Are we control freaks?

Are we control freaks? (Full Version)

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sweetnurseBBW -> Are we control freaks? (11/28/2007 7:23:23 PM)
I have seen LA say many times that subs are control freaks in other aspects of their lives. I examined this and found it to be true for me. In my job, whether everything is in control and going as planned. At home, everything is on schedule, dinner, horses fed, etc. I find that in my life I like everything with rules, schedules etc. Do you find the same is true for you?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Are we control freaks? (11/28/2007 7:47:44 PM)
Yup. I don't think ALL s-types are control freaks, just the majority. And I find that's surprising because everyone likes to talk about s-types being the ones to give up control. But I find that they really simply use that as another way to keep control- by making it a very real and conscious part of their lives, even their intimate long term relationship. And I find that far fewer doms actually are control freaks, most of them are more just problem solver types. http://www.collarchat.com/m_1392095/mpage_1/key_perfectionist/tm.htm#1392252 Are you a control freak? http://www.collarchat.com/m_517295/mpage_2/key_ocd/tm.htm#517508 perfectionist http://www.collarchat.com/m_630650/mpage_1/key_ocd/tm.htm#630650 trichitillomania http://www.collarchat.com/m_780796/mpage_1/key_ocd/tm.htm#780863 calling all perfectionist submissives

DarkDaddyZ -> RE: Are we control freaks? (11/28/2007 8:05:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Yup. I don't think ALL s-types are control freaks, just the majority. And I find that's surprising because everyone likes to talk about s-types being the ones to give up control. But I find that they really simply use that as another way to keep control- by making it a very real and conscious part of their lives, even their intimate long term relationship. And I find that far fewer doms actually are control freaks, most of them are more just problem solver types. http://www.collarchat.com/m_1392095/mpage_1/key_perfectionist/tm.htm#1392252 Are you a control freak? http://www.collarchat.com/m_517295/mpage_2/key_ocd/tm.htm#517508 perfectionist http://www.collarchat.com/m_630650/mpage_1/key_ocd/tm.htm#630650 trichitillomania http://www.collarchat.com/m_780796/mpage_1/key_ocd/tm.htm#780863 calling all perfectionist submissives I'd certainly agree with both of you based on my experiences.

juliaoceania -> RE: Are we control freaks? (11/28/2007 8:16:32 PM)
I am not a control freak. I used to be very perfectionistic, and I wanted control over my own thing, but embracing my submissiveness cured me of it. I am one of the least controlling people I know, and even my son says this is true... he sometimes wishes I was more controlling...lol

michelleryder -> RE: Are we control freaks? (11/29/2007 12:51:15 AM)
I can't even control the dog

IrishMist -> RE: Are we control freaks? (11/29/2007 4:46:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW I have seen LA say many times that subs are control freaks in other aspects of their lives. I examined this and found it to be true for me. In my job, whether everything is in control and going as planned. At home, everything is on schedule, dinner, horses fed, etc. I find that in my life I like everything with rules, schedules etc. Do you find the same is true for you? Yes. Though, the home part, I will be the first to admit...I could care less if everything is on schedule...work; I have to be in complete control to stay alive; no other way around it.

wisteriaV -> RE: Are we control freaks? (11/29/2007 4:48:02 AM)
In my view, you have to be able to control yourself before giving up that control to another person. So yes, in certain aspects of my life I am controlling: Such as how the kitchen is organized and cleaned, what day of the week the sheets get laundered, who in my family to avoid at all possible costs ( we all have those odd family members) the animals we have,certain aspects of my job ect..When it comes to the relationship I have with Master, he controls it all and its very easy for me to give up that control when I am out of the elements I am in control of.

Teles -> RE: Are we control freaks? (11/29/2007 5:53:20 AM)
I know I am. I'm an incredibly compliant, witty and somewhat removed person...until a certain point. Haha. I'm a brick wall about getting my way when it comes to certain things...don't change my mind easily...manipulate situations in my life quite consciously to produce certain outcomes. I mean, I'm a sweet person and all, but I do try to influence the way things happen and stuff... I dunno. That being said, before I REALLY told Teles how interested in BDSM I was, I tried to dom him several times (we're a couple of five years). Haha. Control freak... So hard for me to give up control :)

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Are we control freaks? (11/29/2007 6:07:35 AM)
i'm an aggressive control freak - everything (including my wedding) have to be perfect and on schedule. if not, someone is going to get hurt. for my wedding, i have a detailed, organized schedule down to the minute from the time photographers are snapping pictures before the wedding to the time i'm walking down the aisle with or without bodies in the seats. when i say i'm walking down the aisle at 12:30p, i really mean exactly at 12:30:00 i'm walking down the aisle with Daddy at my side. it's an annoying bad habit learned while growing up military - my father ran a tight boot camp.

BeingChewsie -> RE: Are we control freaks? (11/29/2007 6:13:28 AM)
Quick reply: Yes I am. No question about it. :)

toservez -> RE: Are we control freaks? (11/29/2007 7:39:11 AM)
I agree with the words but disagree with the term control freak as certainly for me it is far different to how we usually define and point to. For me it is not control but the drive to eliminate uncertainty. So I am quite rigid and routine oriented. I am teased or get people miffed at work by demanding everything is stocked and in the right place whenever we have the time to accomplish it. I work a lot of the time in very chaotic situations that control becomes a silly word and it does not bother me at all. At home I am very routine oriented as well but my motivation is not out of this is how it should be done but that I want my Master not to have to deal with surprises from my end that might interfere in what he wants to do or expects. But to me a control freak is a person who needs to be in control not a person who is routine oriented or has a preference that their rank at work can make happen. To me a control freak needs things done their way and will step on anyone they can to make it happen. I think me and I am guessing many submissives our motivations for our actions are quite the opposite in that we are doing things so we do not cause problems or wedge ourselves into a situation that causes others problems. The example I always use is being asked over to someone’s house for dinner. It drives me insane with nerves when I ask if I can bring something and they say no or if I try to do the dishes and they insist that is not wanted. I cannot help think are they just saying those things but expecting or hoping something different or they do mean it. I am not in control but what I am not in control is knowing with certainty what others are wanting. To me a control freak getting invited over to dinner their issues are more about them thinking they would prefer this should be done that way. That they worry because they did not clean the silverware it might not be clean to their standards. There need for control is about others doing exactly what they think should be done. To me submissives maybe control freaks but in terms of the aspect at play with a submissive personality we want to control uncertainty and that may or may not cause conflict with other people. True control freaks have no chance but not to interfere with other people on most everything they do.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Are we control freaks? (11/29/2007 8:28:19 AM)
No, we aren't all control freaks. this slave wouldn't consider herself a control freak, as she has no obsessive need to exert control over situations, other folks, relationships, etc.

IrishMist -> RE: Are we control freaks? (11/29/2007 11:46:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth No, we aren't all control freaks. this slave wouldn't consider herself a control freak, as she has no obsessive need to exert control over situations, other folks, relationships, etc. /sigh MissBeth, if I may say lol...sometimes I do envy you [:D]

goodgirl08 -> RE: Are we control freaks? (11/29/2007 1:36:02 PM)
I tried and failed at being a control freak. But, I am hardworking and doggedly persevering at things that I want, which are in the same ballpark of personality traits.

daddyncherry -> RE: Are we control freaks? (11/29/2007 1:53:50 PM)
i never thought i was but i have found that i am a total control freak when it comes to myself. i don't drink or do drugs because i totally lose control.... i am a compulsive perfectionist...which i now now is a control thing. i have a ton of fears that "control" me, but really that is me being a control freak to an extent. So yeah, i'm guilty and working on it.

phedre81 -> RE: Are we control freaks? (11/29/2007 2:32:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Yup. I don't think ALL s-types are control freaks, just the majority. And I find that's surprising because everyone likes to talk about s-types being the ones to give up control. But I find that they really simply use that as another way to keep control- by making it a very real and conscious part of their lives, even their intimate long term relationship. And I find that far fewer doms actually are control freaks, most of them are more just problem solver types. http://www.collarchat.com/m_1392095/mpage_1/key_perfectionist/tm.htm#1392252 Are you a control freak? http://www.collarchat.com/m_517295/mpage_2/key_ocd/tm.htm#517508 perfectionist http://www.collarchat.com/m_630650/mpage_1/key_ocd/tm.htm#630650 trichitillomania http://www.collarchat.com/m_780796/mpage_1/key_ocd/tm.htm#780863 calling all perfectionist submissives Oh my goodness. A post I started has been referenced by LA. I now feel like a real member of the community! [:D]

gorgeous1 -> RE: Are we control freaks? (11/29/2007 2:57:08 PM)
Yes. I am a complete control freak in non-sexual situations.

salilus -> RE: Are we control freaks? (11/29/2007 3:43:09 PM)
Um. Yes. I have OCD. It's better now, though. :)

chiaThePet -> RE: Are we control freaks? (11/29/2007 4:40:04 PM)
A perfectionist most definitely, everything (and everyone) in it's place. Control freak? Only when someone else grabs the remote. I disintegrate. chia* (the pet)

charlotte12 -> RE: Are we control freaks? (11/29/2007 4:50:12 PM)
I like how toservez put it. I wouldn't consider myself a control freak (though i think i have the capability and try very hard not to be.) But i do thrive very much with structure around me. I like things to be organized, i'm horrible with uncertainty. I had a dream the other night that me and Master had to escape somewhere and pack and leave very quickly. Most of the dream comprised of me trying to organize everythign we had to pack in the car. [&:]

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