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Male versus Female Subs? - 11/26/2007 10:46:04 AM

xiam

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I realize everyone has their own kinks, but i am curious about the psychology and desires within genders. It seems to me that a lot of male subs are more into service and belittlement than their female counterparts, but feel free to correct me if i am wrong. I'm wondering what we have in common and what our differences are and as a Dom/me, how might you approach or top a man differently than a woman?

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RE: Male versus Female Subs? - 11/26/2007 11:05:35 AM

toservez

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I do not believe male submissives are more into service then women at all. For a women service that you refer to is pretty much a given whether we are in a power exchange relationship or not. It is just because the things asked of male submissive just seem more different because it goes against the norm. As a woman doing most of the cooking, cleaning, and fussing over a loved one pretty much is status quo for most not all in a relationship.

As far as belittlement, I do not know for sure but from what I have read on this message board you might have something there but still so dependent on the individual. This is one woman that enjoys being belittled.

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RE: Male versus Female Subs? - 11/26/2007 11:11:41 AM

RCdc

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Service doesn't = submission. So I would disagree with you there.

Plus I pretty much like humiliation etc and it pretty much rocks so I wouldn't say it's a big male only/mostly thing. I don;t believe it has much to do with the sex of a person, but purely down to the individual. Get caught up in the sexual stereotypes and that would be the kiss of death.

the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 11/26/2007 11:29:41 AM >

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RE: Male versus Female Subs? - 11/26/2007 11:20:52 AM

Stephann

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I wrote a fairely lengthy post on this a while back, here.

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=857456

In brief, I think it's simply that most male submissives seem to have motivations that are distinctly different from female submissives. Men seem more likely to sexualize their relationships, while women are more likely to romanticize them. Sex as an act doesn't require a depth of emotional connection, and romantic relationships do (at least to some degree.)

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Stephan

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RE: Male versus Female Subs? - 11/26/2007 11:51:39 AM

xiam

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Thanks for the link.. i will check it out. I didn't mean to make assumptions, so sorry if anyone read it that way. I'm always really intrigued with gender relations and i have been talking to a male sub lately and it struck me that he approaches submission much differently than i do in some ways.

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RE: Male versus Female Subs? - 11/26/2007 1:32:16 PM

MasterFireMaam

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Sweeping generalizations are rarely true. I approach a male vs a female as this human vs that human. Every PERSON is different.

Master Fire

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RE: Male versus Female Subs? - 11/26/2007 1:41:07 PM

Lashra

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My male sub loves to cook, clean, pamper me and take care of me. As he said himself service is whatever I want or need it to be. He does serve me sexually as well and I have to say its a wonderful relationship, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I do not think I would treat a female sub any differently as I don't see them as being that different. The only thing a female sub couldn't do that he can is get an erection

and they make strapons for that. So to me it boils down to the person and not their gender as I would want the same thing from both.

~Lashra

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RE: Male versus Female Subs? - 11/26/2007 3:09:27 PM

Einzelganger

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If we're talking about what the sub personally enjoys, I'm not into belittlement or humiliation, but I'll put up with it if she enjoys it. I truly enjoy serving, pampering, etc., be it at a personal level (like a bath, massage, or something of that nature) or otherwise (like domestic chores). So maybe your observation is correct. *smiles*

For the most part, though, I'm not too partial as to what goes on as long as it's not a hard limit; anything else is fair play to me, seeing as she calls the shots.

As always, just my $0.02...*smiles*

-Einzelgänger

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RE: Male versus Female Subs? - 11/26/2007 3:14:37 PM

DiurnalVampire

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xiam
It seems to me that a lot of male subs are more into service and belittlement than their female counterparts, but feel free to correct me if i am wrong. I'm wondering what we have in common and what our differences are and as a Dom/me, how might you approach or top a man differently than a woman?

I have not noticed that the females are LESS into belittlement. The femsubs I have had been more into humiliation than the boys. My boys have been better for serivice, not becasue they want it more, but because they are just better at it.

I apporach every submissive prospect as an individual. I dont assume anything about what they might or might not be into. The only difference I ahve with the male subs I keep that I dont with the females are femenization.. which is sort of redundant with a girl slave already. Everything else-objectification, massages, humiliation, age play, bondage, so on - is nongender specific.

DV

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