Is this right?

Is this right? (Full Version)

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Toxiclust -> Is this right? (11/26/2007 6:08:58 PM)
Hello everyone. I am really new here.....as in I just made my profile about 48 hours ago. I recived many meassages from people giving me tips on what I should be looking for on collarme.com and the " bewares" of being a young sub. But what I am looking for is not seeing to click with what I am reciving. I am looking for someone that I can "click" with. Someone that I can fall in love with and serve happliy while also have trust with him. But what most doms that are pming are telling me that I am a bitch and wrong. That it isnt about trusting or connecting its about the master picking me and tell me off the back what to do.... help?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Is this right? (11/26/2007 6:19:13 PM)
Half of the people are trying to get you to trust them and get you to close your eyes to their bullshit. The other half are trying to goad you into responding so they can pinpoint and exploit your weak points and trap you with your need to confront. All of them are losers just trying to find an easy new young piece of ass. One of them might be your perfect "clicker" but you'll have to use your own judgement for that.

MrSpectacular -> RE: Is this right? (11/26/2007 6:24:11 PM)
Hang in there - let the dust settle - most of the idiots will go away - then pick and choose with whom you want to respond to. If they are rude just block them - easy Good luck

batshalom -> RE: Is this right? (11/26/2007 7:04:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Toxiclust But what most doms that are pming are telling me that I am a bitch and wrong. That it isnt about trusting or connecting its about the master picking me and tell me off the back what to do.... help? These "doms" have their own agenda. They hope you believe that the vat of pig piss they're trying to sell you is actually magic love elixir. Stay your own course.

angelikaJ -> RE: Is this right? (11/26/2007 7:14:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Toxiclust Hello everyone. I am really new here.....as in I just made my profile about 48 hours ago. I recived many meassages from people giving me tips on what I should be looking for on collarme.com and the " bewares" of being a young sub. But what I am looking for is not seeing to click with what I am reciving. I am looking for someone that I can "click" with. Someone that I can fall in love with and serve happliy while also have trust with him. But what most doms that are pming are telling me that I am a bitch and wrong. That it isnt about trusting or connecting its about the master picking me and tell me off the back what to do.... help? Welcome! and relax... you have only been here 48 hrs... don't be discouraged...you just got here. Don't worry about those who say you're wrong... no one can decide that for you. Submissive does not mean brainless. jenn

AnimusRex -> RE: Is this right? (11/26/2007 7:20:12 PM)
fast reply- "Slut" means a girl who will sleep with everyone- "Bitch" means a girl who will sleep with everyone...but Me

liminalRapture -> RE: Is this right? (11/26/2007 7:26:12 PM)
In my experience, the clearer and pickier I am, the cooler the men I meet. I think my profile probably intimidates some people and others think I'm just full of it and pretentious. But the men that like it include an amazing slice of humanity. When you know something is right for you--stick to it. You're going to have a ton of people interested--just separate the wheat from the chaff and know that little will happen in 2 days. Give it at least 2 weeks (or probably months, at the least) before you even contemplate despairing!

fsub4use -> RE: Is this right? (11/26/2007 9:50:19 PM)
i think you are fabulous... nice profile... don't let your guard down... do what you're doing... and remember... people have ulterior motives. Make them prove themselves. welcome!

Maya2001 -> RE: Is this right? (11/26/2007 10:51:40 PM)
You are young and inexperienced some will try to take advantage of that don't be in a rush to find a partner otherwise you may very well will make mistakes you may regret later, give your self lots of times learning reading the forums going to munches before agreeing to see someone preferrably a few months, too many young subs rush in and then find themselves way over their head and get taken advantage of.. The right Dom for you will be patient and be willing to wait till you are ready to submit to them, they really have no power over you until you hand it to them. so don't ever think you have to submit because they say so and feel free to use the block button with those that you feel are showing disrepect to you. Some women enjoy the rough power trips some doms throw at them, but the majority want the doms to be respectful and want the time to get to know and trust the dom first. Good luck on your journey

eyesopened -> RE: Is this right? (11/27/2007 1:39:08 AM)
There are a whole lot of "dominants" who think new=stupid and young=has no bullshit radar. Those are the ones who check dilligently the "New Users" tab on their home page hoping they can bully their agenda onto those who aren't sure what to expect. In my own opinion, one should be open to taking the journey without placing all emphasis on the destination. All human disappointment comes when other people do not live up to our expectations. i have learned to limit my expectations to myself and thereby have very few disappointments. But then, you didn't ask for my advice. Yes, trust and connection, however you define it, and may i also offer, that relationship goals is what makes relationships work. No matter if the goal is casual, intense, monogomy, poly, or to raise hamsters, when people travel in the same direction, then it works. Best wishes.

Focus50 -> RE: Is this right? (11/27/2007 3:17:59 AM)
Welcome to the World of females posting personal profiles. A lotta flies and not much meat about - so guess what happens when "new meat" does arrive! The bottom feeders always seem to find the newbies first; probably because newbies can't see through their bullshit as readily. You're young, new, female and submissive - the top 4 criteria in one "package" so get used to arseholes and mail "meltdown".... I generally like the uncluttered simplicity of your "newbie" profile but one suggestion - you should avoid becoming slave to your email. IE, expect to get swamped by geek mail. If you stay true to your word (about promising to reply), you're gonna be spending hours a day just answering them. So you might wanna change that, such as you'll only reply to friendly, sincere and respectful msgs etc. And welcome to CM, too! :-) Focus.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Is this right? (11/27/2007 4:08:38 AM)
Go with your gut...it's usually an excellent weeding tool. You don't be a match for everyone...and everyone won't be a match for you. Some just get upset at the percieved rejection and at like children about it. Master Fire

Koala -> RE: Is this right? (11/27/2007 4:57:23 AM)
Aye, I'll agree with what's been said here. Until you agree to enter into a BDSM relationship with someone, they don't have a right to anything. A Dom that's seeking something healthy and mutually agreeable won't tell you what you want from the start - they'll ask, or tell you what THEY want and ask you for your thoughts. When you do decide to meet, do so somewhere public, make sure someone knows where you are, or will call you at a certain time, and don't play on a first meeting! It sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders, so keep going with your gut, and good luck!!!

takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: Is this right? (11/27/2007 4:59:16 AM)
Here is a cute story (i think) that might help. i came out into this lifestyle in May of 07 by going to a Munch and meeting the most wonderful female submissive who helped me get stawrted on my journey. i had been speaking to serveral men (friendly mostly) online, but i was not actually meeting anyone. so i came here. with no real time experience or knowing what to say. i just wrote in my profile how i felt and what i was looking for.In the first week i received 700 responses. Every time i read someone's profile by the time i was done ten more were there. And guess what? Here's the funny part. They al said they were in awe of my profile, because i sounded so honest and real. Mind you now these were the compliments from the flakes, the wannabe's and the weirdos, and the nuts. What's a girl to do? To be fair though i did for a while have contact with a couple of very nice Dominants who were gentleman. By the third week i was so overwhelmed with messages that i decided to just give up. i needed a break.. The last day i was planning to stay on. i received a message from a man. i decided that his would be the last. i was intrigued by his screen name. It wasn't a play on words on something nasty. or someone trying to be something that they're not. it was just his name. His first couple of messages were vanilla and so was our first talk on the phone. Suddenly everything was falling into place and i knew i found my Sir. i hope to one day wear his colar and to be his property forever. When we met in person it was like i had known him all my life and we have been together ever since. It took my entire life to find him, but he was surely worth the wait. Just remember never give up hope and never settle and that you have o kiss a lot of frogs to get a Prince.

domiguy -> RE: Is this right? (11/27/2007 6:01:19 AM)
Take your time, don't rush into anything. Never give out any personal information. When you meet, make it in a very public situation...A coffee shop or something similar. Have a finite time set for the first meeting....half hour or whatever....And enjoy. Chemistry can be wonderful thing. Just cuz you are feeling it doesn't mean the other person is. Don't let someone push you into any situation that you are uncomfortable with....These are some pretty good tips....Now let's fuck!

BrokenSaint -> RE: Is this right? (11/27/2007 8:12:13 AM)
I've heard of that happening alot when a girl first puts up a personal profile anywhere. 99% of it is probably desperate men wanting a quick fuck. That was always rather depressing to me about the vast majority of my gender. Off of a quick guess, I'd say most of them probably consider slaves/subs to be fairly easy marks. This is often not the case, but they keep trying. Follows a format similar to other spam, for every million messages they may get one mark, but it's so easy and quick to just send out a form message that the one mark makes it worthwhile. My advice mirrors what a few have already said. Be smart, and be wary. But dont doubt for a second there are people on here who are looking for something real. There are, just have to wade through the perpetual bullshit and spam and scams to get to them. Not too different from any other way of finding someone in the end.

toservez -> RE: Is this right? (11/27/2007 8:20:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eyesopened There are a whole lot of "dominants" who think new=stupid and young=has no bullshit radar. Those are the ones who check dilligently the "New Users" tab on their home page hoping they can bully their agenda onto those who aren't sure what to expect. In my own opinion, one should be open to taking the journey without placing all emphasis on the destination. All human disappointment comes when other people do not live up to our expectations. i have learned to limit my expectations to myself and thereby have very few disappointments. But then, you didn't ask for my advice. Yes, trust and connection, however you define it, and may i also offer, that relationship goals is what makes relationships work. No matter if the goal is casual, intense, monogomy, poly, or to raise hamsters, when people travel in the same direction, then it works. Best wishes. This is nicely stated. You have the right to seek out what you want. There is no such thing as right or wrong it is all about compatibility. I also agree a 100% with what LA said. All the people who write you are interested in you. Most are not going to be close to compatible but they do not care to think about that. If you have things you want that they do not or you have preferences that exclude them they will blow these issues off like they are totally unimportant or try to lecture you on being a naive fool. Stick to what you want in a relationship and those questioning you ignore. To echo AnimusRex’s great post, real is anyone who agrees with their beliefs, correspond with them and do what they say. Fake is anyone who turns them down.

velvetears -> RE: Is this right? (11/27/2007 8:21:22 AM)
i have read sooooooooo many of these types of threads about woman complaing in some way about negative feedback regarding their profile, whether it's to tell her shes a fake, or to try to control her from the get go, or to insult her in some manner. i have to question whether or not this is really happening out there. i can honestly say 75% of the replies i get are simply average. The other 25% are just one liners like "hey how are you?" - i am not saying you are doing this op, but being there is such a wide discrepency i have to wonder if subs "report" this on threads for attention, maybe even because they are getting no responses at all to their profiles.

IrishMist -> RE: Is this right? (11/27/2007 10:06:07 AM)
quote: But what most doms that are pming are telling me that I am a bitch and wrong. That it isnt about trusting or connecting its about the master picking me and tell me off the back what to do.... They are asses. Pure and simple [:)] As long as YOU feel that what you are looking for is RIGHT; then it's right. It's as simple as that.

DesFIP -> RE: Is this right? (11/27/2007 10:25:32 AM)
You're fresh meat. Them telling you this drivel is just them trying to get in your pants. No difference from some guy at a bar hitting on you. Just like you have every right at a bar to tell them to go away, you have the same right here. If you need a bondage top and not a sadist, stick to your guns. If you love bastinado and hate restraints, wait till you find someone with compatible interests. If you're a CSI aficionado and want to watch it with your lover, don't pick anyone who says they hate it and would forbid you to watch it. Don't bother to tell these types no thanks because they will assume that any response means you are just being coy, and when they do get it through their heads that you aren't interested, they'll start sending hate mail. Just delete and block.

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