Has dating your Master changed things?

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Has dating your Master changed things? - 11/25/2007 8:53:21 PM

newsub27

Posts: 18
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline

In the year Master and I have been together things have changed. I have become emotionally involved in our relationship and have fallen in love with him. A few months back we started to "offically date" ( his words not mine) and I since met his family and friends, and well things are not the same as far as our M/s relationship. For some reason he feels that he cant be the Master he use to be. We have discussed it and I have told him I have no problem with the sexual part of our relationship (have always been friends outsid the bedroom and M/s in the bedroom) remained the way it was before, but he keeps saying that once the feelings became involved he now has trouble pushing me or causing to much pain. I loved the control he had over me in the bedroom and the fact that he controlled my orgasms and hate that he feels that it will take away from the emotional part of it. So here is my question. Have any of you gone through this and how can I make him see that the Master part of him doesnt take away from the love I have for him, only makes it stronger?

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RE: Has dating your Master changed things? - 11/25/2007 9:51:14 PM

angelslave77

Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

My Sir and I although we met on this site because of our common bdsm interest, started "dating" in the vanilla sense right from the outset. There is just no way I could allow someone I didnt love and trust completly have that much power over me. And in truth the more in love we become the more able to share our desires and the more intense our play. So for us being in love has deppened things.

I think all you can do is communicate openly and honestly with each other

(in reply to newsub27)

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RE: Has dating your Master changed things? - 11/25/2007 10:01:57 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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In my experience, other than time and exploring together (which means yes, you should be a bit pushy here), finding another kinky sadist/masochist long term relationship couple in love can help TONS. Seeing how other people do it can help kickstart his mind out of the rut he's in.

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RE: Has dating your Master changed things? - 11/25/2007 10:10:12 PM

simplyeli

Posts: 31
Joined: 4/7/2007
From: Panhandle of Florida
Status: offline

"The power of submission lies not in the ability to kneel before another, to give over ones body, or in the wearing of a collar. The power of submission can be found only in the heart of one who gives her love to another freely, knowing what joy and pain will come from it."
Roguer

tell Him that giving that part of yourself to Him is the ultimate act of you loving Him. and His controlling it, using it for mutual pleasure...taking it from you...is also an act of loving. the ulitmate act, in my opinion.remind Him that htat actof giving and taking is what drew you to each other in the first place...and if all that doesnt work....beg.

and good luck, hunny.
eli

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RE: Has dating your Master changed things? - 11/25/2007 11:14:36 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

greetings newsub,

for us it was a bit the other way around...then again, i cannot imagine being a slave to someone without being in a relationship with them and loving them deeply. but i think it depends on your master, really, and what he's comfortable with. reassuring him that having feelings doesn't mean that you're not submissive to him is one way to start...and that if he beats you or disciplines you, that doesn't mean that he doesn't love you (in fact it can mean quite the opposite). he may just be nervous adjusting to a new dynamic. if you ever wish to talk about it on the other side, feel free to message me.

respectfully,
annabelle.

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