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trusting -> Online (11/24/2007 12:28:54 AM)

i would like to know the interest some Doms have in online Domination? 

Why do some prefer this over the 'real' thing and how would He know that the sub is actually submitting to Him?



sexyred1 -> RE: Online (11/24/2007 12:32:02 AM)

I think if someone is only into online, they are either:

-not serious about it
-serious but unable to do anything about i.e. married or involved and unable or unwilling to go outside the relationship
-a teenager playing games
-insecure and afraid to venture into real life
-just someone who enjoys getting off online with someone

As far as how do they know the sub is submitting...they don't. It is all imaginary.

Of course, someone else can come along and tell you that one can dominate someone online and have it be real and perhaps that is real for them, but for me, I could only submit to someone in real life after I have met them and spent time with them.



Manawyddan -> RE: Online (11/24/2007 4:47:41 AM)

I agree. I have had quite emotionally intense conversations with people online, who are too far geographically to make personal meetings convenient. Sometimes there have been heavy elements of D/s in these relationships. But ... I've never deluded myself into thinking this is a 'real D/s relationship,' and if the sub I were talking to did, I would cease to take her seriously.



southernhart -> RE: Online (11/24/2007 4:57:06 AM)

i met a submissive once who had on line Masters. She pretended to do what she was told, but did none of it.
Before my Owner and i met in person we correspondended by E-mail and telephone. It would never occur to me to not do what he asked whether he was there or not. That would be dishonest and i never want him to be unable to trust me, besides the guilt would eat at me.



Qithoras -> RE: Online (11/24/2007 6:07:32 AM)

quote:

i would like to know the interest some Doms have in online Domination? 


I don't have any interest myself in 'Online Domination', in part or in full. If a person is only interested in online Domination, then they're playing a game, plain and simple. Might as well break out the D20's.

While the online medium can be an effective form for meeting people, discussing ideas and learning, it is just a medium.
I myself use the internet to meet people, to get to know them - to an extent - however no matter how perfect the person I'd met online seemed to be, I wouldn't commit to anything till we'd met in person, and gone on a drunkern karaoke crawl (Or similar.. I enjoy karaoke [;)])

quote:

Why do some prefer this over the 'real' thing and how would He know that the sub is actually submitting to Him?


Because they generally live in a fantasy world, devoid of reality. And the sub isn't really submitting, just playing the game, same as he.

My $0.02




SimplyMichael -> RE: Online (11/24/2007 6:26:52 AM)

I think online provides an unintended level of emotional intensity because the participants input much of their "fantasy" onto the other partner to "create" the parts you can't experience online.  So online partners can easily seem far more perfect than anyone you meet in real life because there are flaws you only learn about by living/being with someone on a 24/7 basiss.

That said, you can do D/s and BDSM online if you have the talent and creativity to make it work.   With todays hi-speed internet the things you can do with cameras and cell phones provide lots and lots of possibilities.  Not just that but you can control a multitude of things about a person if you are creative.



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Online (11/24/2007 9:23:26 AM)

speaking from experience - Daddy and i have an online relationship.

and the naysayers:
NO it's not a fantasy
NO He's not married
NO it's not a game
NO He's not secure into having a real time relationship
NO He's NOT a HNG

this was something we both agreed upon when we first met. we are completely happy in our loving, nonsexual relationship as Daddydaughter. i don't need to physically touch Him to feel His love because i know i'm loved every single day. sex isn't the foundation of this relationship - it's built on trust, friendship and common interest.  we took the time to learn and discover each other before moving into our D/s dynamic. i don't pretend with my submission with Him either. my collars are real - not velcro fakes.  with my SO, it will be real time in August. 

the problem i see with those who have realtime is their condoning attitude that rt is the "twue" way in BDSM and online is merely a fantasy. what a crack of shit! there's no twue way of anything just small mindedness on their part. you're entitled to your opinion yet respect the relationship whether it's online or rt.




angelic -> RE: Online (11/24/2007 9:35:59 AM)

My last relationship was probably 60/40.  60% online 40% r/l.  He had no doubt that i was submitting to him.  It may be because the relationship was r/l, therefore, he had r/l experience that i was submitting to him. 

i am one that firmly believes in getting to know someone online first. There are certain red flags that i watch for, nowadays.  Nope they are not fail-proof, but they have served me. 

However, i cannot see myself serving someone only online.  i need to see their eyes.   



breatheasone -> RE: Online (11/24/2007 9:53:28 AM)



quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

My last relationship was probably 60/40.  60% online 40% r/l.  He had no doubt that i was submitting to him.  It may be because the relationship was r/l, therefore, he had r/l experience that i was submitting to him. 

i am one that firmly believes in getting to know someone online first. There are certain red flags that i watch for.  Nope they are not fail-proof, but they have served me. 

However, i cannot see myself serving someone only online.  i need to see their eyes.   

I would say my relationship with my Master is about 70/30...or maybe even 80/20......online/phone/txt, versus real time....its very difficult ....I personally wouldn't do a 100% online relationship though.



ItalianSMistress -> RE: Online (11/24/2007 10:24:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I think if someone is only into online, they are either:

-not serious about it
-serious but unable to do anything about i.e. married or involved and unable or unwilling to go outside the relationship
-a teenager playing games
-insecure and afraid to venture into real life
-just someone who enjoys getting off online with someone

As far as how do they know the sub is submitting...they don't. It is all imaginary.

Of course, someone else can come along and tell you that one can dominate someone online and have it be real and perhaps that is real for them, but for me, I could only submit to someone in real life after I have met them and spent time with them.


I dont really think you know what you are talking about, either that, or you have had some bad experiences.  I do rt sessions, for over 13 years now, but I still like to have a few "online toys", they serve a different purpose.  I do know they are doing as told via webcam and or pictures.  Not only those, but even in a rt relationship,. you can not be together 24/7 and you have to have trust, same goes online. I also have relationships were we do play rt, but it does not mean if I am here and she is there we can not play online that night.  Also, any kind of longer term online slave I have, there is always the potential that if things go well for a good period of time, we may even get together for a rt session if possible.



wonderingslave -> RE: Online (11/24/2007 1:01:38 PM)

I am in an online relationship ....however we talk on phone and webcam, so he sees and knows that I am doing the things he tells me to. We are also meeting soon as well. It is as real as you want it to be...but I agree with the other person who responded sometimes it could be just that....but there are relationships that are online that go into real life. I also had a Master in real-life. So its really up to you. And you shouldnt let others dictate what is real to you and what isnt.



Sirandlil1 -> RE: Online (11/24/2007 5:15:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I think if someone is only into online, they are either:

-not serious about it
-serious but unable to do anything about i.e. married or involved and unable or unwilling to go outside the relationship
-a teenager playing games
-insecure and afraid to venture into real life
-just someone who enjoys getting off online with someone

As far as how do they know the sub is submitting...they don't. It is all imaginary.

Of course, someone else can come along and tell you that one can dominate someone online and have it be real and perhaps that is real for them, but for me, I could only submit to someone in real life after I have met them and spent time with them.


Well said..................



domiguy -> RE: Online (11/24/2007 6:19:06 PM)

The appeal?  Are you crazy?  As a sixteen year old guy....There is nothing more rad than getting a woman to submit to my every desire...Whether it be knowing that a forty year old women is sticking a hunk of rubber up her hiney or that she will soon be sending me that cool new video game...It rocks hard!!!

Also the primo perks of receiving tit and gash shots from my subs has allowed me to free up some tall cash that would have gone to purchase some porn.....This is a totally bitchin' situation....It's a big win-win...(Domiguy's mom calls up that dinner is getting cold)

"Okay...Jeeeeeeesus Christ!!! I'll be down in a minute!!!"

Ever since mom has been dating that guy who runs the Amoco station she always has her tit in a wringer about trying to get out of the house as quickly as possible while still pretending to be a good mother....What a bitch!!!

I gotta go....




SirJohnMandevill -> RE: Online (11/24/2007 6:39:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: trusting

i would like to know the interest some Doms have in online Domination? 

Why do some prefer this over the 'real' thing and how would He know that the sub is actually submitting to Him?


In the particular case I'm aware of (no, not me), the Dom has a literal stable of online girls because he's too arrogant and self-centered to be with in person. Maybe that's best for all concerned.

My .02 zlotys: I firmly believe you can start a D/s relationship online, but at some point it has to become r/t. Personally, once I've had a taste of the real thing, I'd find it hard to go back to online. If I want the relationship badly enough, I'll do whatever it takes to make it an in-person reality.

Les (Purveyor of Fine Kinkiness since...well, for a long, long time)



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Online (11/24/2007 6:47:47 PM)

Personally on line Domination for me is a no go..Do I feel that those who do online D/s is less real to them?..no...Do I feel that those who do online need to see the whites of each others eyes in order for it to be affirming and cohesive?..yes..if you have a mixture of on line vs R/L..then it is very real...If it is strictly online without a possibility of R/L at some point then I think you are only fooling yourself, and frankly ,wasting your time...But if the fantasy is all you need for your life to be full ...then have at it........eventually you will feel the lack of that physical presence down the line.....Tempting



adoracat -> RE: Online (11/24/2007 7:25:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirJohnMandevill
My .02 zlotys: I firmly believe you can start a D/s relationship online, but at some point it has to become r/t. Personally, once I've had a taste of the real thing, I'd find it hard to go back to online. If I want the relationship badly enough, I'll do whatever it takes to make it an in-person reality.

Les (Purveyor of Fine Kinkiness since...well, for a long, long time)


my relationship with Daddy is sustained in between in-person meetings with online and phone interactions.  while we MUCH prefer being face to face and skin to skin, this at least keeps us connected and talking to one another about mundane things in our lives and the just sillinesses that make life interesting.

bdsm interaction we save for the face to face.

kitten, thoughtfully



InkedMaster -> RE: Online (11/24/2007 8:43:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: trusting

i would like to know the interest some Doms have in online Domination? 

Why do some prefer this over the 'real' thing and how would He know that the sub is actually submitting to Him?

I've been asking myself this same question for years.



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