Love

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MasterSunLord -> Love (11/24/2007 4:25:47 PM)
We are relativly new to the "life" and practicing....the love we have for one another is powerful and drives us. Any thoughts on the aspect of love in a relationship and it effects on bdsm. I know it moves me to learn properly, compells me to take her to the depths. The psychological dynamics are to say the least unrelenting. MSL

Rastimmipitwax -> RE: Love (11/24/2007 4:30:35 PM)
Love is a very sharp two-edged sword in the practice of BDSM. It can render a Dom/me unable to give the sub what s/he needs. It can also heighten the interaction to an incomparable degree.

MissMagnolia -> RE: Love (11/24/2007 4:30:43 PM)
I feel exactly the same way, whatever the relationship. None lifestyle relationships require just the same amount of learning and drive as a lifestyle relationship. D/s isn't any deeper or compelling for me than none D/s.

hisannabelle -> RE: Love (11/24/2007 4:32:15 PM)
greetings mastersunlord, i am one of those people who believes firmly in having both (m/s and love). but then again, i'm a bit of a slut when it comes to love...once we dived into poly and i started deconstructing my monogamous programming, i realized that i do fall in love easily to various extents with almost everyone i am with. that said, of course, my depth of love for him is much more committed and deeper because of the seriousness of our relationship as opposed to other people i have been with since we got together, but still...learning that it was okay to fall in love with more than one person was a big learning experience for me. for me, though, even if it were monogamous, i cannot imagine being owned by someone without love being involved. ownership is too tied up in attachment, affection, love, and trust for me. respectfully, annabelle

MrSpectacular -> RE: Love (11/24/2007 4:39:23 PM)
It depends on which way you approach the lifestyle you have chosen. For a lot of people here they have chosen a particular path they want to lead and they are looking for others who are compatible. In that instance love is the magical thing that will sneak up on you as the relationship develops. In your case you already have a loving relationship , but are trying a new dynamic. That love is probably what is going to get you through some of the difficulty and newness you are experiencing. Good luck.

Qithoras -> RE: Love (11/24/2007 4:50:05 PM)
In my opinion love is the colour on the painting. Black and white can be nice, but to see vibrant colour... it enchances life. Generally our relationships occupy a significant if not the majority of our time, emotions, thought. To me its a choice of nice, or joy. Yes, it comes with its downfalls, but without those, life wouldn't be life.

probablyknowme -> RE: Love (11/24/2007 5:36:34 PM)
Well, I thought I might chime in here...even though I am not a Master. I, for one, can and have formed intense emotional attatchment to the people with whom I have been in a power exchange relationship. Does that mean that I have loved every one of them? No. Does that lack of love affect the relationship dynamic? Yes it does. Does it make the power exchange any less potent? No, in fact, the ones who I did not love or they me were very much the more significant ones. But as a rule, the level of commitment to the relationship is more important to me rather than the level of attatchment to me. Probably not a very popular opinion here, sorry. Going to play with my crayons, kat

MasterofScyn -> RE: Love (11/24/2007 6:11:54 PM)
To me love is love no matter the relationship. I am in love with Master and I feel that having this type of lifestyle has actually made it stronger. There's a deeper connection and a bond that was never there for me before. He is my first Master and I can honestly say the last person I'm ever going to give my heart to. The M/s part of it all is just an added bonus. I have never trusted anyone like I trust him, the stronger that trust is, the stronger my love for him grows. But that's me. /shrug. Scyn ~

Rayne58 -> RE: Love (11/24/2007 6:57:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterofScyn To me love is love no matter the relationship. I am in love with Master and I feel that having this type of lifestyle has actually made it stronger. There's a deeper connection and a bond that was never there for me before. He is my first Master and I can honestly say the last person I'm ever going to give my heart to. The M/s part of it all is just an added bonus. I have never trusted anyone like I trust him, the stronger that trust is, the stronger my love for him grows. But that's me. /shrug. Scyn ~ smiles not just you [:D] I've always said that the relationship comes first and the D/s is the icing on the cake. It has enhanced rather than detracted from our lives.

InkedMaster -> RE: Love (11/24/2007 7:33:17 PM)
Love takes many forms, it has different meanings and values to different people. In my life concerning bdsm and love, I cannot have one with out the other, sure I can go through the motions, but why? I simply don't have too. Personally I chose to either have both or not at all. To me it means finding a woman I simply cannot live without, one that will enhance my life and one that fits my life as I would fit and enhance hers. We would have the same goals, the same warped morbid sick twisted sense of humor. Not an easy task, we would share the same values, the same sense or morals and beliefs. The chemistry would be there from lust to building a foundation for a lasting love. Essentially when it comes to love, when it comes to bdsm and or love within bdsm, there is no right and no wrong. I simply take my definition of love and then take what works for me within the lifestyle of bdsm. Maybe I'm not true to society and maybe I'm not true to the lifestyle, but I am true to myself and my slave, For us it works and we would have it no other way. It is our life.

FangsNfeet -> RE: Love (11/24/2007 7:37:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rastimmipitwax Love is a very sharp two-edged sword in the practice of BDSM. It can render a Dom/me unable to give the sub what s/he needs. It can also heighten the interaction to an incomparable degree. Now that it's more than just mere passion. More whip I put into my lashin.

breatheasone -> RE: Love (11/24/2007 8:38:13 PM)
Master and I have a love, a oneness neither of us was really prepared for. We also have very odd, but similar kinks [:)] We are truly a perfect match. With that intensity comes the need for balance...Master and I are still working on that.

SirJohnMandevill -> RE: Love (11/24/2007 9:49:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: probablyknowme I, for one, can and have formed intense emotional attatchment to the people with whom I have been in a power exchange relationship. Does that mean that I have loved every one of them? No. Does that lack of love affect the relationship dynamic? Yes it does. Does it make the power exchange any less potent? No Probably not a very popular opinion here, sorry. kat Very close to my views, kat. Just to add, I will need to trulymadlydeeply love any submissive woman I have a 24/7/365 D/s life with, and have her love me the same in return. And that mutual love won't affect the things I need to do to fulfill my responsibilities in the D/s relationship; it will only make me want to do them more. Hope that doesn't sound too sappy, but the bedtime meds are starting to kick in. Les (Purveyor of fine kinkiness since...well, for a long, long time)

Estring -> RE: Love (11/24/2007 10:20:31 PM)
I love my slave, and would have to love any slave I would be in a relationship with. Otherwise it is not worth the time and effort needed to be a good Master to my slave.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Love (11/24/2007 10:21:54 PM)
A cruel word to you vanilla wife can be as damaging as any whip to your slave. Ds isn't better or worse, it's just different. If people got this and would devote as much time into developing the mental/emotional relationship with as much skill as they do with toys, we'd be one hell of a society. Master Fire

sexyred1 -> RE: Love (11/24/2007 10:24:34 PM)
I think it is the ideal to love your Master and be loved by him. But....I have been in a situation where the Dom and I loved each other madly, but could not sustain the relationship outside of BDSM. That is where loving someone becomes a problem; I still love him and he loves me after 10 years together, but we cannot be together. It did not affect the BDSM, it affected everything else.

eyesopened -> RE: Love (11/25/2007 3:01:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: probablyknowme Well, I thought I might chime in here...even though I am not a Master. I, for one, can and have formed intense emotional attatchment to the people with whom I have been in a power exchange relationship. Does that mean that I have loved every one of them? No. Does that lack of love affect the relationship dynamic? Yes it does. Does it make the power exchange any less potent? No, in fact, the ones who I did not love or they me were very much the more significant ones. But as a rule, the level of commitment to the relationship is more important to me rather than the level of attatchment to me. Probably not a very popular opinion here, sorry. Going to play with my crayons, kat For me, life has always been a journey where i'm not in any hurry to get to the final destination. Therefore, having fun along the way just makes sense, enjoy the scenery, experience new things, find joy in unexpected places. my husband was the drive-straight-through-we-are-making-good-time-no-stops kind of traveller. After my divorce, i used to take the kids, get into the car and say "pick a direction" and off we would go just to see what there was to see. Plenty of stops, plenty of "what's down that road?" just a day of adventure without pressure, timetables or pre-set expectations. Too many people seek Love as the preamble to their happiness never knowing that Happiness is the preamble to love. Too many think only if they are in love they can accept bdsm. i can and have served intesely without love but i cannot love without serving. i am deeply in love with my Master in part because He understands this. To allow me to suffer for Him is a loving act, not a cruel one. We are not equals, but we share the same goals, beacuse we fit so perfectly, we can easily travel together, down the same road of new adventure.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Love (11/25/2007 2:00:35 PM)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_651231/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#651253 What's love got to do with it? http://www.collarchat.com/m_632033/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#632105 Loving your property http://www.collarchat.com/m_609494/mpage_2/key_love/tm.htm#609934 Ownership and Love http://www.collarchat.com/m_545462/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#545482 What does love got to do with it? http://www.collarchat.com/m_538921/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#538965 The Loving Dom http://www.collarchat.com/m_499831/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#499881 Don't fall in love with your dom http://www.collarchat.com/m_477568/mpage_3/key_love/tm.htm#484997 How common is it to fall in love with a submissive or dominant? http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=423736&mpage=1&key=love&#423879 Love and Ms http://www.collarchat.com/m_282567/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#282615 submissive/slave romantic love http://www.collarchat.com/m_269031/mpage_1/key_love%252Csubmission/tm.htm#269120 Falling in love with Mistress http://www.collarchat.com/m_248492/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#248492 true love in a relationship http://www.collarchat.com/m_236486/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#236486 balancing commitment and love http://www.collarchat.com/m_199915/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#199915 love in bdsm http://www.collarchat.com/m_166085/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#166085 love and D/s http://www.collarchat.com/m_65043/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#65043 love and bdsm (the unfettered heart) http://www.collarchat.com/m_150281/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#150281 Is it normal to fall in love with your dom during training? http://www.collarchat.com/m_125880/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#125880 not allowed to love him, what do I do? http://www.collarchat.com/m_119832/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#119832 being owned or being loved http://www.collarchat.com/m_97124/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#97124 subs/masochists and love http://www.collarchat.com/m_31285/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#31285 can love get in the way? http://www.collarchat.com/m_14998/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#14998 love in d/s http://www.collarchat.com/m_2491/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#2491 is love important in a relationship?

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