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Getting used to Daddy - 11/28/2007 1:04:07 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		This dynamic is very interesting to me. I find I want to relate to my Master in this way. He has expressed an interests in being a Daddy in the relationship as well. I'm just at a loss as to where we go with this, now that we know we want this. Neither of us have ANY experience being in the Daddy/girl dynamic

I do know this...That the idea of sex while He is in Daddy mode, and I am in baby girl mode is not at all attractive to me, so I guess thats a start. Perhaps getting used to calling Him Daddy would be a good step. I know when He calls me baby girl I actually swoon...LOL

So...does anyone remember back to the very beginning ? How did it start out?


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RE: Getting used to Daddy - 11/28/2007 1:09:32 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		~sweet smile~

Ahhhhh, Candy. When I met Aba, it just fell into place. It fit perfectly, and nothing else would have worked in that dynamic. I hadn't had a pure Daddy / daughter (Aba / yaldah) relationship before him and can't imagine finding such a good fit again (although you never know, I know).

"Daddy" would be a little hard for me to muster I think, but "Aba" worked very very well. Can you come up with an alternate word that would be more comfortable for you?

(in reply to breatheasone)
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RE: Getting used to Daddy - 11/28/2007 1:12:13 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		in the begining, he and i had talked a LONG time about what we both wanted.  (by long, i mean hours at a time, days in a row).  and in that, we both came to the conclusion that what i need is someone who loves me, will discipline me when necessary, who understands my limitations and will respect them, and who will always be there for me, care for me, and whom i can love, respect, and wish to serve.

yes, being in "little girl" mode and adding sex to it, isnt a good thing.  how we handle that is (a) i'm his lil girl and NOT daughter.  no, ick, bad memories and worse headspace. just, no.  (b) most of the pet names he uses for me are "little one", "little slave", things like that.  and that works because despite the picture of us, i'm short enough for him to easily rest his chin on top of my head.  (we were sitting in the photo)

Daddy loves me as i am, with all my faults and flaws, and i absolutely adore him.

kitten, smiling

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RE: Getting used to Daddy - 11/28/2007 1:14:19 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Before we met in person ( we had been having daily conversations for about a month) I asked him what his submissives called him, and he hesitantly answered he liked to be called "Daddy". I was familiar with what a daddy dom was, so it was not out of left field that he wanted me to refer to him in this way. He asked me if I wanted to try saying it to see how it felt, so I  said "daddy" into the phone... and it felt weird at first.

I did not refer to him as my Daddy until the first time he played with me... but I do not relate to him as a baby girl ever... so that was not an issue. I call him Daddy most of the time. It is just what I call him.

The term just sets up the mood for the dynamic for me.. which is not what a master or sir is.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Getting used to Daddy - 11/28/2007 1:26:15 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		sex with someone i called Daddy, while calling him Daddy, didn't actually come till my second Daddy Dom and that was very uncomfortable, because he insisted, it wasn't my idea...and there hasn't been anyone i have been comfortable with, yet....have a feeling that will change soon...but anyway...

remembering back to when i first discovered the dynamic that fit so well for me...i only called him Daddy in non sexual situations...that means the second sex or bdsm or anything like that was introduced it was back to Master...but at the store or when we were at dinner or at the movies or watching tv or any of the "vanilla" things we did...i called him Daddy...and then it wiggled its way into the D/s side of things...with the authority, still no sex, just authority and then control...and it grows, as you're comfortable from there....

good luck
chelle


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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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RE: Getting used to Daddy - 11/28/2007 1:29:21 PM   
kittyinpink


Posts: 83
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		There are sooo many different Daddy Dom/ little girl dynamics.  I learn a new one everyday *winks to juliaoceania*

I think calling him Daddy (or another similar alternative) would be a great first step.  For me it was kind of embarassing to call Him Daddy at first, even though i was 100% in love with the idea.  I think I said "Sir" a lot at first and would only use "Daddy" when it felt appropriate.  The more I said it the easier it got.  Now it's "Daddy" most of the time and "Sir' when it's appropriate.  Ch Ch Ch Changes!




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RE: Getting used to Daddy - 11/28/2007 1:35:28 PM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		In the beginning we talked back and forth on IMs and email....i only called him once (for the first 6 wks or so)....During our messaging time he would sign things as Daddy or by his name.....This helped me get comfy with the idea.

During that time, during the getting to know eachother phase i never refered to him as anything at all...i would leave messages on his phone or when he answered and i would just say "Hi it's me"...i didn't want to get used to calling him by his name and have to switch it up in the middle. i also didn't feel it was right to call him Daddy until i knew that he would be Daddy to me.

It also didn't hurt that i called the Dom in my head Daddy...never even being aware that there was such a thing as a Daddy Dom or Daddy/girl dynamic. So it was kind of natural.

Although we rarely touch on any kind of age play in any sexual way, when we do it is something very good for me (for reason that i personally understand)....We do alot of cuddling and he is very Daddyish then....the rest of the time he is my Master who happens to be  Daddy.....He is always both.

Edited to add: It would feel just as awkward for me to get used to calling him Master, since Daddy is the only thing i have ever called him.


< Message edited by daddyncherry -- 11/28/2007 1:36:26 PM >

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Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

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RE: Getting used to Daddy - 11/28/2007 1:50:01 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		He found this cool description online about what a Daddy/little girl relationship was and sent it to me. I was amazed that we had already developed a D/lg mindset. It was weird to call him Daddy, but that became much easier over time. I don't ever call him by his name to his face, so Daddy has become his name. I'm now working on calling him by his other name, Master, and finding that is taking some getting used to as well.

Being in a D/lg for us isn't a role play. I have a natural tendency to act like a 5-year old in my attitude. I don't play with toys or watch cartoons, but I love to have fun and play. He doesn't treat me like his daughter or a child, but I am his little girl and he is very much as a Daddy should be. He is nurturing, wise, funny, indulgent, strict, and everything I need.

We are also Master/slave and we play very intense when we scene. At those times I may call him Daddy but it is with a different feeling than when I'm in my 5-year old mindset.

It's a hard relationship to describe and you have to find what works for you. Listening to what others have to say is fun and can be helpful, but in the end it comes down to how you and your Daddy want to work your relationship.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

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RE: Getting used to Daddy - 11/28/2007 3:17:52 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		Thankyou ladies for answering me... quite a few things Y'all have said really strikes a chord with me.... I'm looking forward to exploring this with my Master.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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RE: Getting used to Daddy - 11/28/2007 3:57:41 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		My advice tends to be in line with who I am- just let it go where it goes.  Be open to the experience.  Go into toy shops and ice cream parlors and cliched situations where daddy's typically take their daughters to spoil and enjoy them non sexually and see how you both respond. 

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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RE: Getting used to Daddy - 11/28/2007 4:10:43 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		 
quote:

ice cream parlors


Yes, he takes me out for ice cream... although I do not think it has anything to do with him being my Daddy, maybe it does and I never made the connection

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Getting used to Daddy - 11/28/2007 4:51:59 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

My advice tends to be in line with who I am- just let it go where it goes.  Be open to the experience.  Go into toy shops and ice cream parlors and cliched situations where daddy's typically take their daughters to spoil and enjoy them non sexually and see how you both respond. 


~smiling~ That's lovely, LA. Even the thought of it puts me in that headspace.

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RE: Getting used to Daddy - 11/28/2007 6:15:59 PM   
gcarlos


Posts: 98
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Master and i have talked about this dynamic, but because we have UMs together it really does not work for us.  It just does not feel right. 

Master's {girl}

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RE: Getting used to Daddy - 11/28/2007 7:17:21 PM   
addisonclarkgirl


Posts: 346
Joined: 7/16/2006
Status: offline 		For me, it began with my real dad.  I know...just listen :) 

I was always Daddy's girl.  I was the oldest daughter, and I adored him like neither of my sisters did.  We had the same personality, would do lots of things together, had the same interests.  It was never, ever sexual.  I was just Daddy's little girl. 

The year I entered college, two major things happened in his life that began to change our relationship.  He had heart surgery, which gave him a different outlook on life.  He also lost his job as a vice president in a bank, to working on the line at a factory.  This changed him dramatically.  Both of these things made him bitter and angry.  He drew into himself.  He was not the same person, and I honestly tried to keep the relationship the same, but it slipped and slipped away.

I still love my dad to pieces, but I wanted that type of relationship with someone again.  It was a void in my life that I needed filled so badly.  I am submissive, and played around at the slave thing and then to the submissive thing, but the more I looked inside of myself, I realized I need a Daddy.  I am a little girl.  I need that type of relationship for me to be me. 

I don't know if I went about it the right way when I first began this whole journey.  The first Daddy I had was more into ageplay.  That was a role.  I wasn't looking for a role.  I was looking for a niche; something that could fit me all of the time, not just during sex.  Ageplay is fun at times, but it doesn't fulfill the desire for the dynamics I was looking for. 

I have had that a few times, and I now know the difference.  Daddys who are just looking for a little girl during sex are not high on my list.  I'm a little girl through and through. 

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RE: Getting used to Daddy - 11/28/2007 9:12:32 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

My advice tends to be in line with who I am- just let it go where it goes.  Be open to the experience.  Go into toy shops and ice cream parlors and cliched situations where daddy's typically take their daughters to spoil and enjoy them non sexually and see how you both respond. 

Yes I can see this....Him being there for me, allowing me to be a little girl ...something I lacked growing up.



_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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candy posts in pink font

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RE: Getting used to Daddy - 11/28/2007 11:48:10 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gcarlos

Master and i have talked about this dynamic, but because we have UMs together it really does not work for us.  It just does not feel right. 

Master's {girl}


see...i grew up southern.  its literally no head turner at all to see a grown woman address her husband as Daddy when they have yardapes together.  he often calls her Mama or Mother, but of course that's a bit different.

kitten

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RE: Getting used to Daddy - 11/29/2007 3:37:21 AM   
TysGalilah


Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

This dynamic is very interesting to me. I find I want to relate to my Master in this way. He has expressed an interests in being a Daddy in the relationship as well. I'm just at a loss as to where we go with this, now that we know we want this. Neither of us have ANY experience being in the Daddy/girl dynamic

I do know this...That the idea of sex while He is in Daddy mode, and I am in baby girl mode is not at all attractive to me, so I guess thats a start. Perhaps getting used to calling Him Daddy would be a good step. I know when He calls me baby girl I actually swoon...LOL

So...does anyone remember back to the very beginning ? How did it start out?



Hi Candy
   I have no personal experience with this, so not much to add to the discussion, but I am intrigued by the dynamic and am axious to hear the other responses...
  I have no inclination to call Tyson " daddy" .  Yet, when he refers to me sometimes as "baby" or " precious"   something inside me perks and tingles.  I will say, tho', that when he says those words there is nothing in his voice that is "father to child" like.....so this has confused me.
 
  My father was the patriarch in our family..and a dominant ( not in a "lifestyle" context, just naturally his demeanor and way ..persona ..)
  I can see many qualities in Tyson that were also in my father
  ...who, btw, I did call Daddy even until I was well in my 40s and he crossed-over.
 
I can very much understand how some aspects of the dynamic D/s or M/s  feel very much like the authoritative and protective/"taking care of" dynamic of a father or Dad.
 

_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

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RE: Getting used to Daddy - 11/29/2007 6:22:16 AM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		funny thing is, after reading all these responses, the one thing i never saw mentioned is, just being yourselves and letting the dynamic flow naturally...

what i mean by this is, i'm a woman with a heart and mind of a child, who grew up way too fast and missed out on most of my childhood, so as an adult, i took back my childhood...

i love barbie dolls and coloring books, playing at parks, and doing things that most kids enjoy; i love the colors pink and purple, fussy things and glittery things...

i highly doubt that i will ever grow up too much to take the time out to enjoy the little things in life with the wonder and wide eyes of that of a child...

sooo, i  meet and relate well to men who hold all those things about me very near and dear to their heart and who would never be embarrassed, or tell me to grow up,  if i were walking down the street in high heels, in a rainstorm, and decided to jump into the middle of a puddle instead of going around it! 

plus, to me, daddy is a term of endearment...

it's what little girls growing up in a good, lovng relationship with their fathers called them, and it's what my grandparents and great grandparents called their partners...

to me, daddy is the person i look up to and adore with all my heart; the one who has no problems whatsoever, showing, giving, and receiving affection...

so, if you have that kind of relationship with each other, there's no need to try to plan out a 'set' style or dynamic to your relationship, but more just letting it be what it is by nature.

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RE: Getting used to Daddy - 11/29/2007 7:22:19 AM   
sammy7626


Posts: 89
Joined: 8/20/2007
Status: offline 		Our dynamic sort of grew out of who we were for one another in our initial vanilla life.  He takes care of me, loves me, nurtures me, and shelters me...just like a Daddy should.  Just like mine never did, which is probably part of why I am this person who makes the dynamic possible.

It was actually in an IM conversation we were having while he was deployed about 2 and a half years or so into our relationship.  He and I were talking, and I almost called him Daddy.  And just after that, he admitted he almost referred to himself that way.  So I tried it.  And I really liked it.  :) 

It took quite a while longer, till last year (4 years later) before I could call him that in public.  But for me it was a comfort thing.  I tend to get very wrapped up in what is expected of me, and fear of embarrassment for going against the norm in any way.  Now that I have been able to call him that in an accepting environment, I have found its much easier to break that mold and call him Daddy when ever it suits us, without so much worry about what everyone else thinks.

As for the dynamic itself.  I'm a little girl.  I like to be spoiled and pampered and loved.  He loves to spoil me, tries to give me what I want to make me happy...but doesn't tend to take a lot of crap off me either, and makes sure I take care of myself.  We've never actually played the "roles", we just let it be based on our personalities. 

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RE: Getting used to Daddy - 11/29/2007 7:48:17 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		I think the number one thing that has, and does feed this is my Masters ability from day one to nurture me. From day one He has been tender, loving, and very nurturing.(in a "Domly" sorta way of course) I can relate to daddysliloneds and sammy7626, and I'm almost certain thats were this need stems from. My Master is very open to see where and how this might play out as am I. Thanks again everyone. 

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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