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An IQ Slightly Below Room Temperature !!!


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An IQ Slightly Below Room Temperature !!! - 11/21/2007 10:25:49 PM   
muffdiverelite


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This is said to be a true story from the a major word processor software producer’s helpline. Supposedly, the help desk employee was fired; however, he is currently suing the organization for “Termination without Cause”.  Actual dialogue of a former Customer Support employee:
“Customer Support Desk, may I help you?”
“Yes, well, I’m having trouble with your word processor software.”
“What sort of trouble?”
“Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”
“Went away?”
“They disappeared.”
“Hmm.  So what does your screen look like now?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”
“Are you still in the program, or did you get out?”
“How do I tell?”
“Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?”
“What’s a C: prompt?”
“Never mind.  Can you move the cursor around on the screen?”
“There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”
“Does your monitor have a power indicator?”
“What’s a monitor?”
“It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.  Can you see that?”
“Yes, I think so.”
“Great.  Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.”
“.......Yes, it is.”
“When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”
“No.”
“Well, there are.  I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
“.......  Okay, here it is.”
“Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
“I can’t reach.”
“Uh huh.  Well, can you see if it is?”
“No.”
“Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”
“Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle - it’s because it’s dark.”
“Dark?”
“Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
“Well, turn on the office light then.”
“I can’t.”
“No?  Why not?”
“Because there’s a power outage.”
“A power outage ???  Aha !!! Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”
“Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”
“Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it.  Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”
“Really?  Is it that bad?”
“Oh, yes, I’m afraid it is.”
“Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”
“Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer.”
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RE: An IQ Slightly Below Room Temperature !!! - 11/21/2007 10:42:24 PM   
CuriousLord


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He did offer sound advice.

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RE: An IQ Slightly Below Room Temperature !!! - 11/21/2007 10:47:43 PM   
nyrisa


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Ah, the memories this brings back. Of when I was a nurse, on one of those telephone triage Ask-A-Nurse call centers, and parents would call in about a baby. Pretty much the same type of scenario.

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RE: An IQ Slightly Below Room Temperature !!! - 11/21/2007 11:06:14 PM   
ItalianSMistress


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I read this somewhere before and was looking for it to post here, LOL, so glad you did

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RE: An IQ Slightly Below Room Temperature !!! - 11/22/2007 12:31:56 AM   
MadameDahlia


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I wonder if that's the same person who broke their "coffee holder"... you know... "the little plastic thingy that slides out when you push a button".




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RE: An IQ Slightly Below Room Temperature !!! - 11/26/2007 12:36:37 PM   
philosophy


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...a friend of mine who ran a help desk back in the day told me he had a surprising number of people who couldn't find the 'any' key........

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RE: An IQ Slightly Below Room Temperature !!! - 11/26/2007 12:47:32 PM   
SeeksOnlyOne


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameDahlia

I wonder if that's the same person who broke their "coffee holder"... you know... "the little plastic thingy that slides out when you push a button".





damn i wondered what that was for-and they say ya dont learn stuff here

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RE: An IQ Slightly Below Room Temperature !!! - 11/26/2007 2:35:00 PM   
s661055


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quote:

ORIGINAL: philosophy
...a friend of mine who ran a help desk back in the day told me he had a surprising number of people who couldn't find the 'any' key........


Couldn't add a picture so you'll get it as a link..
http://img510.imageshack.us/img510/254/pic0703go3.jpg

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RE: An IQ Slightly Below Room Temperature !!! - 11/26/2007 5:37:32 PM   
forg0ttenclone


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I've certainly encountered more than my fair share of people when it comes to computer assistance.  However; i would have to say the one that takes the cake would be the middle aged woman unable to find the "My Computer" icon on her desktop.  I asked her to locate the My Computer icon located on her desktop.  This was followed by a good 1.5-2minutes of what sounded like papers rustling and stuff being moved.  I then asked her "Ma'am, what's all the noise in the background?"  Her response nearly crippled me in laughter.  "Well, i'm trying to clean the stuff off of my desktop to find the My Computer icon."


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RE: An IQ Slightly Below Room Temperature !!! - 11/26/2007 6:27:57 PM   
Saratov


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It's amazing what those folks in india/pakistan will tell ya'.

So, forg0ttenclone what was it like working over there?

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RE: An IQ Slightly Below Room Temperature !!! - 11/26/2007 7:16:47 PM   
MamaDomme


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I actually have had some calls almost that bad!

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RE: An IQ Slightly Below Room Temperature !!! - 11/27/2007 7:21:38 AM   
forg0ttenclone


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I stuck out like a sore thumb.  But i could fake the accent.  Something tells me even still, i couldn't pass as a native. 

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"I have fallen to my knees unable to rise, what kind of trap is this? What kind of chains have tied my hands and feet? It is so strange, so wonderful this helplessness of mine!"

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RE: An IQ Slightly Below Room Temperature !!! - 11/27/2007 7:28:00 AM   
denouement


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That story has been around since what seems like the beginning of time -- certainly 10 years.

It's on the Urban Legend page for 10 years, so it has to be even older.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/business/wordperfect.asp

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RE: An IQ Slightly Below Room Temperature !!! - 11/27/2007 8:01:45 AM   
forg0ttenclone


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Absolutely it has.  I received that email a good ten years or so ago back when i still had AOL dial up. <cringe>  Even still, it's just as funny today as it was then.  Only because i've dealt with those same kinds people throughout my career in I.T.

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"I have fallen to my knees unable to rise, what kind of trap is this? What kind of chains have tied my hands and feet? It is so strange, so wonderful this helplessness of mine!"

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RE: An IQ Slightly Below Room Temperature !!! - 11/27/2007 4:27:09 PM   
laurell3


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quote:

ORIGINAL: s661055

quote:

ORIGINAL: philosophy
...a friend of mine who ran a help desk back in the day told me he had a surprising number of people who couldn't find the 'any' key........


Couldn't add a picture so you'll get it as a link..
http://img510.imageshack.us/img510/254/pic0703go3.jpg



ROFL now that's hilarious

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RE: An IQ Slightly Below Room Temperature !!! - 11/29/2007 8:30:22 PM   
Muttling


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I HATE the new computer systems.    We haven't had the dreaded Turbo Button virus for nearly a decade.

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RE: An IQ Slightly Below Room Temperature !!! - 11/30/2007 9:26:52 AM   
LadyLynx


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I used to work for Big Lots, (the same company who owns Odd Lots and various other chain stores.  and who remembers when Big Lots/Odd Lots used to be a automative parts store?) anyways we had a policy about no rain checks. EVER. No exeptions/excuses.  So during the Ad part of the week, (which was sunday thru wednesday.) We had a AdMap posted in front, with all the items labled as to where they are/if we didn't get them in and so on. (like what aisle Endcap.)  On the items we didn't recieve or ran out, at least once a day we would get a customer asking for a rain check.  Now I am a pretty easy going person, and if the customer was new, or didn't shop there much I can understand, but half of the people asking were people that had been coming there for years! (I was there for almost 10 years.)  lol.  just so you know, I didn't say anything like that to them, would of been pretty rude.  but it was one of my favorite complaints to co-workers.

Now in general we all have had our stupid moments.  But I got to say there are definately quite a few people that shouldn't reproduce. 

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RE: An IQ Slightly Below Room Temperature !!! - 11/30/2007 9:46:02 AM   
EPGAH


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I have 5 IT horror stories to share:
#1.) Customer's kid had stuck a credit-card into the floppy-drive. I replaced the drive, just to get the computer working, but it took me almost 10 minutes to take the other drive apart to the point I could get his credit-card out! The drive was completely ruined. The child in question was 3, so the parent should have known better than to give a credit-card to a child too young to use it responsibly!
#2.) Customer piled THREE CDs into a CD-ROM drive at the same time! The "tray" part of the drive broke off, and the top CD shattered...I replaced the drive, but I couldn't do anything about the software!
#3.) "Inspired" by a recent TWIX commercial, a customer smeared peanut-butter all over the CD-tray, and the drive wouldn't open after that...I replaced the drive, and cautioned them NOT to mimic what they see on TV!
#4.) Customer had JUST bought Diablo II, and put it in the drive...it melted, because he'd been using the computer for FOUR DAYS STRAIGHT! (This was back when computers put out a lot of heat--and CD drives STILL put out a lot of heat!) Replaced the CD Drive, he got a replacement for the game, and then he put the CD in and it shattered! (He had put it in crooked, not letting it "settle" into the indentation in the tray, but I couldn't convince him of that!) He took the game back, taking it as a "sign from above" that he shouldn't play Diablo II! (Full disclosure: I've had the game for YEARS, even though I don't play it much anymore, and have never had any such problems!)
#5.) ONE customer needed her computer reformatted EIGHT times, because she kept accepting E-Mails from her local church, that had virii in them! She kept claiming it should be safe, because it was from the church, after all. However, after #4, I think that religion and silicon don't mix...She finally stopped accepting E-Mails from the church, and I lost a good revenue-stream, but was glad of it, she could start saving the money up toward a better computer and if she felt guilty, tithe more, etc.!

God has a sense of humor, but why does it seem like a massively overbudget version of Candid Camera?

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RE: An IQ Slightly Below Room Temperature !!! - 12/3/2007 9:12:09 PM   
logicswitch


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A friend of mine worked in IT at my university, and told the following story. One guy couldn't figure out why his programs kept getting erased from his floppy disk, so she finally had to go over there. Turns out he was sticking it to the side of the computer with a magnet.

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RE: An IQ Slightly Below Room Temperature !!! - 12/4/2007 8:23:02 AM   
freyjasdottir


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Where I used to work we did actually have a guy call the help desk because his computer died when the power went off, I think everyone in the office heard the tech girl scream "ARE YOU A COMPLETE IDIOT?"  He quit the next day.

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