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introduction - 11/18/2007 9:36:40 PM

backinthesaddle

Posts: 15
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline

after spending some time on collarme it seems like for the most part the subs have to contact the Doms. and i was wondering why that was the case. i do understand that as a man i should make the first move but i think if a Dom woman knows what she wants she will go after it, also some Dommes are picky (which of course they deserve) so it seems that they should make the first introduction...any thoughts?

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RE: introduction - 11/19/2007 12:54:26 AM

beeble

Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

backinthesaddle wrote: i do understand that as a man i should make the first move

o/~ It ain't necessarily so. o/~

(in reply to backinthesaddle)

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RE: introduction - 11/19/2007 5:08:24 AM

ItalianSMistress

Posts: 427
Joined: 1/19/2007
From: Niagara Region Ontario Canada
Status: offline

Well, in My opinon, there is two things. First off, as a Domme, I spend enough time checking message from slaves, I dont need to spend time seeking more. Secondly, being the slave, should it not be you doing the work to convince Me that you are worthy of My time? Should it not be you doing the work to find Me? I have never, in 13 years, searched for a slave, it simply is their job to interest Me.

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"Dominance is the ability to create a hunger in someone that's so strong they will do anything, anytime, anywhere just to please you."

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(in reply to beeble)

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RE: introduction - 11/19/2007 5:54:57 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

While I'm not looking, when I was - if I saw a sub's profile that impressed me and was interesting to me, I wouldn't have any problem making the first move in contacting them.

But therein lies the problem - few male sub profiles online catch my attention. Just being male and labeling oneself submissive isn't enough.

Realistically - your own profile sucks. One line saying "let's chat" tells me nothing about you, and doesn't give me anything to perk my interest. So guess who gets my attention? The guys that are out there working to get it - and there's always ones that are willing to do so.

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Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to ItalianSMistress)

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RE: introduction - 11/19/2007 1:00:46 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I write to subs that interest me all the time, IF they have something in their profile for me to connect with. First, I look at the pic, to see what their expression is like, then I look at the words. If there's nothing concrete to go on, I move along to the next one. Vague poetical descriptions of dream submission and "doing anything to please the mistress" are just as uninteresting as one-liners.

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(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

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RE: introduction - 11/19/2007 6:36:55 PM

backinthesaddle

Posts: 15
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline

thank you ladies,
i will work on my profile:)

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

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RE: introduction - 11/20/2007 6:28:30 PM

backinthesaddle

Posts: 15
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline

how is my profile now?

(in reply to backinthesaddle)

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RE: introduction - 11/20/2007 6:41:07 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

Fast reply:

Standard disclaimers of the IMO/YMMV variety apply.

I'm perfectly willing to initiate contact with a sub. In fact, I've contacted several in the short time I've been a member. However, I've only had a scant handful of suitable subs contact me. This doesn't include the many males who clearly have not bothered to read my profile, but they're irrelevant so I don't count them. From the majority of profiles I've read so far, it's the s-types who expect the Dominants to contact them and pursuade them that they should talk to us. I don't think either perspective is completely accurate.

(in reply to backinthesaddle)

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Post #: 8

RE: introduction - 11/21/2007 3:51:23 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Your profile is better and just so that you know, female dominants have the same problem with male (and female) subs/slaves... we don't generally get so much as a "no thank you" either. Personally, I try to answer all of my emails... with the exception of the ones that are rude or crude.

Jewel

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(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

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Post #: 9

RE: introduction - 11/21/2007 7:47:28 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

It's more a matter of who is more anxious to make contact.

I'm not actively looking at this time so the only notes I send are if I want to say "That was a great post" to someone.

If I were actively looking I'd look first at my local community and talk to people at munches or workshops before I'd send out a note via Collarme. Second I'd only contact people I thought were within easy traveling distance.

Therefore the number of potential people I might send a note to if I were actively looking is small.

Someone else without such a strict criteria would send out more emails.

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Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to backinthesaddle)

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Post #: 10

RE: introduction - 11/21/2007 9:03:20 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

Hi there.

I just gave a bit of profile advice here http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=1424115 - much of it applies to your profile as well.

Beyond that, rest assured that most male dominants are expected to make first contact; it's not a dominant/submissive dynamic, it's a male/female dynamic. The fact is that men are more aggressive about seeking relationships than women are, and the computer is a tool that can be used for forming such relationships. I'll let you in on a secret though...(looking around to make sure there's no women listening...)

(Women like to use message boards. It's a place for them to talk about their feelings! If you really want to meet one, stick to these message boards and actually take the time to establish friendships!)

Good luck,

Stephan

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Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to thetammyjo)