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sammy7626 -> RE: A milestone and another step to take. (11/20/2007 11:11:17 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
Kyra, Alandra and I have just past three years from the time we first came across each other online. For about six months we interacted online and spent alot of time on the phone before we met in person. By the time we met are desire to build a life long relationship was very intense but yet no commitment or even discussion of this possibility occurred until after we actually touched in the flesh. But, from the very first time we met, there was a deep seeded desire to be in each others life. For the past two and half years we have been putting this relationship as a priority in our lives. We have spent countless amounts of our time together with phone, web cam and every holiday and weekend get away possible. In the past two and half years we been physically together about 4-5 months in that time. About 14 months ago we took another of many steps in our relationship with Kyra submitting her application for Immigration into Canada. Long before making the applications we considered the risks, costs and the time that it would take to recieve an answer. In many ways it has been a stressful time. But it has also been extremely rewarding and bonding experience for the three of us.
Today we have received official notice that Kyra's application for immigration into Canada has been Approved!
As much as we are excited and relieved with this news I am looking to the next step. Even before the official answer was received steps have been taken to bring Kyra home, but this to me is just apart of the same step of her application. To me the next step is the transition from living a long-distance relationship to one that is face to face.
So.. besides sharing a Milestone achieved..... I am looking to start a dialogue on other peoples experiences with regards to moving into together. What did you find that was challenging and what did you find fantastic. What do you think you did right and what would you do differently.
congratulations!
As for moving in together...it can be complicated, and it can be wonderful. I suppose it all depends on how you feel on any given day. Our situation here is quite a bit different from yours, but I'll try to give you some general things.
You realize quite quickly just how much space you are used to having once it is gone. Make sure that everyone has a place within your home that they can call their own, even if its just a favorite chair and side table. Some place to go where if they really need to be alone, they can be there and know that they won't be intruded on until they are ready.
Combining households is complicated. We are currently sifting (2 plus years later, 5 years later in some cases) through a grand total of 4 households worth of stuff. We have 3 desktops, 3 laptops, 7 televisions, 4 DVD players, extra sofa's, extra tables...boxes of things in storage. It would probably behoove you to get a storage place for a while. Anything you think you can do without, put it in a box in storage, if you haven't looked for it in 6 months, its probably safe to get rid of it.
People's quirks and habits that are cute when you live apart, can quickly become annoyances.
The one thing I can think of that is sometimes an issue for us, that may or may not be an issue for you all...are sleeping arrangements. You and Alandra have been living together for quite some time. Its not my business who sleeps with whom, but if you are all going to be sleeping together once Kyra moves in...i would recommend having some "alone" nights for you and Alandra thrown in every once in a while. If the goal is for all of you to always sleep together...start out with a 3 or 4 a week, and gradually reduce the number. Because while mentally it is easy to say "I love her she's my sister..." sometimes the heart and the body miss the privacy and intimacy of being alone, and having to give that up cold turkey can hurt like hell and create an emo roller coaster that is no fun for anyone.
I wish you all the love and luck in the future. I'm sure you guys won't have too many issues.
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