If.............

If............. (Full Version)

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Sasy -> If............. (8/12/2005 6:33:33 PM)
If you could tell someone coming into the lifestyle or curious even just one thing that you knew they would hear and heed........ What would it be ? I would tell them to learn themselves first before trying to find someone to share it with.

greenie -> RE: If............. (8/12/2005 6:44:01 PM)
Read, read, read, read! anything and everything they could get their hands on! books and internet. then ask questions! as many as necessary.

perfection20005 -> RE: If............. (8/12/2005 7:19:41 PM)
To be honest with themselves and their partner, and make sure they can communicate about their wants needs.

kisshou -> RE: If............. (8/12/2005 7:40:55 PM)
Find someone experienced and trustworthy to be a sounding board and keep you realistic in the beginning when you are in a frenzy and aching to fulfill your submissive needs.

Lordandmaster -> RE: If............. (8/12/2005 7:48:12 PM)
I agree with this completely. quote: ORIGINAL: perfection20005 To be honest with themselves and their partner, and make sure they can communicate about their wants needs.

pinkpleasures -> RE: If............. (8/12/2005 7:56:06 PM)
i don't know what you mean by "coming into this lifestyle". Coming onto collarme, i would have been lost without my mentor. Be there for your friend; teach her to read profiles as well as letters; explain the skills and interests; try to instill in her the need for safety. Welcome to a new person! pinkpleasures

nonuts4thshoney -> RE: If............. (8/12/2005 7:57:08 PM)
i would tell them to take things slow and learn one thing at a time.

RavenofPK -> RE: If............. (8/12/2005 8:13:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sasy If you could tell someone coming into the lifestyle or curious even just one thing that you knew they would hear and heed........ What would it be ? Greetings, I won't speak of the "bdsm" side of things, for I don't consider it a lifestyle. But for the Gorean lifestyle, I would suggest they turn around, and run, fast as they can, in the other direction. Not because it is an awful way to live one's life, but more so it is a very taxing, and difficult way to live one's life. Very, very few manage to walk the walk. And if then, they still persist to live in such a way, I would suggest reading all the books (not just the first few), more than once, and spend a few years searching inside themselves for their true, honest nature. It's not an "overnight" revelation. It's an endless journey. Raven

quietlilone -> RE: If............. (8/12/2005 9:00:21 PM)
Looking beyond the bitter overtone of the above message, I would agree with the last remark. You can't just jump in feet first and expect to know it all in an instant, you have to take your time, keep learning, and exploring and finding your own personal limits, before you put yourself into someone elses hands that is going to test them. Make certain this is what you truly want, need even, or you'll end up miserable and maybe even in an unsafe situation. JMO.

comesoncommand -> RE: If............. (8/12/2005 9:52:18 PM)
A phrase a good friend shares with me on a continuous basis...Above all, be true to yourself.

junecleaver -> RE: If............. (8/12/2005 11:44:23 PM)
Don't talk to much, you'll end up eating your words. You gotta learn the walk before you can talk about it.

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: If............. (8/13/2005 12:09:03 AM)
Behave like an independent responsible mature adult, even if you aren't one.

Fidelity -> RE: If............. (8/13/2005 12:47:24 AM)
You can't wear the cuffs ALL the time.[;)]

luvdragonx -> RE: If............. (8/13/2005 1:06:46 AM)
I would tell them to find out as much as they can on their own. I'd also say don't take any one person's word as gospel - make your own decisions based on who you are.

sub4hire -> RE: If............. (8/13/2005 10:49:10 AM)
To always remember to value themselves first and foremost.

Fawne -> RE: If............. (8/13/2005 11:09:05 AM)
" It is not just a game" "it" is multi level, layered and complex. A game that can touch the senses: body, soul, mind. Intellect and primal core. One will change; or rather evolve, perhaps come home. Plus, its a hell of a good time! )

Nuke718 -> RE: If............. (8/13/2005 11:21:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: perfection20005 To be honest with themselves and their partner, and make sure they can communicate about their wants needs. You nailed it. If you can't be honest about what you want, chances are good you will not like what you get. N }:-

subversiveone -> RE: If............. (8/13/2005 11:30:37 AM)
i would tell them to try it in real life with an existing partner... i see too many women discover it online, get crazed with desire and then experience it for the first time with someone sexually that maybe they've got no real history with. not only is that dangerous but it can leave them with a skewed sense of what it's really like. the only exception i can think of is if you're lucky enough to find an experienced mentor right away or you join a local play party that can give you a 'taste' safely. the second best piece of advice would be to put actual sex on the backburner during the initial stages (again especially if this is a new partner) because if you can establish your feelings on it outside of play, you'll be better for it in the long run.

nenakajira -> RE: If............. (8/14/2005 10:39:40 PM)
To understand yourself.. your needs and desires and the reasons behind them.. the good bad and ugly.. before you decide to become part of something of this nature. To embrace your true nature and fully accept every part of yourself first.. otherwise, youre just along for a ride.

comesoncommand -> RE: If............. (8/14/2005 10:46:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Fawne " It is not just a game" "it" is multi level, layered and complex. A game that can touch the senses: body, soul, mind. Intellect and primal core. One will change; or rather evolve, perhaps come home. Plus, its a hell of a good time! ) Wonderfully put!

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