
This is a question for submissives/slaves/bottoms. There is a different version of this question in the "ask a Master" section. When you seek a new relationship, do seek someone of equal social status, What about below you? Above you? Why? Is your preference due to how you were raised or was it personal experience? As a submissive/slave do you find it easier to submit to a person who is in a dominant social position?

IrishMist -> RE: Status and Dominants (11/15/2007 5:19:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 This is a question for submissives/slaves/bottoms. There is a different version of this question in the "ask a Master" section. When you seek a new relationship, do seek someone of equal social status, What about below you? Above you? Why? Is your preference due to how you were raised or was it personal experience? As a submissive/slave do you find it easier to submit to a person who is in a dominant social position? Based ONLY on social status... I could care less what they do for a living or what their social status is.

lockmeupplease -> RE: Status and Dominants (11/15/2007 5:27:15 AM)
How are you defining "social status"? Honestly, I have never given any thought to the "social status" of a Mistress---it is totally unimportant to me and would appear to have very little to do with how they affect me (and without being judgmental about your question seems a bit snotty!) For me, I adore my Miss because of her intelligence, wicked imagination and the way she pushes my buttons :)

rubberpet -> RE: Status and Dominants (11/15/2007 5:35:27 AM)
Social status doesn't really mean anything to me. My domme could live in a cardboard box and flip burgers for a living, but as long as we clicked, I wouldn't care. I do, however, like for my domme to be grounded and focused. Mistress is goal driven. She is in college working towards Her nursing degree. She wants to make something of Herself and help people, too. That is very important to me. That, and the fact She is probably the darkest, wet-dream of a fantasy I could ever hope for[sm=crop.gif]

shootingstar67 -> RE: Status and Dominants (11/15/2007 5:43:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lockmeupplease How are you defining "social status"? Honestly, I have never given any thought to the "social status" of a Mistress---it is totally unimportant to me and would appear to have very little to do with how they affect me (and without being judgmental about your question seems a bit snotty!) You are not being judgemental about my question... but it seems snotty? Ok answer this, all other things being equal, If you had a choice between a college educated Mistress living in a nice home and a disabled person living in a run down trailer park..who would you pick? Please note before you judge this question..that I am a disabled person living on SSI

IrishMist -> RE: Status and Dominants (11/15/2007 5:56:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 quote: ORIGINAL: lockmeupplease How are you defining "social status"? Honestly, I have never given any thought to the "social status" of a Mistress---it is totally unimportant to me and would appear to have very little to do with how they affect me (and without being judgmental about your question seems a bit snotty!) You are not being judgemental about my question... but it seems snotty? Ok answer this, all other things being equal, If you had a choice between a college educated Mistress living in a nice home and a disabled person living in a run down trailer park..who would you pick? Please note before you judge this question..that I am a disabled person living on SSI It seems that you are taking his answer a bit personally. Your whole post here comes off as defensive and argumentative.

lockmeupplease -> RE: Status and Dominants (11/15/2007 5:56:29 AM)
Point well taken shootingstar :) The mental picture of the educated, successful Mistress versus the "trailer park" does elicit a different visceral response, and I would be lying if I said---all other things being equal---that I wouldn't prefer the former.

Kellendra -> RE: Status and Dominants (11/15/2007 6:08:32 AM)
Hi shootingstar, I am attracted to well educated,well spoken Dom men......who have generally tended to be in "professional" careers. But is not something I really give much thought to, at least not on a conscious level. It could perhaps explain my suit "fetish" mind you....smiles

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Status and Dominants (11/15/2007 6:11:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 When you seek a new relationship, do seek someone of equal social status, What about below you? Above you? i preferred someone who's above me in social status (Daddy) as well as equal (my fiance). yet collectively we are equals when it comes to intelligence, education, etc i would never consider choosing anyone below my status. quote: Why? Is your preference due to how you were raised or was it personal experience? not so much of a personal experience however it's how i was raised (by my parents) and taught by Daddy. He knew that someone would be compatiable to me if the person was equal and/or above me in all areas. quote: As a submissive/slave do you find it easier to submit to a person who is in a dominant social position? good question - i really don't know how to answer that one since Daddy (as well as my fiance) and i didn't began our D/s relationship immediately. it was built on friendship and trust first.

juliaoceania -> RE: Status and Dominants (11/15/2007 6:18:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 This is a question for submissives/slaves/bottoms. There is a different version of this question in the "ask a Master" section. When you seek a new relationship, do seek someone of equal social status, What about below you? Above you? Why? Is your preference due to how you were raised or was it personal experience? As a submissive/slave do you find it easier to submit to a person who is in a dominant social position? How do you define "social status"

juliaoceania -> RE: Status and Dominants (11/15/2007 6:24:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 quote: ORIGINAL: lockmeupplease How are you defining "social status"? Honestly, I have never given any thought to the "social status" of a Mistress---it is totally unimportant to me and would appear to have very little to do with how they affect me (and without being judgmental about your question seems a bit snotty!) You are not being judgemental about my question... but it seems snotty? Ok answer this, all other things being equal, If you had a choice between a college educated Mistress living in a nice home and a disabled person living in a run down trailer park..who would you pick? Please note before you judge this question..that I am a disabled person living on SSI You can be a college educated person and be living in a trailer on disability... just saying. I have never picked my mates based upon their incomes, or social position. I would be lying if I said that education does not mean anything to me. I am educated, and I prefer men who are also because it is a compatibility/shared values issue for me. I have been with men that were on disability and educated. While I do not judge people for falling on hard times, I do wonder about people that will not work for what they want. The disabled do not fall into that category.

shootingstar67 -> RE: Status and Dominants (11/15/2007 6:26:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 quote: ORIGINAL: lockmeupplease How are you defining "social status"? Honestly, I have never given any thought to the "social status" of a Mistress---it is totally unimportant to me and would appear to have very little to do with how they affect me (and without being judgmental about your question seems a bit snotty!) You are not being judgemental about my question... but it seems snotty? Ok answer this, all other things being equal, If you had a choice between a college educated Mistress living in a nice home and a disabled person living in a run down trailer park..who would you pick? Please note before you judge this question..that I am a disabled person living on SSI It seems that you are taking his answer a bit personally. Your whole post here comes off as defensive and argumentative. Ok.

shootingstar67 -> RE: Status and Dominants (11/15/2007 6:33:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania You can be a college educated person and be living in a trailer on disability... just saying. Yes you are right.I have really bad learning disabilities and double digit IQ. it took me eight years get through community college. But I do qualify to transfer to a four year college now. What inspired this question is a Dom who approached me taught at a "good school" that I couldn't even qualify to go to. Naturally he lost interest in me when he discovered my status in life. I don't blame him and and am not surprised.

shootingstar67 -> RE: Status and Dominants (11/15/2007 6:46:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lockmeupplease How are you defining "social status"? Education,Income and maybe even IQ.

BeingChewsie -> RE: Status and Dominants (11/15/2007 6:57:03 AM)
I was looking for someone of a certain socio-economic status. Education, income, IQ, and career choice were important to me. quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 This is a question for submissives/slaves/bottoms. There is a different version of this question in the "ask a Master" section. When you seek a new relationship, do seek someone of equal social status, What about below you? Above you? Why? Is your preference due to how you were raised or was it personal experience? As a submissive/slave do you find it easier to submit to a person who is in a dominant social position?

juliaoceania -> RE: Status and Dominants (11/15/2007 6:58:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania You can be a college educated person and be living in a trailer on disability... just saying. Yes you are right.I have really bad learning disabilities and double digit IQ. it took me eight years get through community college. But I do qualify to transfer to a four year college now. What inspired this question is a Dom who approached me taught at a "good school" that I couldn't even qualify to go to. Naturally he lost interest in me when he discovered my status in life. I don't blame him and and am not surprised. Birds of a feather flock together... there are lots of qualities in this life that people can possess which endear them to each other. Some people have an iron will, some are gentle souls, some are passionate, others are intellectual, some are beautiful, others are very fit and take pride in their physique.. Whatever combination of attributes you have will gain the attention of someone compatible with you. I can think of one attribute you already have... no matter how hard a thing is, you complete it... getting an education no matter how long and how hard it was for you is a definite attribute that I can see someone wanting in a submissive.... You should feel good about that. Love yourself and appreciate yourself just as you are.

liminalRapture -> RE: Status and Dominants (11/15/2007 7:09:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 Education,Income and maybe even IQ. I would add access to resources, and ease in society to your list. And while it isn't part of social status, I think age and, for me, height, is an important part of the equation. For me, I must have intelligence and I also need to have someone who thinks and speaks quickly. The funny thing is, I don't need wisdom. I would love wisdom and I wish wisdom were as important to me as intelligence, but it is only important on an intellectual level--it isn't part of the chemistry for me. Intelligence is all about chemistry. When someone speaks slowly, I get bored. I'm pretty damn smart and really over-educated and ideas excite me. They, frankly, turn me on, almost literally. A good conversation makes my face light up, brings me into the present moment and engages me and nothing can make up for it. I've also noticed I must be with a man who respects my intelligence. I played dumb for a while and I have a tendency to fall into that when I feel like it is what the man is looking for, but I could never sustain it. If I feel like I'm being expected to play dumb, I'll do the role for the evening, but I'll never contact him again. For me, income isn't important as long as he is taking care of his own financial life. (I tend to be turned off by men that spend a lot of money to impress, but that isn't really a status thing as much as trying to prove status.) The funny thing is, I always offer to cover my half on a date, but whenever I do cover my half, he is never interested in me. It is almost like him paying for my drink reminds him of my value, or something horribly unPC like that. Education, all things being equal, it would be nice if he had a terminal degree in his field (I have a doctorate, which can intimidate some men), but my most serious relationship was with a VERY smart man with a GED. That said, a year in, we started having serious clashes in values that I think would have been less pronounced if he and I had had more similar backgrounds. Access to capital: All things being equal, it would be grand, but I'd never even know until I was already so smitten it wouldn't make a difference one way or the other. Ease in society: This is a big one for me. Someone who is going to discuss flogging, or even the name of this website, loudly enough for someone at the next booth to overhear, is never going to work for me. I'm incredibly private. I have noticed some bdsm people who, upon breaking this social taboo, choose to break all of them. I'm just not comfortable hanging out with them. I went to a munch at a diner once and a guy pulled his can out of a case and started discussing it loudly and there was an 8 or 9 year old girl watching, confused. I was ashamed to be at the table with him. It was not appropriate and that is a big one. Age: Oy--this is a big one for me. I would rather have a man who is older, but not more than 10 years or so. I want to look up and respect someone. I've never had a man significantly younger than me be able to actually dominate me. I intimidate them. I'll give them a look that says "I'd like to see you try" and they don't realize it actually means "yes--please try--if you can match me, if you can overcome that look, I'll be yours." Height: For me, this is part of dominance. I want to be able to struggle and lose. I want to feel smaller than him. I do my part by always checking his height and not wearing heels that make me as tall as him. There was one guy I met who was my height, but he was quite strong, so it would have been fine if we'd been headed on the same path.

shootingstar67 -> RE: Status and Dominants (11/15/2007 7:15:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania You can be a college educated person and be living in a trailer on disability... just saying. Yes you are right.I have really bad learning disabilities and double digit IQ. it took me eight years get through community college. But I do qualify to transfer to a four year college now. What inspired this question is a Dom who approached me taught at a "good school" that I couldn't even qualify to go to. Naturally he lost interest in me when he discovered my status in life. I don't blame him and and am not surprised. Birds of a feather flock together... there are lots of qualities in this life that people can possess which endear them to each other. Some people have an iron will, some are gentle souls, some are passionate, others are intellectual, some are beautiful, others are very fit and take pride in their physique.. Whatever combination of attributes you have will gain the attention of someone compatible with you. I can think of one attribute you already have... no matter how hard a thing is, you complete it... getting an education no matter how long and how hard it was for you is a definite attribute that I can see someone wanting in a submissive.... You should feel good about that. Love yourself and appreciate yourself just as you are. Thank you! That is kind of you to notice and say! =) Yes sometimes(many times) I get down on myself for not having the natural gifts God gaves some people. Society tends to applaud those with natural gifts. But from time to time a kind person like you points out to me that there is some value in character traits like determination.

breatheasone -> RE: Status and Dominants (11/15/2007 7:20:48 AM)
Social status means nothing to me...and whether or not the are socially dominant is of little meaning as well.

Celeste43 -> RE: Status and Dominants (11/15/2007 8:02:46 AM)
I'm weird. I click only with college educated males who have blue collar type jobs, or at least are hands on at home. Can't rewire a lamp? Sorry, not for me. Somewhere in my head it says that most problems in life are small things, so a man who can change a tire or fix a flat, fix the garage door when the track got bent, temporarily fix the washing machine until the repair man can get here, run a cable to the router when the wireless stops working etc is someone I can trust. I know some really great guys who can't change a light bulb safely, they just don't do it for me. I don't expect everyone else to have had my upbringing; to be fluent in restaurant French and Italian, to have eaten their numbered duck at Tour D'Argent, to be comfortable meeting heads of state, CEOs, ambassadors etc. I do expect them to have good manners and I will admit to testing them by serving an artichoke to them for the first time and see how they handle it. I give points for admitting ignorance and asking what to do with it. But status for me isn't the issue, it's being able to have dinner with my cousin and her husband the ambassador, being able to go out to a white cloth restaurant and fitting in. Being comfortable with having a maid clean up after you, and being nice enough to make her work easier by picking up your own stuff. If you don't fit into my world, then I won't fit into yours. We go to fancy restaurants and barbecue pits. I'm not going to allow someone to limit me from everything I enjoy because of his insecurities.

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