RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you......

I am sorry if it sounded like I was saying that not reporting a crime is an equal crime to the act. What I ment was that if you know someone commited an offense and that person is being 'searched for' - and you know who did it, (you was there, saw the crime, witness etc) you can be held in contempt or as an accessory to the fact - at least in the UK - if the prosecutors decide. For example - if you was in the car during a hit and run etc and you leave the scene.

If say - you buy a pocket watch for example and buy it knowing it is stolen - you can be charged as an accessory. If you buy the watch unknowingly you wouldnt be liable for the loss to the victim, but the courts have the right to take the said item and return it to the owner - so saying you didnt know wouldnt mean you get to keep the item - if that makes sense.

As you rightly say - it does differ from country to country and in the US - state to state.

Peace and Love

I was merely using your analagy from further up the thread to Gentle Lady - and giving examples of the law as I have been advised. Of course, this varies from (in your case) state to state.
Personally, I don't believe that adultery belongs with the law - but I do believe, as I said before, If one is mature enough to commit adultery then one should be mature enough to accept that the action you take may cause others harm and upset. Claiming that its 'none of ones business' because of either a seperation from some of the facts or because its between a 'man and his wife' is silly. Of course it is your business, because you decided to get involved. It isnt anyone elses business what you or he do, however - unless yu decide to pull other people into the mix.

My best friend had an affair with my other best friend. They wanted to meet at my house when it came to the point of her leaving her husband, so they could discuss some stuff. They wanted me to babysit her children.
Nope - not me. When I heard, I told her that she was to either take the children with her or tell her husband, or get someone else to do it.
Why? - Not because of the affair. They fell in love - the marriage wasnt working - so thats their choice. I would support her all the way. But because how on earth could she ever trust me 100% ever again, if she knew I would lie/with hold truths from anyone - for anything?

In any life, let alone wiitwd, trust is something that can't be ignored and thrown away. And anyone who ignores their responsibilty of trust, needs to think really carefully about that, above anything else.

Peace and Love

I think this is the crux.

Your completely right - people break the law all the time. And adultary isnt a law stance, its not even a moral one. What people do behind their own doors is their business. In the case of an affair - that means all three have responsibility to each other.

What it comes down to is responsibility and trust.
You can't ignore either.

Peace and Love

Exactly - you can't avoid effecting someone else.
So - if people are mature enough and old enough to act - they should accept that their action causes a result.
To say they take no blame, or that their action doesn't mean anything is such an alien concept to me.

Peace and Love

O Lam..i should have recognized it as Yours.

pinkpleasures (a certified Lam-admirer)

Sir, many/most states have passed legislation, holding a bar owner and possibly a bartender liable for serving alcohol to someone who is legally drunk and subsequently causes harm or is harmed himself. Whether this has ever been criminalized i don't know; i do know a liquor license may be jeopradised. i'm sure You could find all You cared to know on the Mothers Against Drunk Drivers website.

Back to the topic: here's my two cents' worth. The husband is usually despicable, lying to his wife about cheating and lying to the other woman about his intentions to divorce his wife. Both women are living in a state of denial and this situation is generally ended by one of the women, not the husband.

That does not absolve the other woman. Setting aside poly and open marriage people, the other woman is f**king a married man; she is complicit in hiding that from his wife; she is wasting herself on a man about whom the one thing she knows for sure is that he cheats and lies.

When there are minor children in the mix, the other woman's conduct sinks even lower. Maybe he would cheat anyway; maybe he would get divorced after his wife is fed up anyway; but she does not have to facilitate the deterioration of a couple's marriage. Difficult as it is (and married men are masterful manipulators out of necessity) she has an obligation to stop the denial and tell the husband to leave her alone.

pinkpleasures

I tend to think that there is a differnece between knowing what might happen, and the obvious that will happen. But nonetheless, there is still a responsibility. Of course ultimately one is responsible for oneself only, but to deny effects is to blinker one from reality.

As for the scenario - personally I dont place blame, it isnt my place to do such. But I do believe in the living of the moment. Doesnt mean that the future is redundant but should not people still always be aware that each action equals a consequence?

Peace and Love

Holy s**t --i agree with something Taggart said. The tobacco litigation was based on a claim for damages that was blantantly unconstitutional and the judges looked the other way...they should have all been hauled up for judicial misconduct in my opinion. Now some states are looking to repeat the trick to sue gun manufacturers. i guess this is some new form of taxation. States won't need to struggle to balance their budgets; they'll just sue some portion of the market economy with money and a bad public image and pay for things like education and prisions with the proceeds of the suits.

i think it is un-democratic; private property should not be commandered to support states' funding needs.

pinkpleasures

i made suggestions to thelight for the sake of the children, who might be kidnapped. i hope i emphazied enough his friend needs to see an attorney.

pinkpleasures

caitlyn, in my 50's i can only tell you that no married man who was honest with me has made a pass at me. Your instincts are right on the money.

pinkpleasures

caitlyn, lately i have been asking men pursuing me to call me in the evening at a particular time. Married men cannot keep such promises because their wives are home. Seems to weed out at least some married men. Beware of giving out your home phone number if it's listed; get a cell instead.

pinkpleasures