RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

Tigrita -> RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation (11/18/2007 7:08:29 PM)

Whoops, was trying to start that thread, and accidentally posted here again =P



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation (11/18/2007 7:24:47 PM)

I feel I do not need any one to give me value or to devalue me..As with any developing relationship, it will depend on the chemistry and my comfort level going into it or not...But I was just here thinking..(and that is a very dangerous thing..:0)...anyway..Maybe even if there is a good chemistry working and you have had some verbal interactions before the meet, but yet you have the Dominant wait for say, a couple of times, not to necessarily jump through hoops mind you, but to see how he reacts to the delay????Sometimes reactions give you a good idea of their priorities, mindset, attitude etc..humm..Tempting



adoracat -> RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation (11/19/2007 3:56:52 AM)

i "met" Daddy at the end of feb, first part of march.  he and i talked online for a few weeks, had a week of hour long telephone conversations for a week, emailed like it was going out of style...

and yep, had sex the first time we met in person.  i dont think it was a mistake, and neither did he.  yes, absolutely you can have sex too soon in a relationship, and some might devalue you (female OR male) for it.  but are those people who judge you people you want in charge of your life and self esteem?

kitten



subspace08 -> RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation (11/19/2007 5:30:19 PM)

It is never just sex with me If I slept with a guy and expecially if he spanked me or something it is the same as giving my heart and soul away. I can't trust my emotional welbeing to someone I just met



LadyLegs -> RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation (11/19/2007 6:35:58 PM)

how could it be that the woman has had sex "too soon" and the man has not?  Is it that he finishes last and those 3 seconds make all the difference?  I am so confused by this question.



petdave -> RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation (11/19/2007 8:22:20 PM)

i believe it's been proven that under the current market conditions, there is actually a 12% GAIN in retail value for a female. So go ahead, fuck him blue! [:)]



RRafe -> RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation (11/19/2007 8:33:35 PM)

It depends on how you see sex.

I see it as fun-not a sacred institution that can be "devalued." But then again- I view placing values on acts-rather than intents...........as being of importance.



brightspot -> RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation (11/19/2007 9:32:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bbwdommelilith

    It seems that in the vanilla world, men often devalue a female if she has sex "too soon". Is this dynamic also present among those into BDSM?
 
Lilith


Hummm...Experiencing the lesbian world I live in, I don't think we known of "too soon" [:D] and no I have never been or felt devalued afterwards, unless that was the plan [8D].
 
Missy.



brightspot -> RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation (11/19/2007 10:09:33 PM)

Love those "Left Eye" words, it cool like that[;)]!
 
Missy.



DMFParadox -> RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation (11/19/2007 11:16:44 PM)

It helps to establish up front that the girl has not a single bit of value or importance to you anyway until she changes that equation ^_^

Or to put it in less insulting terms, that *neither* of you have anything to lose in face value by a good fvck.  Or by not having one.  And that therefore, chemistry rules, and for me personally, if I'm not getting laid immediately upon deciding that's what I want, then I am calling up someone who will be happier about the idea.  No loss for anyone concerned, and a gain for the callee, unless the original girl wanted to keep me around; but I made that clear from the beginning, so I can feel sorry for her but I won't let that impede my day.  "Waiting" for her to make up her mind and hovering is ultimately crueller for both parties.

Then again, cruelty can be its own reward.  Meh.  I don't have the patience for that flavor, though.



Darkhaven80 -> RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation (11/28/2007 9:20:27 PM)

I don't think it should matter, and it hasn't seemed to with people I've been with, yet usually if I give in too soon I sometimes regret it later and don't feel right. It's fun to build a little anticipation and know the person.



subalexsir -> RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation (11/28/2007 9:58:09 PM)

I have to feel a strong attraction to someone mentally before the physical side can really take off - and when the two are good - boy they are good!!
Just do what feels right and dont bow to pressure to do what feels wrong.



CelticPrince -> RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation (11/30/2007 7:19:02 AM)

lilith,

truely you jest with that question!

CP



NinjaProphet -> RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation (11/30/2007 11:11:33 AM)

There is no such thing as "too soon".........[;)][sm=ofcourse.gif]



Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4]

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.0625