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RE: Etiquette - 11/26/2007 8:17:20 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

Dear M4Y-

I think you've been scammed. The overseas mistress may have been a sock puppet for the local contact. In any case, you have been wronged in the sharing of the info without consulting you. you did not overreact.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

Agreed.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to topcat)

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Post #: 21

RE: Etiquette - 11/26/2007 8:24:09 PM

maybe4you

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline

excuse my ignorance of terminology but what is a sock puppet?

(in reply to laurell3)

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Post #: 22

RE: Etiquette - 11/27/2007 6:46:41 AM

Vanatru

Posts: 300
Joined: 4/16/2004
Status: offline

a shill, mouthpiece, or other such. Like, the local couple set up the overseas domme profile to be attractive to you and bait you into contacting that fake profile so they could try to contact you. Anyway you slice it, it's dishonest and a huge red flag.

(in reply to maybe4you)

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Post #: 23

RE: Etiquette - 11/27/2007 3:39:24 PM

kinkypuppy2

Posts: 345
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline

Report them to Collarme and pass the nic they used around to warn others.

_____________________________

See nic "Kinkypupper" also as "slvseeker" As I cannot reply to any posts or log into collarchat under that name I had to create this profile.

(in reply to maybe4you)

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Post #: 24

RE: Etiquette - 11/27/2007 3:54:45 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I have never had my information passed on in this way.. it is out of line and creepy

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to maybe4you)

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Post #: 25

RE: Etiquette - 11/28/2007 3:48:15 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear maybe4you, Ladies and Gentlemen;

There are many good Dominants around the world. One thing that is the 'need to be said' is, no matter where in the world they are--follow your gut instincts.

Safety is an extremely serious matter in the lifestyle, the scene and or BDSM. This is why many groups created for BDSM education and or support, strongly advise never to use your home as a meeting ground, as it is your safe haven. Many established individuals may be able to afford opening their homes to other scene members--some are not. Many individuals, to which I agree to--only use their screen and or scene names, as to maintain privacy and remain discreet among the neighborhood, work and a larger part of the world.

I will add, that you being 'new' is not a sign on your forehead--'stupid' or 'victim.'

There are many who have multiple screen names and have multiple screen names on Collarme.com. Treat everyone as a stranger--as you really cannot see who and or what you are talking with. For all any of us can tell, we might be talking to a male behind a female screen name or vice versa. The same can be said for roles, such as Dominant and or submissive.

I would only invest time and effort to meet those to whom you can physically interact with, hand to hand and face to face.

I do have to admit that the term 'sock puppet' used by TopCat was so funny, I had to laugh out loud--even though he may/could have any number of emotions behind the term. But, it is very clear that the puppet, even though it is a sock--is still a limb that is attached to someone who is in the shadows. I do wonder out loud--if a Mistress was indeed interested in you, why not directly contact you and if the Mistress in contact with you knew of a different Mistress, did not suggest you investigate into the other Mistress. I think I would have made sure you knew what was going on behind the scene and not spring surprises upon you.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to maybe4you)

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Post #: 26

RE: Etiquette - 11/28/2007 11:07:17 PM

SmokingGun82

Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic

Smokinggun, allow me to demonstrate exactly why some people are so concerned with the privacy of their personal information.
Kana has got this covered pretty well, but..I'll go into a little more detail.
Let's just assume that I'm an online predator and you are the prey I've set my eyes on. You give me your email/screen name and it's not too long before a few clever keystrokes reveals your IP. From here there's quite a few different directions one might take to obtain the rest of your information (full name, address, cial security number..whatever it is I want.) Next thing you know, you're on your way to your car in the morning and before you know what's happened you're being abducted. Now you're locked in a box in my basement, subject to my every whim, all the while your credit is being run up for my benefit and the only thing that ties the two of us is a message or two in your inbox that appears to have come from some place in malaysia.
Yes, this is an extreme example and yes it is highly improbable. but, it isn't outside of the realm of possibilities and the information is out there for anyone patient enough to seek it out.

I understand the irrational fears of some people- and yes, it's irrational, because the odds are ridiculous. I spend as much time worrying about someone taking the time and effort to track a screenname to an IP to blah blah blah as I do getting hit by a bus.

That's ignoring the fact that there are much easier ways to get my information- like talking to me and asking. If I'm exchanging emails with someone, or even just one or two emails, I'm willing to give them my phone number. If you google my phone number, you'll get my name. Or if this hypothetical person asked me my name, I'd tell them.

You're welcome to be paranoid and treat your screenname/email address like the nuclear launch codes. And I'm free to think that's silly and melodramatic. My screennames are fairly easy to obtain, even if you're not talking to me- if it didn't violate the TOS, I'd have my Yahoo screenname in my CM profile. They're in every other profile I have on every other site.

But to each their own.

_____________________________

It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)

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Post #: 27

RE: Etiquette - 11/28/2007 11:25:24 PM

deliciousmorsel

Posts: 153
Joined: 9/22/2007
Status: offline

That was way beyond bad manners in my opinion, completely and totally inappropriate. The Internet is actually a very dicey place, lot of poseurs lurking at the fringes of BDSM looking for prey. Be very careful!

(in reply to RumpusParable)

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Post #: 28

RE: Etiquette - 11/28/2007 11:39:52 PM

TwiztdErotic

Posts: 155
Joined: 10/13/2007
Status: offline

I'll be honest, I really don't think he has a whole lot to worry about. I doubt many predators out there are looking for someone like him. That's not to say that he should ignore the advice altogether..using the software I've suggested is just a smart safety precaution no matter which way you slice it. If he happened to piss off the wrong person with the right skillset, be it here or anywhere else, he'd have one hell of an unnecessary headache to deal with. Besides, the software is pretty fkn sweet in it's own right. Who doesn't want the ability to be anonymous, or have heavily encrypted conversations from time to time?

< Message edited by TwiztdErotic -- 11/28/2007 11:41:32 PM >

(in reply to deliciousmorsel)

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RE: Etiquette - 11/29/2007 10:01:45 AM

SmokingGun82

Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline

I like the assumption that I'm ignorant of the risks involved, rather than that I've weighed them and said "Fuck that."

You can consider it bad manners- you'd be wrong, but that's your right- but how is it inappropriate to the discussion? We've had the fear mongering side... logic deserves it's place too.

_____________________________

It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)

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Post #: 30

RE: Etiquette - 11/30/2007 10:08:45 AM

prettyslavefl

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

hi there

(in reply to RumpusParable)

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Post #: 31

RE: Etiquette - 11/30/2007 4:23:44 PM

gentlestarZR