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RE: A subs' physical appearance... - 11/28/2007 5:13:26 PM   
brat4U2


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/31/2007
Status: offline 		It is important that each Dom and sub be attracted to one another.  If the Dom then wishes His sub to keep herself a certain way i.e. hair length, nails groomed, down south kept,  He should make those wishes known. The sub should do  these things for her Dom.  It shows she has pride in herself and respect for Him and a sub IS a reflection of a Dom/Master.  It also shows obdience.

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: A subs' physical appearance... - 11/28/2007 5:33:28 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Physical appearance is important for everyone, when it comes to a first meeting.  Everyone does not have to be Angelina or Brad, but offline, that is the first thing that we notice about a person.  The initial physical attraction is what gets us talking and learning all the other wonderful things that intrigue us and turn us on.
 
It is when you know someone and all those things that turn you on about them, that the importance of physical appearance fades. 



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"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to brat4U2)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: A subs' physical appearance... - 11/28/2007 5:40:20 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Not to anyone in particular, but am i correct in thinking most ladies could train a submissive if the chemistry was there but not the looks, as oppossed to having the looks but not the chemistry ?

Thank You in advance for any replies


Yes, and in fact, for me at least, since sex isn't necessary in my mind I have even owned two slaves in the past whom I was not physically or sexually attracted to.

Now I personally also believe this was a factor then when offered a job opportunity in another state they took said job instead of staying with me. I'm very cool with that -- at the time it did hurt a bit but you know, you get over hurt feelings when the intention is purely positive.

At the end of it all, this is about two (or more) adults consenting to be in these relationships and either of us can leave then at any time though how we do it may vary for example a slave may request his freedom and be granted it while dom may simple say "we're done" but in reality not allowing said slave to leave would then be pushing until into non-consentual and that doesn't fly with me.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 11/28/2007 5:42:18 PM >

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(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: A subs' physical appearance... - 11/28/2007 5:47:13 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsirisSub

Is this an important factor for when You decide on whether or not to take on a sub/slave? I.e do you have to find the person attractive?



Depends on her wants. If she wants him for sex, yes to some degree.

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(in reply to OsirisSub)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: A subs' physical appearance... - 11/28/2007 7:54:26 PM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Not to anyone in particular, but am i correct in thinking most ladies could train a submissive if the chemistry was there but not the looks, as oppossed to having the looks but not the chemistry ?

Thank You in advance for any replies


More often than we'd like to admit, the chemistry isn't possible without the looks.

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: A subs' physical appearance... - 11/28/2007 7:59:22 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I am not so sure.  Looking back at the exceptional relationships I have had, the looks have had little or nothing to do with it.  It does help not to have a specific "type" in mind.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: A subs' physical appearance... - 11/28/2007 8:05:55 PM   
angelslave77


Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		Attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder, I think my Sir is Hot and no doubt initally that helped when were first together, but we also conected on so many other levels and without those all the good looks in the world would not hold a relationship together

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: A subs' physical appearance... - 11/29/2007 2:38:01 AM   
Dragynsfury


Posts: 79
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		I have to agree with LadyHibiscus.  I  thought about some of the men I've been with and the only thing they have in common is...Tall, short, black, white, skinny, large, muscular, nerdy or other they could make me laugh and were awesome people to hang out with outside of the BDSM.   For me is just easier to progress to a different level if there is a connection that isn't all about the BDSM.

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(in reply to angelslave77)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: A subs' physical appearance... - 11/29/2007 3:36:12 AM   
MamaDomme


Posts: 283
Joined: 12/28/2006
Status: offline 		I have to agree with the other posts so far.  Yes, I do need some sort of initial attraction, but from the initial meeting on, there has to be chemistry to keep it going.  And many different things will cause me to find someone attractive-- intelligence is a big one for me.  Just being able to hold a conversation and sharing similar interests goes much farther than just looks.

I've met some very attractive people that turn out to be very ugly on the inside.  I would much rather see the beauty within and cultivate something from there.

And again, what I may find attractive to me, may not be what someone else finds attractive.

(in reply to OsirisSub)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: A subs' physical appearance... - 11/29/2007 4:12:00 AM   
PlayfulGoddess


Posts: 66
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline 		 

Since most of my play is sexually based--YES, I need to feel some physical attraction to the person submitting to me. However, that is only INITIAL attraction... If there is no connection mentally, emotionally, then it dies rapidly. When asked what I'm looking for in a man I say:


I'm looking for a smart, sexy, handsome (to me) , fun, funny, playful man who is a gentlemanly perv as well! (ok, so one with a full head of hair to run my fingers thru as well) LOL


Physically they tend to be on the tallish side -- as in heels I'm nearly 6', generally athletic in their body type (give or take 10 lbs or so), have pretty eyes, with a dynamite smile and are well-groomed and smell great. I LOVE LOVE LOVE legs! (ok a nice tushy and a pretty cock don't hurt either!)

They tend to range in age from 33 to 43 as I need to have some "common ground" with them too. (but have dated as young as 28--but he was "mature"; and as old as 49, but he looked 10 years younger)

< Message edited by PlayfulGoddess -- 11/29/2007 5:13:44 AM >

(in reply to MamaDomme)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: A subs' physical appearance... - 11/29/2007 4:14:01 AM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, I like to be attracted to my subs... I have to feel a connection and chemistry or I get bored.  Good looks do not always mean someone will be attractive to me tho', like other before me I want someone I can converse with, laugh with, click with.

Oumae

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(in reply to OsirisSub)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: A subs' physical appearance... - 11/29/2007 4:16:22 AM   
Dari


Posts: 192
Joined: 10/8/2007
Status: offline 		In the past, when shopping for a vanilla boyfriend, there's a specific physical "type" for which I looked.  Fortunately, I'm done with that pretense now.

As far as subs go?  They must be intellectually attractive to me.  If you can't hold my attention, and we can't carry on a conversation, then what good are you to me?  Where the physical is concerned though, I don't actually care what you look like, so long as a few things are true - you have to be clean, and for me, clean-shaven, and you have to be sturdy.  If I look at you and think you're likely to break if I get deep into a scene, um - no.  Other than that though, I don't really have any physical specific - because the mental, intellectual chemistry trumps it every time.

There is something so intoxicating, so pleasing about a man looking up to me, offering himself to me, that the act of submission makes looks largely irrelevant.  In truth, submission itself pleases me so well, from time to time it makes gender irrelevant, and for me that's quite outside the norm.

(disclaimer:  I cast no aspersions on same-sex anything, just note in passing that it's not particulaly my predilection)

(in reply to MamaDomme)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: A subs' physical appearance... - 11/29/2007 4:59:50 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Yes if there is no attraction, chemistry, there could be no relationship as far as I am concerned. But then again I'm not into the "drop dead" attractive guys most of them are too egotistical for my tastes. I like the big teddybear types with intelligence and a good sense of humor.

~Lashra


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(in reply to OsirisSub)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: A subs' physical appearance... - 11/29/2007 9:44:08 AM   
catleggs


Posts: 31
Joined: 10/24/2006
From: Gravesend, UK
Status: offline 		Yes, I do have to find them attractive before I will take them on.  I'm not talking about born looking like Brad Pitt or whoever , but rather they must have enough self respect to take care of themselves.

You only get one chance at first impressions.  If the sub doesn't have enough self respect to look after himself, especially when presenting himself as 'an offering' then how much respect is he going to have for  Mistress/sub relationship?

Natural born looks are nice, however, most people can 'look attractive' if they take care in their self maintenance and presentation.

Cat


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(in reply to OsirisSub)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: A subs' physical appearance... - 11/29/2007 10:25:01 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Ms Catleggs is absolutely right!  And that first impression goes with pictures as well.  I am not saying that everyone needs a gorgeous pic, but a nice one that reflects you in a good light, not all snarly and scruffy.

Unless of course you ARE all snarly and scruffy.  :)

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: A subs' physical appearance... - 11/29/2007 2:13:42 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I feel like I just answered this same question on another board.  In fact, I did.  Here's the copy/paste.
 
I'm sorry to sound so harsh, but this sounds like one of those 'the physical form isn't important' posts.
 
Like it or not, if I don't have the physical chemistry with someone, it isn't worth My time.  They may be the greatest person in the world, but if there's no attraction there, it simply isn't going to work out.  For a very long time, one of My mottos has been 'not everyone is for everyone one else'.  That's true in the physical, as well as mental, emotional, and spiritual catagories.  I'm not physically perfect, and I don't expect anyone else to be...... but there does have to be a certain amount of appeal.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: A subs' physical appearance... - 11/29/2007 2:38:56 PM   
deeddlit


Posts: 484
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Chemistry is the biggest factor for me.  If we don't have it...it will not matter how beautiful someone is.

Being "attracted" to that person is going to fall into that realm.  For me, I would say someone's pesonality  is THE, hands down, biggest turn on or off for me.


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: A subs' physical appearance... - 11/29/2007 4:40:56 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		I try to appreciate whatever a person has to offer.  I find that my perceptions of people tend to flow from my feelings toward them, rather than vice versa.  If I like a man and find his personality sexy--he'll look good to me.

(in reply to deeddlit)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: A subs' physical appearance... - 11/29/2007 4:47:38 PM   
MistressSadie69


Posts: 13
Joined: 10/13/2007
Status: offline 		Absolutely! As shallow as it sounds, if i'm going to allow someone to worship my feet or body, I would like to be able to enjoy it, and not feel repulsed, lol.

However- that said, if you don't have the brains, personality and sense of humor to back the exterior up, you may as well look like Napoleon Dynamite to me.

I would also like to add that a.) beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder, and b.) Great personalities (and my 2 definite requirements-great taste in music, awesome sense of humor) can make those that aren't all that attractive, shoot up to the very attractive level in my book.


(in reply to deeddlit)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: A subs' physical appearance... - 11/29/2007 5:43:23 PM   
LadyLegs


Posts: 176
Status: offline 		I find I am drawn to people not based on the way they look as much as the way that I feel around them. 
 
Yes I like men that take care of themselves & I would prefer they have a belly that is smaller than mine was when  I was pregnant,  but those things fade away when I am looking in a pair of eyes that are filled with pleasure because we are friends.

(in reply to MistressSadie69)
Profile   Post #: 40
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