RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant?

RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? (Full Version)

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stella41b -> RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? (11/22/2007 4:57:10 PM)
I speak for myself here. You don't even have to be a Dominant to gain my submission. My submission is a gift which I'm happy to bestow on anyone who needs it without any thought of return. I'm a lifestyle submissive, irrespective of whether it's connected with BDSM or not. Submission is my way of giving to people, to the world, through service and sharing my skills, abilities, talents and knowledge. I don't need anything from a Dominant, or anyone else for that matter. I love people in general. That love I feel for people cannot be defined by the common English connotation of the word 'love', the romantic, sexual close personal love.. love for me is much much more.. it is kindness, it is warmth, it is understanding, it is tolerance, acceptance, it is taking someone at face value, trying to understand someone in their terms and looking at the world through their eyes, it is sacrifice, it is giving, it is submission. What I have I give freely, with no thought of return. I love myself, I love God and love other people, I have everything I need in life. I have a Mistress. She came to me through this website. I saw that she was looking for a slave. I offered to be her slave. She has accepted my offer to become her slave. She has my feelings. She has my love. I am working to become her female slave. I give freely of myself. I am a slave. Her slave. This is how I am living. I have no wish to consider my own needs, I offered the sacrifice of abandoning all thought of my own needs in my offer of submission to devote my whole life to fulfill her needs, her requirements, her wishes and her dreams. She accepted that offer. Will she love me? I cannot say, this is just my dream, not all dreams become reality, she is not under any obligation to fulfill my dreams. It may happen. It may not. This doesn't concern me. All that concerns me at this point in time is becoming her female slave, the one she has wanted all through her life. This is my mission.

Einzelganger -> RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? (11/23/2007 12:38:24 AM)
Yes, I do...and I must. Then again, I always was a hopeless romantic. Most of us need to love someone, and I feel that it makes the most sense for me to be in a relationship where I love my Domme. Also, I feel that a loving relationship between a sub and a Dom/me is of the most beautiful type. Just my $0.02... -Einzelgänger

hurricane67 -> RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? (11/23/2007 2:19:34 AM)
"My question to submissives is, do you have to, or even want to, love your Dominant?" In the beginning, there has to be at least the possibility of love. I would avoid someone who did not want a love relationship. And yes, i want to. "Does it make it easier to serve him/her and to want to make him/her happy, or does it complicate things more than it's worth, or is it just not relevant at all?" I would work much harder and have far fewer limits for someone with whom I had mutual love.

eyesopened -> RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? (11/23/2007 3:04:37 AM)
In a word, No. my first Dominant and i had no romantic feelings for each other at all although we genuinly *liked* each other and remain friendly to this day. For me, the respect and trust i had in Him helped me to learn a lot in a short period of time. i know if i had tried to mix romance into the relationship it would have been a bad thing, would have become frustrating because we just didn't fit as a couple but fit extremely well as Dominant/submissive. Our relationship was strictly BDSM with a D/s thrown in. i think i needed a period of time to experience various aspects of my submission without a lot of confusing emotion thrown in. i have only felt romantic love toward two of my Dominants yet i have never been in a relationship where i felt unfilfilled in my submission. Relationships work when the relationship goals are shared. Period. Of the two i have loved, one is my Master now and i love Him with all my heart. This love adds a deeper level to my submission and He calls me 'slave' which i find is a good place for me. But i don't see my pervious experiences as being lessor, just relationships with different goals than i now have.

vampchick88 -> RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? (11/23/2007 4:42:54 AM)
Its not a MUST...but I've found that my slave loves me to bits and there isnt anything he would not do for me. In my situation love really helps, it creates more of a trust, more willing to try new things, much more melt-ier and deeper subspace. I've seen situations where the Dominant and sub/slave lived happily with whatever they were into and there was no love involved.

wisteriaV -> RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? (11/23/2007 5:50:13 AM)
Yes I love Vanatru my Master. I have from the first time I saw and and I will til the day he dies. There is something magical about him.

grlneedstolearn -> RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? (11/23/2007 10:05:03 AM)
To answer your first question, no i do not want to love or even have to love him for both of us to be happy and content. i enjoy his company as a friend and as my Dom only, there is nothing romantic involved between us. And for your second question, i'm happy that i'm learning and pleasing him.

Zarine -> RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? (11/23/2007 10:14:42 AM)
I personally don't go looking for any sort of BDSM relationship with someone that I don't have feelings for. I don't believe in having mindless relationships. Like any person in a vanilla relationship I want a loving lasting relationship that will (hopefully) turn into something more later on.

slavekal -> RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? (11/23/2007 10:47:46 AM)
It makes things much better/deeper for me.

rainasmiles -> RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? (11/23/2007 10:58:53 AM)
I personally couldn't even consider being with someone who didn't own me and I couldn't consider being owned by someone I didn't love, nor could I be owned by someone who wasn't capable of loving me back. For me everything else is empty if the love is not there.

magicone -> RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? (11/23/2007 11:51:39 AM)
fo me simple.. yes i have to.. yes i want to... yes i need to.... and i often do ask myself too does a Master/ Dom loves his sub/slave.. asking this in a more romantic, LTR way.. .. and often heard from Masters/ Doms.. no, cause it seems like they will loose control??

rawkmehard -> RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? (11/23/2007 11:58:39 AM)
i want to find a Dominant i can love, who will return that love. i'd prefer it be love of equal capacity, and accept that it may manifest in ways i don't initally expect. time is really the only solid indicator for me.

tanzur -> RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? (11/23/2007 12:01:34 PM)
Hello Blaakmaan I don’t need to love the person that I am with; I do however have to have some affection for him/her. I don’t require that the affection deepen with time; but it has to be there to begin with. Enjoy your day carrie

chastiseme -> RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? (11/23/2007 12:33:06 PM)
i think that it depends on the relationship you have with your Dom/me ... now this is just my opinion but if it's a longterm relationship that you have with your Dom/me then i think that having some deeper feelings for each other would make things much better in the relationship and it would make the relationship more enjoyable for both. but if the relationship is strictly service based, like for example you're just the houseboy/girl then i don't think there needs to be emotional connection there. Just my .02 mike

kittengirl8 -> RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? (11/23/2007 1:01:12 PM)
For me, if it's just a short-term Dominant, love isn't a necessity, but i do have to have a general enjoyment of their presence. However, for a long-term Master or Dominant, love is very important to me. Call me old-fashioned, but i would like to be able to just whisper "i love You" whenever i wanted, without getting completely silence in return. Or worse "Uh... thank you?". Yeah. But that's probably because love has always been a very important factor in my life, love is something i've grown up with, and i'm certain i couldn't be in a real relationship without love...

Bethnai -> RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? (11/23/2007 3:49:16 PM)
I don't have a lot to compare. When I started I thought love isn't necessary, then I fell in love and now, I think its necessary.

adoracat -> RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? (11/23/2007 3:50:14 PM)
for me, yes, i need to love my domiant. i do love my Daddy...wildly madly passionately he knows this, and is glad of it, and loves me equally in return. kitten, who misses him very much right now...

Littlepita -> RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? (11/23/2007 4:03:45 PM)
Yes, I have to. Yes, I want to.

JerseyGirl1974 -> RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? (11/23/2007 6:30:02 PM)
i do not need to love my Dom; but i do need to love my Master

dawndewdropbaby -> RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? (11/23/2007 7:11:05 PM)
No I don't have to, it makes me less emotional and attached if I don't...which is a good thing for me.

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