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RE: ????? Detachment? - 10/27/2005 12:24:32 PM

Kasia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire
but still want to know why, does that make sense?

Of course it makes sense. You were hurt (pretty deeply as I understand) and you want to analize situation, perhaps to prevent from being hurt like that again.

Maybe at the time you were too occupied with the crowd or sighseeing to notice some small signs showing your Dom was not feeling too well. He should have told you though.
I can be pretty snappy too when I feel ill, and I dont tell people why, actually I didnt notice it myself until it became sort of pattern.

Still, however egocentric I admit I am, I can "read" people very good - the body talk, look in the eyes, movement of the brows, tone of the voice - that all can tell me in 99% of situations if someone is going to snap. Sometimes I even warn people, tell them to back up or quit whatever they are doing or they will be getting nasty reply.

For what people told you it didnt happen to them, I find it ridicolous. It happens all the time. I can say I witness almost every day at work people snapping at other people to some degree, especially when we have stressfull situations. And some take it quite deeply and feel hurt indeed.

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RE: ????? Detachment? - 10/27/2005 12:32:52 PM

sub4hire

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quote:

and you want to analize situation, perhaps to prevent from being hurt like that again.

Maybe at the time you were too occupied with the crowd or sighseeing to notice some small signs showing your Dom was not feeling too well. He should have told you though.
I can be pretty snappy too when I feel ill, and I dont tell people why, actually I didnt notice it myself until it became sort of pattern.

Well, that happened, geez probably about 5-6 year's ago now. He has never made the same mistake again. He still talks of that day as being a very dark day.
I can read him, finish his sentences. Could back then even. When it comes to his back he doesn't allow you to know much. Especially someone like me. He knows my passions are nature, the outdoors and being physical. So the back is a touchy subject.
He chickened out of back surgery once this year. I don't blame him the doctor didn't exactly prepare him.
Anyway, to summarize though it hasn't happened since the first time year's ago.

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RE: ????? Detachment? - 10/27/2005 1:22:11 PM

Kasia

Posts: 442
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

Well, that happened, geez probably about 5-6 year's ago now.
Anyway, to summarize though it hasn't happened since the first time year's ago.

Then its probably time to forget about it, especially if you are sure it will never happen again - I would say after so much time you can be pretty sure of that.

I would just like to add..... I too had bad back problems some 6-7 yeras ago. Actually my discus slipped, smashed, and pressed nerves in my spine. I couldnt sleep, walk, sit, drive..... life was living hell. As soon as I could I went under surgery and I can tell you that first minute I woke up and felt the pain gone I felt life was worth living again. I got up the third day and was running around hospital next week or so, until they kicked me out

.
I am really recommending operation if there are indications it can help. Did wonders for me.

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RE: ????? Detachment? - 10/27/2005 6:13:04 PM

harmony3709

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolfie648
By the way if anyone ever has the opportunity to go to one of their workshops I would highly recommend it. Before I met them I thought I was the only one who was as extreme as me in my desires and uncomfortable with them. I wondered if I wasn't somehow insane (which I am but not in the psycho sense ;-) and I sure as heck didn't let on in my local community as to my thoughts. Even if it's not a topic you think you are interested in, it will not have been wasted time.

This is off topic, I know, but I was curious as to what you meant by this comment. Do you mean your desire in general to have a Master/slave relationship or was it something specific in that relationship that you thought was extreme? Since whatever was covered in this workshop seemed to have helped you with that issue, I wondered what you meant by that.

Blessed be,
harmony

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RE: ????? Detachment? - 10/27/2005 6:32:13 PM

pinkpleasures

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quote:

So, in general, I think I have enough "warning signs" for almost anyone to notice and back up before I snap. And I do pretty much recognize the same with others..... so I dont recieve much snapping at all.

Kasia

i have a funny story about this...if the reader will bear with me. When i was litigating, i represented the elderly and the poor, but in the capacity as a lawyer for a state agency. It was shocking to me the manner in which Division Directors and others sought to evade involvement in my cases inasmuch as possible political ramifications might occur. i also used to have terrible pms. Occassionally i'd go see my supervisor -- a truely great man -- and say "i'm gonna kill Joe with my bare hands; but maybe i'm just getting my period, so let's see what happens." And my boss would sit there like a buddha and say nothing..and in a few days (most times) i'd return and say "ok, Joe can live; it was my period" and again my boss would be buddha-like. i think he was amused as hell but never showed it.

pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 10/27/2005 6:33:41 PM >

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RE: ????? Detachment? - 10/28/2005 4:20:16 AM

ExistentialSteel

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Let me be the first to give an LOL to that. Your boss had to practice zen to deal with you, I bet. Smile.

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RE: ????? Detachment? - 10/28/2005 9:24:29 AM

Soulhuntre

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kasia

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire
but still want to know why, does that make sense?

Of course it makes sense. You were hurt (pretty deeply as I understand) and you want to analize situation, perhaps to prevent from being hurt like that again.

I think analyzing the situation is a good idea - but I must admit that my analysis would focus on a totally different aspect. There is no offense intended here, and as always things are more complex than they seem on message forums :)

What struck me was how pervasive and long lasting the effects of what was, in reality, a fairly minor rebuff were. Now, it is a given that the typ of service I deal with and the training that goes along with it is much less forgiving of emotional drama than many - so I am sure that is a factor. I just was looking at it thinking that for someone in my service to be disoriented or have issues for hours over something that slight woudl to me be a sign that she / he was probably not going to function well in service - ot specifically in the type of service I expect and teach.

I guess I am just the heartless bastard it says on my Christmas stocking :)

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