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LadyHugs -> RE: How do i find the perfect slave? (11/30/2007 11:54:01 AM)
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Dear Master5542, Ladies and Gentlemen;
I am of the belief that perfection can never be obtained. We, in general may wish for perfection in ourselves, others and or life itself.
However, as much as one may seek perfection--the person out there seeking a Master who is perfect will find themselves equally disappointed. For me, I would be happy with a person 80% of what I am looking for.
As a practicing Sadist and active member of my local M/s, S&M and BDSM community--I can assure you without reservation--that there are no boundary slaves and or masochists. The real thing about a person's boundaries is that those who haven't reached their ceiling yet, to which the boundary for them becomes solid when they are found and or reached. In addition slave and or masochist's boundaries change depending on who is TOPPING them and or in a Dominant position with them. In addition, emotions and outside world will play a part in a person's ability to achieve certain heights when in the position of slave and or masochists. I can easily recall an incident when I was doing a scene in southern Virginia; a 'known masochist' wanted a scene with me. That masochist quit the scene by calling a 'house safe word' and I was still in a warm up phase. That said, for the skill levels available at this particular location--this masochist could handle it all and frustrate the TOPS. However, I was far advanced than any had ever encountered before so--I exceeded everybody's boundaries and the dungeon was at a stand still because of how far advanced I was. It is a fact and not meant to be a bragging moment but, it is proof that boundaries are not set in stone and change moment to moment, especially in pain play and or pain manipulation and or reassignment.
As a seasoned Dominant--I too know that I shall never be an expert in all things however, I do know an awful lot and some things I know more than anybody else. Yet, I am never perfect for all people and know that it takes work to maintain perfection of one's skill yet--I know I am human and will have flaws and will make mistakes. If I know I am flawed and make mistakes--I know others will be much like me. Those who have deemed me an 'expert' are those who are in my peer group and or the local community. At times this judgment is beyond local and into overseas circles where my skills are judged 'as is.' That said, I know that I will not be seen as an expert by everybody for one reason or another.
I do realize Collarme.com really does not give much in the way of choices of ticking the areas of skills and or interests. This can often lead people to an assumption and or a perception that is not exactly on the mark but, catches a person having to make a choice in either ticking novice or expert. People wishing to be accepted will no doubt tick the expert. If they are and or not an expert--only a person knows how they really are and or those who know that person in real time.
For my personal tastes, I want a slave or masochist to have a boundary. I know they will not try to out perform what their body can honestly handle or to bully through things as not to be seen as a quitter. For some reason, some need to 'win' regardless of the risks--regardless what end of the whip they're on. Being a Master, a Mistress, a Dominant and or Sadist--is not thinking a relationship with a slave or masochist is a 'contest' or something to parade around like--as to shove it into other's faces. It is about doing right and being a good partner to the other person--not about an emotional pride trip and or ego stroking session at the expense of the other--such as a slave, a submissive and or masochist.
Anybody can 'beat' someone up. It really does not require much skill to 'beat someone.' The risks to the one beaten by someone who has too much ego or pride to work on the artistic and skills necessary to be body friendly while exacting pain in various places is an art form, is too high of a price to pay by a bottom/slave and or masochist. I highly recommend knowing anatomy before bondage and or pain play begins. Modern sadism is a developed skill. To be able to use two single tails at the same time and hit the edge of a dime as a target 9 to 10 times for 10 sent forward strokes is the time I feel safe to hit on an individual person's body. For me 3 out of 10 is sloppy and low skill and or accuracy. Modern sadism in my eyes is not an excuse for a TOP/Dominant to just pick up a tool, e.g. paddle, crop, flogger and such and just hit as hard as one can and 'hope' to be on target.
This is one reason why I personally urge any bottom, masochist, submissive and or slave to have a TOP/Dominant/Master or Mistress to demonstrate their skills on an object and see if they have control over their equipment, e.g. floggers, canes, single tails, paddles,etc.
Just some thoughts.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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