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OFFICERT -> From a submissive point of view (11/16/2007 12:50:58 AM)

To all of the submissives of D/s and the daughters of Daddy/daughter to you what is the difference between submissive and daughter? I am curious what the difference is from both points from the submissives and the daughters/lilgirl. I am new to this but I am having a hard time figureing out the difference any opinons or advise is more than welcome. Thank you in advance.  



briska -> RE: From a submissive point of view (11/16/2007 1:05:39 AM)

I'm a little bit of both, but the basic differences we embrace are:

As His submissive, which I started out as, before I really embraced Him being my Daddy also, I did the cleaning and served in whatever capacity He wanted me to (be a footstool, do this, run that errand for me...).

As His girl, I feel like I'm more spoiled than a 'regular' submissive might be, and I can take more liberties ("Daddy, can You do this for me...?") that I would've gotten an eye-brow raise for asking as purely being His submissive. He's my protector when we go out, He drives when we have to do something, and He generally cares for me. It's not exactly a reversal of roles, it's just a softer form of D/s imo.

Now, for us, what my purpose is varies on mood. If I'm feeling cute, He's feeling amorous, or if things need to get done. When we scene, however, generally speaking it's more geared to my masochism than to any role-playing of Daddy/girl. I don't have fantasies of being found out, or being punished for doing something 'naughty', although He will say things like that to me over the course of a day.

I'd also reccomend doing a google search for Daddy/girl sites that are adult & BDSM-related. I used to have a good site that talked about what made a D/g relationship just that, but alas, I've lost it long, long ago.

Hope that helps a little bit,
b.



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: From a submissive point of view (11/16/2007 5:05:39 AM)

what she said



MidnightMaiden -> RE: From a submissive point of view (11/16/2007 5:38:58 AM)

I haven't been a lilgirl, nor would I wish to be.

As a slave I can still ask for whatever I wish, I just preface it with "Master may I", or "Master may your slave".
I still get cuddled, kissed, my hand held, my hair ruffled, my cheek stroked.
I still get told I love you, you're beautiful woman, etc.
Having never been in a daddy/daughter relationship I can't give you a basis for comparison as to how they might be different.



juliaoceania -> RE: From a submissive point of view (11/16/2007 5:49:58 AM)

I am a submissive with a Daddy... I do not refer to myself as his "daughter".

I will say that the power structure is that of parent/child in that if he tells me to do a thing I do it out of respect for his authority. He wants to help me achieve the things I set out to do. He creates a nurturing environment to accomplish that.

Some people that call themselves masters, slaves, sirs and lords interact in the same way... so I do not think the terms we use to refer to ourselves define us, it is just what sounds good to us...my view is this, people should pick their titles, define them for themselves, and live happily ever after.



CalifChick -> RE: From a submissive point of view (11/16/2007 9:55:11 AM)

The "daddy" thing squicks me because I don't want to think of my own father in that way.  EVER.  Others don't see it the same way.  To each his own.

Cali



briska -> RE: From a submissive point of view (11/16/2007 11:58:23 AM)

It took me a while to get used to the Daddy thing, too, in that way. I just seperated the two in my mind. Obviously, incest play is one of those more-taboo topics. But, if you think about it, calling an older male lover "Daddy" is fairly common - you see it in pop-culture in sex-scenes, and the other day I saw it on Girls next Door. It just denotes a role of nurturing & loving to the girl in the relationship.

Also, I'm never his "daughter", rather just his "girl".



sweetdemure -> RE: From a submissive point of view (11/16/2007 12:14:50 PM)

Yes , I 'am a baby girl to Master ............laughs maybe both slave & baby girl. We are real time we have children so we live vanilla as well. I think its like this , when the mood strikes I 'am his baby girl (and not as a daughter) but someone that Master cherishes to spoil and pamper and then I have the roll of slave , pick up after Master laid out his clothes serve him as he pleases with no remarks or comments ,do as your told !!! so I have a varity ...and love it !



Celeste43 -> RE: From a submissive point of view (11/16/2007 12:17:56 PM)

Our relationship has a lot of that, also a lot of teacher/student dynamic. He is the wiser male and I the more naive female. Less service, more nurturing is how I think of it.



CalifChick -> RE: From a submissive point of view (11/16/2007 12:48:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: briska

But, if you think about it, calling an older male lover "Daddy" is fairly common - you see it in pop-culture in sex-scenes, and the other day I saw it on Girls next Door.


Uh, yeah, that "Who's your daddy" thing squicks me as well.  Okay, guess I gotta throw that in the profile as a hard limit. [;)]

Cali



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: From a submissive point of view (11/16/2007 2:50:36 PM)

being Daddy's pampered princess does have its advantages however being called daugther (to me) is an honor.

btw - my Daddydaughter dynamic is a relationship that was missed while growing up military ...i find nothing incestious calling an older man "Daddy" since He's more of a "real" father than my real one. which is why Daddy's escorting me down the aisle during my wedding. 



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: From a submissive point of view (11/16/2007 2:57:58 PM)

To me a sub is someone oriented in personal intimate relationships to transfer their authority on a general ongoing basis to another who accepts and actively uses that authority.

A daughter is someone who orients in some personal relationships to set up a familial bond as the female tendency to be given the nurturing and attention society dictates belongs to the class of "daughter"

There's nothing necessarily inclusive or exclusive about either- there are daughters who have daddies or mommies but not dominants, there are subs who have daddies or mommies but aren't daughters.



grlneedstolearn -> RE: From a submissive point of view (11/16/2007 4:13:15 PM)

i thought they were almost close to being the same thing, only a different word? [8|].. Would be interesting to know what others think



MidnightMaiden -> RE: From a submissive point of view (11/16/2007 4:30:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Uh, yeah, that "Who's your daddy" thing squicks me as well.  Okay, guess I gotta throw that in the profile as a hard limit. [;)]

Cali



Yup gets a big squick factor from me too, from both angles.  Just as I don't want to call a man I am fucking "daddy" I don't want the man I am fucking to refer to me as a "dady's little girl" and I would run screaming if he referred to me as "daughter".  Guess its just not my scene.  I also have no wish to utilize my Master as my therapist, unless of course its a scene and he is doing an internal with his speculum...



LaMspeach -> RE: From a submissive point of view (11/16/2007 4:30:51 PM)

http://www.vanilla-not.com/basics/daddydom.html

This artical helped me understand a little better.

Hope it helps you



MidnightMaiden -> RE: From a submissive point of view (11/16/2007 4:40:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn

i thought they were almost close to being the same thing, only a different word? [8|].. Would be interesting to know what others think


After reading the article that LaMspeach linked, I would suggest that the only difference in my M/s relationship is the titles.



CalifChick -> RE: From a submissive point of view (11/16/2007 5:05:18 PM)

Interesting article, I'll just happen to disagree.  She says "daddy" is nothing like her father, doesn't need to be her father, whatever.  The word "daddy" is a term of endearment that means "father."  They are interchangeable, one and the same. Just because she says "daddy" doesn't mean "father" doesn't make it so.  [:'(]

Cali



Stephann -> RE: From a submissive point of view (11/16/2007 5:34:26 PM)

Hi Cali,

It's all a question of context I think.  An ear might be what we hear with, but it's also a unit of corn.  My understanding is that the term 'Daddy' as presented in a Daddy/littlegirl relationship is modeled after the Daddy/son relationship in the gay community, that reflected an age structured relationship.  Common usage of Daddy/lg relationships don't necessarily require an age componant, but rather any strong dominant male who asserts a dynamic similar to a father figure.  In my first Master/slave relationship, it was easier for my slave to call my 'Daddy' than it was for her to call me Master, because she felt safer.  Her own father was actually quite a submissive man, which we both felt contributed to her desire for a strong male figure in her life.  Incest isn't and wasn't a squicky activity for either of us; obviously someone who is strongly squicked by incest would probably have a difficult time coming to terms with this sort of terminology.  But having been there, I never felt her expectation was for me to be or replace her actual father.

Regards,

Stephan



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: From a submissive point of view (11/16/2007 5:43:34 PM)

From what I'm hearing, people are equating that there is absolutely no difference between father meaning "guy who got a girl pregnant, comes around once every few months with money before going back to his other woman he has four kids with and never remembers birthdays or holidays" and father meaning "constant authority figure, care giver, teacher and guardian who nurtures and respects the relationship and responsibility of raising someone to be a mature responsible independent adult themselves"?

Anyone who thinks "father" can and does mean only one thing and only one type of dynamic is either clueless or not really thinking about what they are saying.  I can understand if PERSONALLY you cannot break free from the bonds which the label "father" has upon you and would not want that dynamic, but don't suggest other people don't have that ability.



Sirsinini -> RE: From a submissive point of view (11/16/2007 6:19:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn

i thought they were almost close to being the same thing, only a different word? [8|].. Would be interesting to know what others think


I think so far the defining word might be nurturing??????
My Sir is all that has been so far described.
Like a few have said...you label it what you want.
 
Sir's devoted property



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