ever punished for journals? (Full Version)

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kittyinpink -> ever punished for journals? (11/26/2007 9:42:04 PM)

It seems like alot of subs on here journal, so I have a journaling question. 

I was reading another subs livejournal and had a post that talked about her Dom using some of her journal entries against her.  I think the instance was along the lines of she expressed hatred for a certain flogger, and so he started to use it on her more for saying she hated it in her journal.

So has anyone ever had their Dom punish them for what they wrote in a sub/slave journal?  Or maybe use something they wrote against them later?



onlyHisgirl -> RE: ever punished for journals? (11/26/2007 9:44:34 PM)

i had my journal used against me...my "private" one for my bdsm friends.  Then i blocked people who weren't my friends since i didn't know which profile was His...big mistake.  He turned that journal into a "showcase" of O/our relationship complete with pics, entries, tasks, etc.  At the end of O/our relationship...i got rid of it.



Kalista07 -> RE: ever punished for journals? (11/26/2007 9:47:36 PM)

*shuddering at the thought* No, thankfully for me my journal is a place for me to describe my feelings, thoughts, beliefs, questions, random crap whatever...............Having said that however, i have also recently learned that writing it does not end it.....After he reads it my phone generally rings and we talk about whatever i wrote in there.
Just me though,
Kali



angelslave77 -> RE: ever punished for journals? (11/26/2007 9:49:36 PM)

my previous Dom did because he was an immature ass



Masterslena -> RE: ever punished for journals? (11/26/2007 9:49:45 PM)

i have never been punished per se for what i have written in my journals but have been punished for using the journals to attempt to manipulate Him...i am careful about what i say to Him at times because like the girl in the other post, my absolute hatred for a certain cane ensures its use...yuck!!!



SeraphinaKrow -> RE: ever punished for journals? (11/26/2007 9:52:19 PM)

I would never use my pet's journals against her. Usually if something strikes me in her journal, I respond to it, and we talk about the possibilities, or if she is uncomfortable with something we talk about how we can work it out. Either way, we make sure there is communication between us.
I want my pet to be as open and as honest as she possibly can, if she was to say something that was extremely private in her journal, I would never expose any of it. It is our secret... I believe in boundaries, and spreading something as sacred as a journal is a boundary that I will not cross.





laurell3 -> RE: ever punished for journals? (11/26/2007 9:54:01 PM)

Part of the reason to have a journal is to have a forum where you can express yourself in a nonconfrontational manner to you D.  So, in my opinion, punishing for it, unless the s purposefully added content that was insulting knowing it would hurt/anger etc. the D, would be inappropriate. 

However, people can't disregard information they learned based on source and I'm not sure using a flogger knowing that it bothers the s is a punishment.  In fact, that's also a function of journaling, the D knows how you feel about scenes emotionally and physically from the information obtained.  A sadist using the information they require to achieve their goals is not punishment, it's the nature of what they are and it's not "against them" to do the act as one assumes the s is in a consenting relationship with someone known to them to be a sadist.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: ever punished for journals? (11/26/2007 9:58:58 PM)

Well IMO thinking that a journal is some safe space where whatever you write has no consequences is BS. 

However, that's one of the reasons I don't really support the journal idea- I want them to say it to my face and TAKE responsiblity for what they say and what the consequences will be.

I also think actively taking something as bad or wrong without clearly expressing what the guidelines are beforehand is sloppy dominating.  I'm wondering how much of this incident is a matter of miscommunication and clumsiness on the part of the dom- how many sadists can we think of who LIGHT UP when their sub says "Oh god I hate that one!" and then go at it with even more energy, knowing they will get their sadistic pleasure and the sub can enjoy their submission more?

So it might just be that's what this dom did, but fucked it up by calling it a "punishment" and saying "because you said this in your journal, you'll get worse beatings" when he really means "I love knowing you hate this and it gets me off more that you'll take it"?

But seriously, while I won't punish a sub for voicing concerns- respect doesn't disappear just because it's written on the page and not spoken aloud.  And my reactions to what they say will NOT always be a smile and a soothing "That's ok"



hardcoredom -> RE: ever punished for journals? (11/26/2007 10:00:15 PM)

I think its all based on what kind of rules you have established in your relationship.  If you are completely owned then maybe they should be able to use it against you.  If you use it as a personal sanctuary for your thoughts and feelings then it should be held as so.  If your dom uses it against you because you don't like a certain punishment and that upsets you then you should talk about it with them.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: ever punished for journals? (11/26/2007 10:02:37 PM)

Hm I also think any dom who "uses something against their slave" needs to reassess why they have a slave.  Why would you want to use something against something you choose to own?  I may assess penalties or consequences for their actions- but I'm not using anything against them.



kittyinpink -> RE: ever punished for journals? (11/26/2007 10:46:03 PM)

There were some other subtle weird things going on her journal... and looking at it again i realized her posting ended in 2006.  It just seemed like alot of her journal entries "inspired" punishments from him... not a type of punishment but the punishment itself.  That would make me too skiddish to write openly.

As for my journal entries, He sends me emails after them and let me know his thoughts.  He's very good about replying to my entries and helping me to work through confusion rather than punish me over it.  



laurell3 -> RE: ever punished for journals? (11/26/2007 10:50:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittyinpink

There were some other subtle weird things going on her journal... and looking at it again i realized her posting ended in 2006.  It just seemed like alot of her journal entries "inspired" punishments from him... not a type of punishment but the punishment itself.  That would make me too skiddish to write openly.

As for my journal entries, He sends me emails after them and let me know his thoughts.  He's very good about replying to my entries and helping me to work through confusion rather than punish me over it.  



The example you gave of using a flogger the sub didn't like, isn't a punishment though and it's kind of presumed that the sub actually wants the discomfort/pain in a relationship with a sadist and would volunteer that information.  Are you referring to that or something else as "punishment"?



juliaoceania -> RE: ever punished for journals? (11/26/2007 10:51:30 PM)

quote:

So has anyone ever had their Dom punish them for what they wrote in a sub/slave journal?  Or maybe use something they wrote against them later


Not in a journal, no. Other places things communicated can and will be held against me and I know that they can and will be and I am prepared for that.



kittyinpink -> RE: ever punished for journals? (11/26/2007 11:03:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittyinpink

There were some other subtle weird things going on her journal... and looking at it again i realized her posting ended in 2006.  It just seemed like alot of her journal entries "inspired" punishments from him... not a type of punishment but the punishment itself.  That would make me too skiddish to write openly.

As for my journal entries, He sends me emails after them and let me know his thoughts.  He's very good about replying to my entries and helping me to work through confusion rather than punish me over it.  



The example you gave of using a flogger the sub didn't like, isn't a punishment though and it's kind of presumed that the sub actually wants the discomfort/pain in a relationship with a sadist and would volunteer that information.  Are you referring to that or something else as "punishment"?


Yah know, I looked back and the example I gave, while simple, doesn't really fit.  Here's a better (although longer) example of what was on her page that spooked me.

Her Dom started denying her orgasms for a couple days at a time.  She wrote in one of her journals that sometimes she would rather be spanked everyday than have an orgasm.

So her Dom's response was to say that she could either not be permitted to orgasm for an entire month, or be spanked everyday for an entire month.  Shortly after this her journal entries stopped.

To me it seems like he created a punishment for her just because of her journal entry. Not only that, but a pretty extreme punishment.  If she had never expressed her thoughts, he would have never given her that proposition.  Something seems wrong there...



angelslave77 -> RE: ever punished for journals? (11/27/2007 12:40:17 AM)

for me I was journalling as well as telling my now ex Dom how I had spent most of my teen years being emotionally blackmailed and how I could not stand that happening to me again, he also never expressed any interest in my life outside our D/s even when I tried to tell him,, so I just did not bother and his response to me not telling him was emotional blackmail, refusing to speak to me and turning my words against me as well as making threats eluding to self harm. but bassically he was just a childish asshole and apparently this was a common pattern for him.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: ever punished for journals? (11/27/2007 4:28:15 AM)

My policy currently is to not punish for what's in a journal, but I do hold them responsible. So, if they say they hate a certain flogger, I don't punish them about it...I ask them why. If I really like the flogger, I'll work with them to see if why they hate it can be changed.

But, in the end, it's up to what the two people negotiate.

Master Fire



takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: ever punished for journals? (11/27/2007 5:51:20 AM)

i have not be asked to keep a journal a of yet, but my Owner and i have the type of relationship where we can talk about everything and anything and of course i alway do it with respect and love.



forg0ttenclone -> RE: ever punished for journals? (11/27/2007 6:52:08 AM)

No journals here.  Those are baaad.  But i must say; judging purely from the responses - it appears more women do the journaling thing than men.  Either that or the men that do, have not quite come forward in saying so.  I do not do the journaling thing, but i have considered it.  I think way too much and sometimes i wonder if i decided to put it down on paper or in a private online journal - would that help?

As far as being punished for a journal goes, i don't think Goddess would punish me for a journal entry.  But we would openly discuss anything that was mentioned in an entry, if it had not been openly discussed previously. 

Now i can say if i said i hate a certain instrument, odds are that She will want to use it a bit more.  <laughs> Like a certain cane i wish i would not have purchased...

But on second thought, being the brat that i am... my mouth probably gets me in enough trouble without the need for a journal. <smirks> At least talking isn't written proof. "If at first you dont succeed erase all evidence that you ever tried." <polishes halo and glues to his hat>



onlyHisgirl -> RE: ever punished for journals? (11/27/2007 8:44:55 AM)

ha ha, i feel like i'm being punished for my journal entries now actually but by the community, lol.  i keep a back up copy (something i learned a long time ago) of all my journals vanilla and non (i have 8)...i know.  i have readers, long story.  anyway, when i thought my former master and i were going to get together...i "doctored" my cm journal with aches, longing, and missing because he said he was going to "see". 
i realized later that i didn't want to be with him, but didn't remember to change my journal entries back.  i then posted a question and people went straight to my "fake" journal to find a confused person missing her former owner!!!!  when they did this...i actually didn't know what they were talking about at first.  so i read and i was like oops, i don't miss him.  i feel sorry for him and any other woman who falls to his prey. i have now changed them back to their "original state" minus all the tears and longing.  [:D]

have you ever changed or altered journal entries in your/His favor even after He's seen them once?  just curious [:)] have a great day!



slaverosebeauty -> RE: ever punished for journals? (11/27/2007 8:55:21 AM)

I keep journals on and off-line; and most of my past partners have at least skimmed over them and with the understanding that they are MY thoughts, and that I cannot be punished for anything that is contatined in them.  Journals are places to get out that 'junk' that aclimates and you need to get it out, being punished for your feelings, thoughts, dreams, whatever is contradictory; why keep one if you might be punished or is something contained cana dn will be used a gainst you?1 Did you get your Miranda Rights read before you started keeping one?!
 
Journals can be a great way for someone to get out things that they have a hard time expressing verbally, even if it's just to comment on daily things or to vent, its healthy.  I have several hardbound journals, an I keep them safe, if I even thought that anything within their pages would or could be used against me by a partner, I would not be with that partner.



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