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Rant and Question about "wanna chat" - 11/28/2007 6:40:41 AM

BloodLuna

Posts: 403
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline

Ok, I'm probably just being a pregnant, hormonal dork who's pissy about 13 weeks on bed rest and sick of the darned hospital. (For all those who know me - thanks for the well wishes, I got to come home today but still no little one!!!)) I promise there IS a question at the end of this rant.

All of us, male, female, sub, dom, slave . . . whatever get letters constantly with the usual "want to chat" vein of those looking for online wanker material. No matter how many ways we say "NO CHAT" or "Live sevice only" in our profiles they still come with consistancy. After all, if someone emails enough people they're bound to find one person to give them a little juice for their fantasies. Yet, for those of us here seeking not online cyber jerking but either actual online relationships or live relationships with someone we can feel and touch, the bid for "free porn" gets horribly annoying. Yes, I know I can use the block button . . . not the point here. . .

What I'm wondering is, with the horrible view on pro-dommes in this community, is it appropriate, acceptable, or just screwed up for a Dominant to respond to one of those letters with "nothing is free - if you want cyber porn, what am I worth to you?" At most wouldn't it send the wankers packing to look for their free fun time somewhere else? If they actually take you up on the offer, does that make you whore, pro-dom/me, user, game player or just smart enough to take advantage of someone trying to take advantage of you?

Again, I'm just probably reacting to the massive amounts of hormones ramping up my irritability quotient - and my mind went a walkabout. But I'd be curious to hear what others think about this.

I promise not to go hormonal on anyone today! Well . . . to try not to anyway

Lady Luna

edited for horrible spelling, can I blame that on hormones too??? LOL

< Message edited by BloodLuna -- 11/28/2007 7:06:18 AM >

_____________________________

"Old goths never die, they just need less makeup"

Post #: 1

RE: Rant and Question about "wanna chat" - 11/28/2007 6:59:18 AM

AbsitInvidia

Posts: 164
Joined: 11/23/2007
Status: offline

Hahahaha

I tend to reply to "wanna chat" by asking them how on earth would I know if I want to chat with them as they have given me absolutely no information about their interests, personality, or intentions.

That usually makes them give up. I guess they didn't really want to chat.

_____________________________

-=SixFoot and Soshi=-

What most people call rights are merely social norms, they are expectations - but expectations can and will be violated on a daily basis. On her knees. In the mud. Hard, and savagely. Expectations likes it like that.

(in reply to BloodLuna)

Post #: 2

RE: Rant and Question about "wanna chat" - 11/28/2007 7:04:10 AM

LadyLynx

Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline

I havn't really noticed a dislike for Pro-Dommes, but I have for those who demand $$ that they don't/won't earn. I have responded in that fashion, I knew that by responding that way, he would go away, because he had just ranted about it on the threads a few days before. *smirks* Some people just don't want to read profiles, they just go down the list, one after another.

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to BloodLuna)

Post #: 3

RE: Rant and Question about "wanna chat" - 11/28/2007 7:06:02 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

That's clever. You probably wouldn't get many people agreeing to it, but how do you propose to collect the money for the few who will? Can you set up a pay pal account for this?

Why not figure out a form letter and start sending it out in response. You would amuse yourself, and that's something you need about now.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to AbsitInvidia)

Post #: 4

RE: Rant and Question about "wanna chat" - 11/28/2007 7:08:53 AM

BloodLuna

Posts: 403
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline

DesFIP: HAHAHAHAHA - Hmm, form letter? LOL *GRINS* I know just the person to have write THAT for me!! Oh Domiguy!!!!!!! . . . . .

Lady Luna

_____________________________

"Old goths never die, they just need less makeup"

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 5

RE: Rant and Question about "wanna chat" - 11/28/2007 7:16:43 AM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

To the first part.. about "wanna chat"..

I like chatting. It's good to be able to talk with people. Still, from your.. interesting.. take on "chatting", I'm assuming you're using it as a euphemism for something else..? (Or do you just not like conversation, or..?)

For the second part, about "what's it worth to you?"..

If you want to sell naked pictures of yourself, that's your own business. No, it's not very respectable. No, I doubt that, if I had any submissive tendancies, that I would submit to someone who put a price on her body, but, meh. Then again, I don't, so maybe sub's feel differently. However, it's your choice, so whatever works for you.

I would note, however, you seem to be rather upset at "wankers". While I've yet to be entirely clear on exactly what constitutes a "wanker", I'm not entirely sure if selling images of your body to someone you don't seem to have very many good things to say about is exactly healthy. I mean, doesn't that make you feel sort of.. devalued, defaced, or..?

For the "pregnant/hormonal" parts..

Happy pregnancy! Now's your chance to pig out on icecream. :D (Yes, I know, it's a hard time, but best make light of it or it's going to be a long nine months.)

(in reply to BloodLuna)

Post #: 6

RE: Rant and Question about "wanna chat" - 11/28/2007 7:23:07 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

The difference between someone that is a wanna be and real is It is in your heart of who you are. You can not change who you are no matter what coat you have on. Our Under lying character is the core of all we do and say and make happen. A True sub or slave gives because IT IS IN THEIR NATURE TO. Just like a Dom domme is in control or guiding because IT IS IN THEIR NATURE TO. So what you have to see is the fantasy freaks from the norm. Yes people there is a norm. It will save you a lot of heart ache and grief to stay way from swingers. scene freaks, and other sexual predatory types. Real people are just that human beings who know them selves better then anyone. We are not floor matts So for every fashion Nazi that does not get sorry thats on you. Love is a many splendor thing when it is for the right reasons. Not someone's agenda for a hornyout let

(in reply to BloodLuna)

Post #: 7

RE: Rant and Question about "wanna chat" - 11/28/2007 7:56:43 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

You can blame just about anything you want on hormones.

I must be one of the lucky ones...I have yet to receive a letter that indicated to me that they were just looking for wanker material from my "creative" mind. Most of the people who contact me do so with a sincere question or a compliment about something I've said or a teasing comment about some funny post that I made elsewhere.

However...if I were to receive a letter asking if I wanted to chat, I would reply very simply; something along the lines of "Sure...what would you like to chat about?" and then watch their next two or three responses very closely. If it indicated to me that they just wanted to pick my mind and not go anywhere with it, then depending on how mentally sadistic I was feeling, I just might try to be creative enough to tease but never go far enough that it is satisfying rather than frustrating, for one or two letters and then tell them "Sorry, that is as far as I go with someone who doesn't appreciate ME".

(in reply to BloodLuna)

Post #: 8

RE: Rant and Question about "wanna chat" - 11/28/2007 8:07:55 AM

BloodLuna

Posts: 403
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline

Curious Lord:

To the first part.. about "wanna chat"..

I like chatting. It's good to be able to talk with people. Still, from your.. interesting.. take on "chatting", I'm assuming you're using it as a euphemism for something else..? (Or do you just not like conversation, or..?) I'm not talking about chatting to get to know someone - I LOVE that. I enjoy spending time on yahoo getting to know the thoughts, wishes, dreams and desires of new friends and those who may wish to join my household. What I am talking about is those folks who say they want to "chat" and what THEY mean is they want you to tell them all the things they want you to do to them in pornographic detail. These are not the serious folks or the folks looking to learn, experience or grow but the ones that are looking for live chat porn and are too cheap to go pay for a dvd or phone sex.

For the second part, about "what's it worth to you?"..

If you want to sell naked pictures of yourself, that's your own business. No, it's not very respectable. No, I doubt that, if I had any submissive tendancies, that I would submit to someone who put a price on her body, but, meh. Then again, I don't, so maybe sub's feel differently. However, it's your choice, so whatever works for you. I actually have no desire to put a price on my sexuality - I think its a bit more valuable than that. And I would never sell images of myself on line - not that I mean disrespect to those that do - its good money I hear. But I'm a bit private about my photos - I don't even like to show my face on line.

However, since these guys are looking for free porn, surely the mention of a "price" would do exactly what you would think - send them packing looking elsewhere. Then again, I'm a romance author so 1/2 an hour of typing the "watching him strain against the ropes she reached for the lube..." style of crap these folks are looking for into an IM wouldn't be THAT hard to do - just an annoying waste of my free time - (wait, free time? I'm on bed rest watching reruns of Law and Order for goddess sake - talk about a waste of free time!!!! Honestly I'd rather watch another 12 hours of this crap than spend 1/2 an hour selling my talent with porn) . . . but it still leaves the question . . . Is there really something so disgusting about accepting a "salary" for what amounts to fictional writing?

I would note, however, you seem to be rather upset at "wankers". While I've yet to be entirely clear on exactly what constitutes a "wanker", I'm not entirely sure if selling images of your body to someone you don't seem to have very many good things to say about is exactly healthy. I mean, doesn't that make you feel sort of.. devalued, defaced, or..? I mean wanker in the literal sense of "someone who is looking for free porn so s/he can wank off with one hand while typing with the other." And again I would never sell my body to these people - but every once in a while I think it would be nice to take advantage of them the way they try to take advantage of those of us who are seriously seeking something real and tangable. (then my belief in karma kicks in and I decide its not worth becoming a cricket in the next life. LOL)

For the "pregnant/hormonal" parts..

Happy pregnancy! Now's your chance to pig out on icecream. :D (Yes, I know, it's a hard time, but best make light of it or it's going to be a long nine months.) Actually its been a very long 8 months. I'm actually about 32 weeks and have been on bed rest (and pelvic rest - thats medical chastity enforced by a sadistic doctor who I'm convinced hates me! LOL) for 13 weeks!!!!!! Ben and Jerry's has made a MINT off of me and my cherry cravings. LOL But a c-section is coming soon - hurray!!!! Thank you for your well wishes, and for your honest response!!!!

LadyLuna

_____________________________

"Old goths never die, they just need less makeup"

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 9

RE: Rant and Question about "wanna chat" - 11/28/2007 8:09:45 AM

BloodLuna

Posts: 403
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

The difference between someone that is a wanna be and real is It is in your heart of who you are. You can not change who you are no matter what coat you have on. Our Under lying character is the core of all we do and say and make happen. A True sub or slave gives because IT IS IN THEIR NATURE TO. Just like a Dom domme is in control or guiding because IT IS IN THEIR NATURE TO. So what you have to see is the fantasy freaks from the norm. Yes people there is a norm. It will save you a lot of heart ache and grief to stay way from swingers. scene freaks, and other sexual predatory types. Real people are just that human beings who know them selves better then anyone. We are not floor matts So for every fashion Nazi that does not get sorry thats on you. Love is a many splendor thing when it is for the right reasons. Not someone's agenda for a hornyout let

I like that alot - thank you for responding!!!!

Lady Luna

_____________________________

"Old goths never die, they just need less makeup"

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 10

RE: Rant and Question about "wanna chat" - 11/28/2007 8:15:02 AM

BloodLuna

Posts: 403
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

You can blame just about anything you want on hormones.

*GRINS* My Dom says he been spoiling me so much because a pregnant chick on a mood swing could probably kill someone and get away with it! I honestly don't know what crawled up my butt and died, I normally don't rant at all - I'm a fairly calm person most of the time. So thanks for your patience and your honest response!

_____________________________

"Old goths never die, they just need less makeup"

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 11

RE: Rant and Question about "wanna chat" - 11/28/2007 8:18:44 AM

MystressDream

Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BloodLuna

Ok, I'm probably just being a pregnant, hormonal dork who's pissy about 13 weeks on bed rest and sick of the darned hospital. (For all those who know me - thanks for the well wishes, I got to come home today but still no little one!!!)) I promise there IS a question at the end of this rant.

All of us, male, female, sub, dom, slave . . . whatever get letters constantly with the usual "want to chat" vein of those looking for online wanker material. No matter how many ways we say "NO CHAT" or "Live sevice only" in our profiles they still come with consistancy. After all, if someone emails enough people they're bound to find one person to give them a little juice for their fantasies. Yet, for those of us here seeking not online cyber jerking but either actual online relationships or live relationships with someone we can feel and touch, the bid for "free porn" gets horribly annoying. Yes, I know I can use the block button . . . not the point here. . .

What I'm wondering is, with the horrible view on pro-dommes in this community, is it appropriate, acceptable, or just screwed up for a Dominant to respond to one of those letters with "nothing is free - if you want cyber porn, what am I worth to you?" At most wouldn't it send the wankers packing to look for their free fun time somewhere else? If they actually take you up on the offer, does that make you whore, pro-dom/me, user, game player or just smart enough to take advantage of someone trying to take advantage of you?

Again, I'm just probably reacting to the massive amounts of hormones ramping up my irritability quotient - and my mind went a walkabout. But I'd be curious to hear what others think about this.

I promise not to go hormonal on anyone today! Well . . . to try not to anyway

Lady Luna

edited for horrible spelling, can I blame that on hormones too??? LOL

There are soooooo many worse things to get in your email than "do you want to chat". If I get one of those I will ask them to tell me more about themselves, and to impress me enough to peak my interest. <grin> The ones who really are sincere will do so.... and the following email will be specific questions about what they are really looking for, their experience level, marital status, etc....... and then I will decide if I want to move it to Yahoo or somewhere where we can chat.... The insincere ones don't bother to respond.

I don't believe that everyone wanting to chat is looking for wank off material. I enjoy chatting with someone for a little while to see if I may be interested in actually meeting them in person. If all they are looking for is a "penpal" however, I don't have the time.

_____________________________

Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

check out: www.enclaveproductions.com
www.enclavewest.com

(in reply to BloodLuna)

Post #: 12

RE: Rant and Question about "wanna chat" - 11/28/2007 8:27:01 AM

BloodLuna

Posts: 403
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline

Mystress Dream - OH i LOVE it when you respond!!! :) Believe me - I honestly do take the time to weed out the folks that really want to talk and get to know me from the "tell me what you'll do to me " types. And I was not in anyway implying that everyone who asks to chat is seeking this sort of interaction. I actually at one point had a series of "starter questions" that I emailed to those wanting to chat and the honest ones used them as spring boards for intelligent conversation while the less serious ones disappeared very quickly. I wonder if maybe the level of "wankers" as I've been putting it goes up around the holidays because the cold weather keeps everyone inside and bored.

Thank you for allowing me the chance to clarify that!!!

I would say I don't have the time to be somebody's penpal too - but I seem to have nothing but time and dirty dishes on my hands at the moment!!! Hey - I have the perfect porn fantasy . . . I can spend 1/2 an hour on my detailed fantasy of having my house cleaned from top to bottom while I sit in bed with Ben and Jerry's ice cream and the tv remote!! Now THATS jerk off material - oh wait, I can't do that either LOL

Lady Luna

_____________________________

"Old goths never die, they just need less makeup"

(in reply to MystressDream)

Post #: 13

RE: Rant and Question about "wanna chat" - 11/28/2007 8:34:49 AM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

Honestly I'd rather watch another 12 hours of this crap than spend 1/2 an hour selling my talent with porn) . . . but it still leaves the question . . . Is there really something so disgusting about accepting a "salary" for what amounts to fictional writing?
For the selling bit, I'm typically under the impression that it's not disgusting, just that it's degrading. Because, no matter what you do in life, one's sexuality is typically not for sale. It's that human part of them that's considered to be, in some ways, divine; there's no price on it, only intimacy can earn it, no Bill Gates can just use it.

I guess I don't think badly of prostitutes, just.. they've put a very real, monetary price on their sexuality. If one were to be intimate with them and acheive the same, then, in ways, it feels like that intimacy's also priced.. "I could've gotten to this part a week ago for $50- just an hour or two at my job!"

Ah wells. I guess it's a subject for a different thread, but it's one of interest, I suppose, as so many threads have been about prostitution lately.

---

Eight months, though? No wonder you're talking about hormones getting to you a bit! Well, congratulations; you've almost made it!

There aren't many things out there so beautiful or precious as a mother's love. I suppose you'll be feeling this way about your baby, soon. I'm not sure if there's anything which inspires more hope for the future than a newborn baby sleeping peacefully after such a long ordeal as pregnancy.. having someone you love to take care of and seeing yourself reflected in a new generation, almost beating mortality in a way as life grows and continues.

Ah wells. I'm a sap, but, again, congratulations and good luck!

(in reply to BloodLuna)

Post #: 14

RE: Rant and Question about "wanna chat" - 11/28/2007 8:48:01 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

Ditto to that. I get them in the mornings and just ignore them. In my more evil days I would bait them with
A. about what
B. anything you want
A. weather
B. it is hot here I am naked.
A. How fascinating. *yawn*. I think I will cool off in the pool, enjoy your naked day.

Heh.. but that got predicable after a while. Now I read the email or message, and just x out.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: AbsitInvidia

Hahahaha

I tend to reply to "wanna chat" by asking them how on earth would I know if I want to chat with them as they have given me absolutely no information about their interests, personality, or intentions.

That usually makes them give up. I guess they didn't really want to chat.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to AbsitInvidia)

Post #: 15

RE: Rant and Question about "wanna chat" - 11/28/2007 9:38:41 AM

forg0ttenclone

Posts: 62
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline

There are those of us submissives that do seek to genuinely chat, get to know, and learn from other's wisdom. Even still, if we send along an email to a Dominant that is nearby/local, that is well thought out, intelligent, and genuine. Odds are you do not get a response, if you do, it's rather rude. I've experienced this in the past. Not that i sent many of those kinds of emails, it was once in a blue moon. But still, most replies were equally rude; as if you were looking for a wank session, despite stating otherwise.

Personally, i don't look down on Pro-Dom/mes. Though i do look down on those that call themselves pros and probably have about as much experience, if not less, than someone that calls themselves an amateur. I think they could end up hurting someone. But, it's much like any other field - shade tree mechanics, fly-by night doctors, etc... You always run that chance of running into fakes and frauds.

As far as wankers go. Unfortunately, you will never get rid of them. The only thing you can really do is hope to have some fun with them in some way, shape, or form. Be creative. Tell'em if they're really serious to go to a local beauty salon and have all of their body hair waxed from head to toe and include pictures, both before and after. Then tell them, maybe then, you will consider chatting with them. Something stupid and fun which could be humiliating for them. <shrug> Just an idea. I've always liked playing with stupid people, myself. They make for fun toys.

Anyhow, i'm done rambling for now. Oh, and btw... It's not your hormones. =P Best of luck with your pregnancy, though.

_____________________________

Pete

"I have fallen to my knees unable to rise, what kind of trap is this? What kind of chains have tied my hands and feet? It is so strange, so wonderful this helplessness of mine!"

(in reply to BloodLuna)

Post #: 16

RE: Rant and Question about "wanna chat" - 11/28/2007 9:53:52 AM

slaverosebeauty

Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline

I have a tendancy to respond to the 'wanna chat' with, "with someone intelligent. Guess that counts you out." Short. Sweet. To the point.

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"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to forg0ttenclone)

Post #: 17

RE: Rant and Question about "wanna chat" - 11/28/2007 10:07:31 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Men don't get strange women emailing them asking for cyber sex out of the blue. They do appear to be asking for pornographic stories tailored to their preference. Not much difference than a magazine editor telling you to write a story on Obama, or shoes shown at fashion week.

You wouldn't expect a mechanic to fix your car for free, so why expect someone to use their talent for your sole benefit when they get nothing out of it. If you're that bored, write up a letter explaining your terms, I doubt you'll make that much money but who knows. There's a market for phone sex, there's probably a market for cyber sex.

My recollection of friends and family on last trimester bed rest was that they didn't need to eat the ice cream, they gained the weight just watching the commercials. Ten more weeks and you're off the sofa! Shall we start a count down?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)

Post #: 18

RE: Rant and Question about "wanna chat" - 11/28/2007 10:43:26 AM

pinksugarsub

Posts: 1224
Status: offline

i usually accept invites to chat, but as it says in my profie, i am looking to begin as friends. That means i don't want to be interrogated about my intimate life in a 1st IM. i've gotten better at leaving the IM and deleting the chatter if i don't feel respected or valued.

pinksugarsub

_____________________________

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 19

RE: Rant and Question about "wanna chat" - 11/28/2007 12:11:53 PM

sexyone4you

Posts: 613
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline

I think because you're hormonal and pregnant, I will do the safe thing and agree. ;) Good luck to you & your little one!

(in reply to pinksugarsub)

Post #: 20

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