Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life?

Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life? (Full Version)

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mastertarlthered -> Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life? (11/26/2007 12:25:08 PM)
I am interested to find out whether sub's and slaves are generally more interested in having a relationship with a Dom/Master if he is successfull in vanilla life both financially and or carreer wise? Or do the poor smoes out there who earn a modest wage and do a job which pays the bills have just as much chance as their much more fortunate "brothers"? How about it ladies?

LadyPact -> RE: Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life? (11/26/2007 12:26:43 PM)
Can't help Myself here, but who says that paying your bills doesn't make you a success?

SimplyMichael -> RE: Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life? (11/26/2007 12:36:16 PM)
In my experience in the four groups in sacramento plus varies event/groups in the bay area, income has very little correlation to skill/attractiveness as a dominant. Stability is a far better predictor/indicator of skill/attractiveness. Of course that is skewed in many ways, those with money often have reputation/careers to consider and shy away from active participation but I have known some rather wealthy people who cover the spectrum so who knows.

littleone35 -> RE: Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life? (11/26/2007 12:37:36 PM)
Well my Master is very successful in vanilla life, but that was not a requirment for me it was a nice +. I would have been his anyway unless he was a total loser without a college diploma (Master actually has 2 masters) and no job. If a guy cannot get his act together he cannot hope to get my submission. If Master made an average salery would not change my opnion of him, it is he i love not his paycheck. Matt's littleone

forg0ttenclone -> RE: Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life? (11/26/2007 12:41:27 PM)
Gotta chip in on this one... Success both financial and career wise is in the eye of the beholder. Some see success as merely being content at paying their bills and not having to fret over them. Others see success career wise as simply being happy in what they do...

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life? (11/26/2007 12:43:30 PM)
I am more concerned with someones ability to have a stable life and be responsible. Job and income are not as important as being responsible enough to pay their own bills. If they can't be in control of their own life how can they be in control of someone else? Yes everyone has a rough time now and then but I am more concerned with chronic debt and other problems.

wisteriaV -> RE: Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life? (11/26/2007 12:46:30 PM)
For me success does not mean financial wealth or having a job with a fancy title. It means having a warm place to sleep at night, food, clothing and having the bills paid and a few extra dollars in your pocket to get you til the next paycheck. It's going to bed at night knowing you have done the best you could for the day and being at peace with yourself and who you are. If your blessed, you might have someone to share that with. Anything after that is pure candy![:D]

gorgeous1 -> RE: Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life? (11/26/2007 1:08:16 PM)
Although I am fortunate enough to have a hubby who can afford to keep me at home, it does come with sacrifice. We drive modest cars, have a modest house (but an indecent mortgage- Southern California...ugh) and we don't go on lavish vacations or eat out very often. That's not what really matters though. The most important thing is that he is confident and in charge, and therefore I follow him.

drawntothedark -> RE: Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life? (11/26/2007 1:15:48 PM)
Wow it's been awhile since I have posted. I look for men who are "Masters" of themselves. I look at their relationships with other people and how they treat other people. I look for how much control they have over their own lives. I mean if I go to their house and the lights are shut off and they haven't paid the cable bill in awhile - I'll probably be moving on quickly. That is not about money.......It's about how they handle their daily lives. Now if he happened to have a lear jet and a couple bagillion dollars to toss around then all the better. (But I never seem to fall for the rich ones.......I always fall for the starving artists or impossiable dreamers. I have to admit the latter are much more fun to have around. And diamonds would get boring after awhile....eventually....probably very quickly....) So basically have your life togther is all I ask.

sakidorei -> RE: Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life? (11/26/2007 2:29:00 PM)
i echo the sentiments of others in regards to the term success. It IS in the eye of the beholder. The size of the paycheck or the job title isn't as important to me that He is driven! What i mean is ... is He always driven to be the BEST that He can be - personally, professionally, spiritually. If He is the type of person who settles for mediocrity in His life because well ... He is content ... then likely i'd not be very attracted to Him. Even if He is the head janitor ... it's what He does with it ... how He approaches it that matters. Is He looking for ways to make things better ... is He committed to being the best that He can be? Or ... does He just schlup along and punch the clock. i've yet to meet an Alpha who didn't feel driven or compelled to do the best He could do or find ways to do something better ... regardless of His current position, title or paycheck. One of my former Masters was going through a serious failure of His company when we met. He was in danger of losing everything and did pretty much lose everything that He owned at the time. He was lucky to make the rent every month and it was really hard. He went from living in a $300,000 home to owning His own business to hoping to meet the car and rent payments on His apartment after He lost His home. He had to take a job working as a line cook at a chain restaurant in order to pay the bills. It was the most humbling time of His life. This was 7 years ago. Today He drives a new car, owns another home, has a phenominal job in His specialty and has money in the bank. i met Him at the worst time ... but what i always knew about Him is that He was driven. He wasn't going to just lay down and make the status quo ... He wanted to be back in His field of expertise and He wanted to be successful in His life. While He was working as a line cook ... He changed a number of ways that things were done and eventually was made the kitchen manager because He was so good at finding better ways to do things. He didn't want to work in the food industry but He still gave it His all ... instead of just punching the clock. i don't need monetary success but i thrive with the type of personality that is driven and is in control ... the middle of the road or status quo route through life just doesn't get it for me when considering a Master. ~saki Property of Master D.

liminalRapture -> RE: Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life? (11/26/2007 2:32:46 PM)
Making a lot of money wouldn't matter to me (although I'd love to help find good charities to support one day). But, not living outside of your means does matter to me. If you are in massive debt for whatever reason (student loans, medical emergencies and mortgages excepted, in my opinion), that indicates to me that you aren't putting your life in order and I'd like someone planning for the future. Enjoying your work matters to me. Whatever your work is, if it nourishes you, I'm more interested in you. I would add having a healthy relationship with work--I'd like to be with someone who can leave work at work for an evening and even a weekend here and there. Finally, someone who feels successful is attractive to me. It doesn't mean on the typical scale--it means someone who knows they can achieve what they want and are doing what nourishes them. I think it gives a little extra charisma, and little extra confidence, an added spark.

salilus -> RE: Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life? (11/26/2007 2:38:58 PM)
The simple answer: in a question of 'love or money,' love wins. However, I never tended to show interest in people who didn't at least seem to have their lives 'together.' My theory was, 'if they can't control their own lives, they definitely aren't going to get to control any facet of mine.'

midnightwench -> RE: Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life? (11/26/2007 4:21:54 PM)
This may make me sound rather shallow.. I hope not. I am not looking for a sugar daddy by any means, but I am looking for someone who will hold their own on the bills. I recently left a relationship where I had to support my Dom, for 5 years matter of fact, and I just couldn't handle it anymore. Now, this doesn't mean that he has to be rich, he can be struggling just like the rest of us. The things that I look for are: 1. Can he hold down a job 2. Does he pay bills or does he blow it on little stuff That about sums it up for me. Independantly rich is nice, but ya know...I have dated that... never understood what it meant to go hungry, so they never appreciated what joys lifes struggles can bring you. Best of luck in your search! wench

curiouspet55 -> RE: Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life? (11/26/2007 4:43:02 PM)
Sucess is too much of a variable to be a factor for me. Instead, I'm interested in whether or not my potential Dom is either 1) in school 2) working or 3) both. If he is unemployed, or is in a very bottom-rung (with no chances of promotion - like wendys or mcdonalds) job with no plans or ambitions to do more. Being financially unable to attend college but working to save for it eventually is respected by me, but being ok with working at wendys forever doesn't gain my respect. This isn't because I look down on those workers so much as I want someone who is near where I am career-wise, intelligence-wise, and financially (there is room for flexibility). This is just a personal thing for me.

juliaoceania -> RE: Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life? (11/26/2007 5:24:15 PM)
My Daddy makes a good wage. He has a wonderful job which gives him a lot of latitude in how he lives his life. I am happy that he does so well for himself. I have to say that it is appealing that he does well, not because I see this as making him more powerful or because it means he has money to spend on me (I have to force myself to accept gifts because it is hard for me to take anything from others...) I am glad he does so well because of how that makes him feel about himself. On the other hand if my Daddy did nothing with himself but make a lot of money and never gave of himself to the world, I would not be attracted to him either. He uses the flexibility of his job in order to teach women's self defense... I would love him if he lost everything tomorrow, and it would not change anything on my side in how I feel about him or wanting a relationship with him. I would have trouble being with someone that had no ambition for something better in life and was satisfied with a low wage job that had little intrinsic value to him. In other words, either the job pays for the pursuits that have intrinsic value, or the job has intrinsic value... a school teacher does not make bank, but that job has intrinsic value and I see it as a calling. I have my own ambitions in this life, and my Daddy admires me for this, so it would make sense that since we both have ambitions we would attract our counterpart... meaning birds of a feather flock together. There is nothing wrong with being satisfied with a simple life and not having ambition in life. I can even understand being that way and wish I could be that way too sometimes, because being ambitious is sometimes very stressful. Sometimes I wish I did not care

breatheasone -> RE: Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life? (11/26/2007 5:28:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mastertarlthered I am interested to find out whether sub's and slaves are generally more interested in having a relationship with a Dom/Master if he is successfull in vanilla life both financially and or carreer wise? Or do the poor smoes out there who earn a modest wage and do a job which pays the bills have just as much chance as their much more fortunate "brothers"? How about it ladies? How he manages his life period is what would matter to me...Financial, social, health, all of it matters.

KatyLied -> RE: Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life? (11/26/2007 5:33:52 PM)
The level of education means nothing to me. The annual income means nothing to me. My main requirements would be that he is responsible with his spending and has a stable life. And he can make me laugh. I'm more impressed with how someone lives than with how much money he makes or how highly educated he is.

Willowmoon -> RE: Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life? (11/26/2007 7:24:07 PM)
For me it is nothing to do with how much money they earn, if they own property or not as long as they are working a job that doesn't make them miserable and are earning enough money to pay the bills and take me to a move or out for coffee every so often I am happy. In my past relationships i have been with someone who was unemployed livng of government payment, I have been with someone who worked a call centre job had enough to pay the bills and I have been with someone who had a lot of money. Out of all three relationships I have been happiest with the modest income as it was much closer to my level. Away from money intellect and interests are important to me I have to be with someone that shares similar interests as well as being able to have intelligent conversations and debates. I think the only real must have for me though is similar political and world views.

AnimusRex -> RE: Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life? (11/26/2007 7:33:25 PM)
It has been My experience that submissive women/ Dominant Men are pretty much like any women/ Men- Some listen to the angels of their better nature, and see a Man's/ woman's character and nature as the deciding factor- others give in to the devils of their worst nature, and grasp at His material goods or her hard body

hisannabelle -> RE: Does a Dom/Master necessarily need to be successfull in vanilla life? (11/27/2007 6:51:41 AM)
greetings mastertarlthered, as long as a dominant is financially self-sufficient and able to manage his own life and hold down a job, that is all that matters to me. obviously, money is nice; i could appreciate being with someone who has disposable income because i've never had it (i grew up very poor and am putting myself through college along with medical bills). but i define success in terms of being happy in their own life, and i have found that i am better matched with people who are happy with having what they need and not living extravagantly or spending a lot of time in a job (unless it's something they really enjoy). i don't plan to end up rich; i'm going to school for what i want to do (which is become a religion professor) so it's likely i'll end up living in a box. but i'd rather be happy because that's what i want to do even if it means not being wealthy. i am attracted to dominants who look at things similarly. i think being content with what you have is more important than being "successful" in our western sense (with the high-powered career and ridiculous amounts of money). respectfully, annabelle.

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