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toservez -> RE: Is sex a must? (11/29/2007 6:22:04 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: IrishMist
quote:
ORIGINAL: addisonclarkgirl
Lately, I haven't felt a huge desire for sex. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older, a hormone change, a self esteem issue, I'm not with the right person...whatever. How does a submissive deal with this? Can one be in a BDSM relationship without the sexual component? When I am in the mood, I'm back to my kinky, sub, little girl self, but if I'm supposed to be serving someone, is it fair of me to "not be in the mood?"
YOu are human. Contrary to belief; we are not sex starved animals who must go at it 24/7/365
If you are not in the mood...you are not in the mood...not much that can be done to change that...what's more, yes, it's fair for YOU to not be in the mood all the time...the question is, can you live and accept HIS actions when you are not in the mood?
I agree with this. Obviously you do not have to be in the mood but it depends to what you have agreed to in your relationship if that is something your partner has to respect.
Whether we like to admit it or not our sexual being and perception of ourselves as sexual creatures plays a large role in our lives for most people including people in this life. A change in that area whether perception or drive I think it would be quite common to also affect how you feel in the submissive aspects of your life. I would imagine if this change is a long term thing a period of adjustment will happen that would not be easy.
If the drop off was rather sudden I would urge you to see a doctor. If this has happen before and just not for such a long as period maybe it is just a phase or something mentally/environmental is affecting your drive.
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