Tigrita
Posts: 484
Joined: 8/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline
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Interesting question.
We have an interesting situation. I am a bi switch, Stephan is my dominant, we also have a slave girl, Charlotte, who he met and collared the same day he met me and I devoted myself to him. We'd all known eachother deeply for some time even though we had not physically interacted.
I feel that we all have equal value in the relationship. My needs and thoughts and Charlotte's are respected to the utmost degree, and there is nothing we could express that he would not value or value less in relation to eachother. I respect him incredibly for the balancing act he sometimes has to do, if Charlotte's and my needs conflict and he has to decide a way to comprimise in a way the will not hurt either of us, or minimize it as much as possible. It is not about who is more valuable, it is about what need is greater, and what solutions are possible. The same goes for needs that conflict with his needs. He has said that he puts his submissives' needs above his needs, but his wants above his submissives' wants. This strategy seems to work well for the three of us.
As far as status, almost imediately I was given authority and responsibility over Charlotte, and that is something I feel is both natural and earned, works very well for our dynamic. None of us want equal status, that is what the relationship is about. I am switchy, and the natural dynamic with me and Charlotte is that I am dominant with her, and have authority over her that her Master has given me, as well as her natural submissive tendency towards me.
Something a little unusual is that she, the slave, is Stephan's primary partner because they live together, and I am still long distance. This does not change the status in a D/s sense that I have higher status than her and authority over her, but it does influence a lot in that she has a lot more needs to be met in terms of decisions about their living and financial situation etc. I give my opinion when asked or when I feel I have ideas to contribute, but those decisions are mostly handled between the two of them.
So, kind of a complex situation for us, but there you have it.
_____________________________
~ Tigrita
There is no right path, only the path you take.
Success is making life happen, versus just letting life happen to you.
"Many of the things I enjoy, I enjoy because I don't enjoy them." - Charlotte
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RE: Value vs. Status Part II - 
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