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What is your ideal - 11/25/2007 10:51:40 AM   
astarri


Posts: 265
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline 		Okay i am actually a virgin to making new threads so bare with me. I am writing an essay which brought up an interesting question to me. This is not really part of the topic of my essay so i am not going research it more but i am curious.
When looking for a new partner, do you look for someone that has similar personality traits to you or do you look for someone to "fill in the holes" or compliment your personality?
Now obviously submissive women are not looking for submissive men ...this is not what i am talking about. If you are an outgoing person, are you drawn to people who are more socially reserved? If you are a disorganized person, do you find yourself in the company of overly organized people? Or do you find contentment with someone who is more similar to you?
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RE: What is your ideal - 11/25/2007 10:56:49 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Your very first thread start and you are shucking your clothes?  What an entrance, I am unsure if I can bear this sort of pressure.

Ron


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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: What is your ideal - 11/25/2007 10:58:32 AM   
astarri


Posts: 265
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline 		haha see this is why i dont start threads ... that and now im sitting there looking at "fill in the holes" and slapping my forehead!!! 

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RE: What is your ideal - 11/25/2007 11:00:36 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Actually after seeing that portion of your speech,  I was about to mack you, I already perved, looking for a pic or two (none to be found).

It's ALL good.

Ron


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: What is your ideal - 11/25/2007 11:01:42 AM   
Level


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quote:

ORIGINAL: astarri


When looking for a new partner, do you look for someone that has similar personality traits to you or do you look for someone to "fill in the holes" or compliment your personality?


Both. I like me quite a bit, so having a similar personality would be a good thing, in general, but I also have flaws, so finding someone better than me in some respects is also desireable.
 
If I had to pick, I'd come down more on the "similar" section.

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: What is your ideal - 11/25/2007 11:01:43 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		I don't actualy look for anything.I have always waited for a connection. Any time you place a limit on your self there is a possibilty of cheating yourself. Having said that I suppose I am drawn to more outgoing. smart ass people. similar to Me.

Jeff

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RE: What is your ideal - 11/25/2007 11:08:00 AM   
astarri


Posts: 265
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline 		i am a shy girl yep

Thank you Level I had not included both because noone can be exactly like us or exactly disimilar. Thank you for your response.

Yes Jeff i don't always believe it is a conscious thing for most people either so thank you for responding ...is exactly what i meant.

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RE: What is your ideal - 11/25/2007 11:08:57 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I was drawn to his power.  I felt it instantly.  Everything else fell into place after that.  We have a lot of similarities and a lot of dissimilarities.  What we both wanted in an M/s relationship seemed to match up perfectly.  All the rest either fell into place or I adjusted to it.

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RE: What is your ideal - 11/25/2007 11:09:18 AM   
sexyred1


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Status: offline 		I cannot look for my ideal, since that most likely does not exist.

So, I have to prioritize what I need in a person vs. what I want in a person. I have often made the wrong choice in partners because I went with what simply turned me on about someone rather than someone who was actually compatible with me and then tried to force the compatibility issues. The other way around did not work at all, where we were compatible in all ways, but lacking the requisite lust/chemical attraction.

At this point, what I hope for is a smart, savvy, kind guy who can be nice to me and my mom and then be a sexy, depraved, animal when alone to me. 

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RE: What is your ideal - 11/25/2007 11:14:05 AM   
astarri


Posts: 265
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I was drawn to his power.  I felt it instantly.  Everything else fell into place after that.  We have a lot of similarities and a lot of dissimilarities.  What we both wanted in an M/s relationship seemed to match up perfectly.  All the rest either fell into place or I adjusted to it.

So are you more similar now that you have adjusted ownedgirlie? I am happy that you have found a balance. I believe it to be vital.

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RE: What is your ideal - 11/25/2007 11:15:13 AM   
lauren0221


Posts: 681
Joined: 8/29/2006
Status: offline 		For me, having a preconception of who and what my partner should be would be too limiting. I like surprises, and have been around the block enough times to know that sometimes the unexpected can be pretty damn wonderful.

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RE: What is your ideal - 11/25/2007 11:17:51 AM   
astarri


Posts: 265
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline 		Surprises are fun unless you wake up one day and get a not so pleasant surprise. I am curious if down the road similarities breed boredom and if differences grow over time until it seems as though you have no base line to communicate. 

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RE: What is your ideal - 11/25/2007 11:19:45 AM   
astarri


Posts: 265
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I cannot look for my ideal, since that most likely does not exist.

So, I have to prioritize what I need in a person vs. what I want in a person. I have often made the wrong choice in partners because I went with what simply turned me on about someone rather than someone who was actually compatible with me and then tried to force the compatibility issues. The other way around did not work at all, where we were compatible in all ways, but lacking the requisite lust/chemical attraction.

At this point, what I hope for is a smart, savvy, kind guy who can be nice to me and my mom and then be a sexy, depraved, animal when alone to me. 


So that part i have bolded, would you say that you are smart, savy and kind? with a sexy depraved animal under the surface?

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RE: What is your ideal - 11/25/2007 11:24:58 AM   
ownedgirlie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: astarri

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I was drawn to his power.  I felt it instantly.  Everything else fell into place after that.  We have a lot of similarities and a lot of dissimilarities.  What we both wanted in an M/s relationship seemed to match up perfectly.  All the rest either fell into place or I adjusted to it.

So are you more similar now that you have adjusted ownedgirlie? I am happy that you have found a balance. I believe it to be vital.



We still have our similarities and differences.  In many ways I have taken on some of his ideals as my own.  In other ways I have held onto my own or developed new ideals that are different than his.  But I have embraced the differences and came to love even those quirks of his which used to trouble me.  And I have also learned to adjust or better express those quirks of mine which troubled him.  The key for us was we began with a basic match in what we needed, and I worked to fit into his world after that while still being allowed my own uniqueness. In fact, he has capitalized on that uniqueness to create a dynamic we both enjoy.   It has worked out well.  :)

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RE: What is your ideal - 11/25/2007 11:27:30 AM   
astarri


Posts: 265
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline 		I like that thought ...to me it says that you are accepted for who you are though through compromise have come to common ground. Congratulations.

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RE: What is your ideal - 11/25/2007 11:30:45 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, he is the first person who ever fully accepted who I am at my core.  I just had a lot of fine tuning to do, lol. 

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RE: What is your ideal - 11/25/2007 11:33:24 AM   
shellzbythesea


Posts: 120
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline 		i'm quite the social butterfly and a bit of a jabber jaws and tend to gravitate toward other "social" people. The (strong) silent type would unnerve me.  Strong, i like...silent...not-so-much-so. 
 
i dated a guy once and everyone who knew me kept asking why i was out with this guy who *never* talked?  i'm like, he may not talk to YOU but he talks to *me* non-stop...so with him, i didn't mind that he was so reserved...but with others, it's just not really "my thing."
 
Someone mentioned being drawn to their Doms "power."  i understand that completely and often fall for men that are in either in positions of perceived power or they just exude a certain confidence that lends itself to that trait and everyone around them can feel it.

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RE: What is your ideal - 11/25/2007 11:33:36 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: astarri

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I cannot look for my ideal, since that most likely does not exist.

So, I have to prioritize what I need in a person vs. what I want in a person. I have often made the wrong choice in partners because I went with what simply turned me on about someone rather than someone who was actually compatible with me and then tried to force the compatibility issues. The other way around did not work at all, where we were compatible in all ways, but lacking the requisite lust/chemical attraction.

At this point, what I hope for is a smart, savvy, kind guy who can be nice to me and my mom and then be a sexy, depraved, animal when alone to me. 


So that part i have bolded, would you say that you are smart, savy and kind? with a sexy depraved animal under the surface?



Oh my god, yes. I only ask for what I offer!!!

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RE: What is your ideal - 11/25/2007 11:40:07 AM   
Gwynvyd


Posts: 4949
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quote:

ORIGINAL: astarri

Surprises are fun unless you wake up one day and get a not so pleasant surprise. I am curious if down the road similarities breed boredom and if differences grow over time until it seems as though you have no base line to communicate. 


This is at the heart of the issue of "Growing apart" So many people do this in thier realtionships.. and even friendships.

One person is evolving.. and growing as a person. Striving to be better, and to learn while the other is either too busy, or doesnt care nor have the drive to put in the effort to evolve.

I have seen it in married couples numerous times.

Lack of communication and that every day working and I mean *Working* on thier realtionship causes an disharmony and unbalance in things.  Each day before I head off to work I ask myself... " Did I show her that I care, and love her this morning? ~ "What did I do to help her get pleasently through her day?" she doesnt know I do this.. she doesnt need to. When I stop thinking about it then I slide back into being inconciderate... and taking her for granted. Nothing is trivial in a long term realtionship. We have grown at different rates.. and we play catch up ~ that was very hard at first.. But it is worth trying over and over again.

I wish you all luck.

Gwyn

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Come for the boobs, stay for the brains.

Be the kinda woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the Devil says "Oh shit, shes awake..."
~ Softandshy's "Shiney"

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RE: What is your ideal - 11/25/2007 11:40:33 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		I am drawn to those that compliment me I think. Kinda like steel against steel....It keeps you sharp.  I have an out going personality. Master loves how I tend to put people at ease when I speak to them. He also is very out going and friendly...so we do well together socially. Master laughs, and says He is Mike...until people meet me...then He's known as Candy's B/f  Mike LOL  and He beams when He says it! 

It's a cool feeling when someone is proud of you, just because you are you....


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Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

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