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New to this and need advice!!! - 11/19/2007 12:40:14 PM

RainbowLips25

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/17/2007
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Me and my husband are a new couple who are just starting out on this S&M adventure. He is a Dom and I am a Sub. However I would like a pet girl. Someone me and my husband can share but she will be owned mainly by me. I want to take care of her (brush her hair, pamper her, fullfill her needs and desires ect...) and be her Dom at the same time. My husband would be Master to us both. Is there a special term for this kind of relationship? What if any advice do you have for us?

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RE: New to this and need advice!!! - 11/19/2007 1:12:29 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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As far as relationship word, most call it a Triad. As far as the Ds dynamic, it varies. Some would say that you are the alpha slave, so she answers to you and your Master. Some would say that it's a switch dynamic and she only answers to your Master if that's what agreed upon. Doesn't really matter what you call it as long as you can make it work.

Master Fire

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RE: New to this and need advice!!! - 11/19/2007 2:31:27 PM

MystressDream

Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RainbowLips25

Me and my husband are a new couple who are just starting out on this S&M adventure. He is a Dom and I am a Sub. However I would like a pet girl. Someone me and my husband can share but she will be owned mainly by me. I want to take care of her (brush her hair, pamper her, fullfill her needs and desires ect...) and be her Dom at the same time. My husband would be Master to us both. Is there a special term for this kind of relationship? What if any advice do you have for us?

You are "new" and "just starting out on this S&M adventure? If you are new to all of this, I would advise you to study, learn and grow within it before bringing a third person into the picture. If you are, however, experienced in this type of lifestyle and are just wanting to expand it to a third person, then I concur with what MasterFireMaam has said.

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RE: New to this and need advice!!! - 11/19/2007 10:23:54 PM

Valyraen

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Joined: 2/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MystressDream
You are "new" and "just starting out on this S&M adventure? If you are new to all of this, I would advise you to study, learn and grow within it before bringing a third person into the picture. If you are, however, experienced in this type of lifestyle and are just wanting to expand it to a third person, then I concur with what MasterFireMaam has said.

I second this suggestion so hard that you have no idea. Aqua and I have been together for over two years now, officially d/s for just about a year, and living together for a year, and we've only just been seriously considering the possibility of finding her a girlfriend. A third person can drive an irreparable wedge into an unprepared relationship, or it can bring three people together in incredibly strong bonds. BDSM has a way of pulling out aspects of yourself that you'd rather not share and thrusting them naked and screaming into the spotlight - before you consider adding another person into what is already going to be a more complicated situation, you both need to be secure in your relationship and one another.

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RE: New to this and need advice!!! - 11/19/2007 11:15:01 PM

Estring

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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Well the fact that you are the one who is wanting the pet may make your odds of it working a little better. But I would agree with the others to get your primary relationship off the ground first.
Why not find play partners and see how it goes before making something permanent?

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