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Starting as a Professional Dominant - 11/29/2007 3:17:20 PM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
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Hello Ladies,

I believe this is the first time I've actually asked a question in this section. Be assured it's genuine curiousity. I would respectfully request that responses remain in the vein of experiences, without judgement on whether it's a morally or legally acceptable or not. I hesitate to ask these questions, because I think it would be sad to see it turn into a 'you're not a twue....' thread, like so many threads dealing with professionals seem to.

Those of you who work as professional dominas, how did you start?

What inspired your decision to work as a professional?

Do you feel you have to play a 'role', or are your activities and interactions completely natural?

How did/do you find your clients?

Are you submissive at all in your personal life?

Do/have you worked as a professional exclusively, or do you have a 'day job?'

I'm grateful for your time. I'm asking because someone newer to the lifestyle asked me, and I honestly don't have any of these answers.

Sincerely,

Stephan

< Message edited by Stephann -- 11/29/2007 3:28:19 PM >

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RE: Starting as a Professional Dominant - 11/29/2007 3:46:15 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
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Those of you who work as professional dominas, how did you start?

It started on a whim a few years ago... I new others worked as professionals, doing a variety of kink and domination play, but didn't really apply the thought to myself until then. Then it just dawned on me that I could be making some extra money off doing something I already liked so much and I decided to give the pro side of things a whirl. I just started by dabbling in foot fetish play at first, figuring if I didn't like doing it professionally I could simply stop.

And found I liked it.

I've done various things on and off when I felt like it or had the time over the years and it slowly grew. Recently a friend asked me if I'd be interested in doing it (on more of a devoted, rather than whim-based, timing) and I said yes because I'd been wanting to for years but didn't really have anyone to pull Safety with and to enjoy talking with about it and such. Since then I've devoted my efforts towards it more as my "main business" rather than a side-job and have really enjoyed it. I love what I'm doing now and it fits my life and personality so well.

What inspired your decision to work as a professional?

I pretty much covered this there ^, but I'll be more direct in the answer here: I love the Lifestyle and found I could make money doing something I love, that's fun, and I found quickly in my early dabblings that the pro side gives you many more opportunities for play partners with a wide variety of interests you can explore with each of their personalities... much more than what I find in non-pro relations and contacts. I started on a whim of "hey, that sounds like fun. I think I'll try it out" and found it suited my personality and interests well.

Do you feel you have to play a 'role', or are your activities and interactions completely natural?

Depends on the client and the session. But that's true of non-pro play, too: sometimes it's just about the roleplay. The rest of the time I'm completely me. I'd not enjoy it if I always had to put a false-face on... that's been more of what I've had to do in most "normal" or "vanilla" jobs.

How did/do you find your clients?

I've a website, phone listing, and journals on the net to be found. I advertise them around the net, too. I also am open in my daily life about what I do for a living and have business cards and such in case someone expresses an interest. If this wasn't Augusta, GA I'd be taking out ads in the local free and underground papers, but that's not an option right now. I pretty much advertise just as I did when running my other vanilla businesses in the past, the market I'm aiming for is just different.

Are you submissive at all in your personal life?

Once in a very, very rare while I submit to my spouse for a scene. But no, that's not how I live. My natural personality is dominant and I live in a dual-dominant household and am actively "Lifestyle" as a dominant, seeking personal sub and whatnot.

Do/have you worked as a professional exclusively, or do you have a 'day job?'

A bit of an odd mix, actually. I've a permanent disability income from my time in military service due to some damage that was done to me, I'm going back to college full-time using my GI bill right now, and pro-dom'ing is my full-time "dayjob".

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RE: Starting as a Professional Dominant - 11/29/2007 6:45:09 PM

MistressSue07

Posts: 26
Joined: 9/2/2007
Status: offline

Those of you who work as professional dominas, how did you start?

I started strictly by word of mouth, and was rather successful. It was not until last year that I decided to hit the net with it and I have found it quite beneficial.

What inspired your decision to work as a professional?

I began about 10 years ago, and have been in the lifestyle for almost 20 years. I had found through interactions that there was a great demand for Pro Dommes, and since I truly enjoy what I do it was just a natural progression.

Do you feel you have to play a 'role', or are your activities and interactions completely natural?

The Domination aspect I have never felt that I play a role because I have always been a part of the lifestyle. I feel if I had to play a role then I would not feel the reward of my work.

How did/do you find your clients?

I advertise on many avenues, however most clients find me. I also pass out business cards at various functions and gatherings, you will also see me advertising in some of the local metro detroit publications. My website which is litterly all over the net is the best source I have found however.

Are you submissive at all in your personal life?

No! I am far from!

Do/have you worked as a professional exclusively, or do you have a 'day job?'

Over the years I have had day jobs here and there, but for the past year I have been exclusively a Pro Domme.

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RE: Starting as a Professional Dominant - 11/29/2007 7:11:08 PM

MamaDomme

Posts: 283
Joined: 12/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

Those of you who work as professional dominas, how did you start?

What inspired your decision to work as a professional?

Do you feel you have to play a 'role', or are your activities and interactions completely natural?

How did/do you find your clients?

Are you submissive at all in your personal life?

Do/have you worked as a professional exclusively, or do you have a 'day job?'

I'm grateful for your time. I'm asking because someone newer to the lifestyle asked me, and I honestly don't have any of these answers.

Sincerely,

Stephan

I started working as a professional in 1980 when a submissive that I was *seeing* asked if I would be interested in accepting someone he knew as a client. I said yes and took on a couple of additional clients after that. It has grown a great deal since then, as I enjoyed the activities, enjoyed the money for my services and just enjoyed the lifestyle in general. I feel that in most cases, I am doing more than just playing a "role", because I do enjoy what I am doing and tend to just go with the flow of the situation. There are times that I will take on a special client where I am strictly performing a service and nothing more.

My clients come from word of mouth. Very rarely do I ever accept a new client without a very thourough check first.

I don't feel that I am at all submissive in my private life. In fact, everyone that knows me, knows that I tend to take charge in all facets of my life.

I have worked, exclusively, in the past as a ProDomme, but currently have a day job and only have a handful of clients that I see on a very limited basis. This is due to my choices, not the lack of potential clients.

And Stephan, thanks for asking~~

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RE: Starting as a Professional Dominant - 11/29/2007 8:28:50 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

Those of you who work as professional dominas, how did you start? I pretty much leaped in there, using my profiles as advertisements. Eventually I shared studio space with a friend, had an ad in DDI, etc.

What inspired your decision to work as a professional? I wanted to learn new things, have a variety of experiences, and augment my income doing something that I was very good at already.

Do you feel you have to play a 'role', or are your activities and interactions completely natural? I am good at role play during scenes, but I am myself otherwise . I dress stylishly vanilla, do not behave in a provocative or bitchy manner, and behave as the lady I was brought up to be.

How did/do you find your clients? Clients found me via my AOL profile, my website, and my DDI ad. Also there was a certain amount of referral, as I am active in my local BDSM community.

Are you submissive at all in your personal life? Only to my mom. :)

Do/have you worked as a professional exclusively, or do you have a 'day job?' I have a day job, and several professional degrees. I imagine it's possible to make a living as a pro dominant, but that would involve seeing more clients than I was willing to take on. Pro burnout is endemic.

I'm grateful for your time. I'm asking because someone newer to the lifestyle asked me, and I honestly don't have any of these answers.

Sincerely,

Stephan

< Message edited by LadyHibiscus -- 11/29/2007 8:33:50 PM >

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RE: Starting as a Professional Dominant - 11/29/2007 9:23:26 PM

MstrssScarlet

Posts: 633
Joined: 6/3/2005
From: Indianapolis, Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

Hello Ladies,

I believe this is the first time I've actually asked a question in this section. Be assured it's genuine curiousity. I would respectfully request that responses remain in the vein of experiences, without judgement on whether it's a morally or legally acceptable or not. I hesitate to ask these questions, because I think it would be sad to see it turn into a 'you're not a twue....' thread, like so many threads dealing with professionals seem to.

Those of you who work as professional dominas, how did you start?

What inspired your decision to work as a professional?

Do you feel you have to play a 'role', or are your activities and interactions completely natural?

How did/do you find your clients?

Are you submissive at all in your personal life?

Do/have you worked as a professional exclusively, or do you have a 'day job?'

I'm grateful for your time. I'm asking because someone newer to the lifestyle asked me, and I honestly don't have any of these answers.

Sincerely,

Stephan

I was already a lifestyle domme and not having much luck finding a submissive that fit all my criteria. A lot of my friends suggested I try pro domming - that way I could get a little bit of what I wanted from each one. A couple of dommes I knew (the ones pushing me the most) had thoughts of going in on it with me, which would have been nice. I wound up moving and had to carry two mortgages for a short time. I figured that was as good a time as any to give it a try. The extra income really helped out and I discovered that I was really having a good time while earning it. Because of health issues, I can no longer work a 9 to 5 job and I can now work hours around my schedule as I need to.
Because I enjoy so many facets of the lifestyle, I rarely have to play a role with my clients. Once in while someone comes up with something I haven't tried yet and I'm always willing to give it a try. It's never been anything that required extensive training - puppy play for example.
All I had to do was let my friends know I had started and put out a profile or two and I had more clients then I knew what to do with. I'm fairly well known in my area and I know people in a couple of groups who refer clients to me.
I'm part of a dom/domme couple that started out as a dom/sub relationship. Once in a great while my hubby will ask me to bottom for him, but it's extremely rare. He's actually the one who nurtured my dominant side - long before it became profitable. It started out as an experiment and that's all it took.
I'm dominant in my day to day dealings with vanillas. I'm not bitchy or domineering- always polite. I just don't let anyone pull anything over on me.
I'm glad you asked this because I've had someone else ask me the same question through an email and really wasn't sure where to start. Now I can just steer her toward this post. Thank you Stephan.
Mistress Scarlet

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RE: Starting as a Professional Dominant - 11/30/2007 7:35:11 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

Those of you who work as professional dominas, how did you start?

What inspired your decision to work as a professional?

Do you feel you have to play a 'role', or are your activities and interactions completely natural?

How did/do you find your clients?

Are you submissive at all in your personal life?

Do/have you worked as a professional exclusively, or do you have a 'day job?'

I'm still in the process of getting started, but anyway;

What took me down this road was several factors -
1) loads of enquiries whose originators were actually looking for an hour or two session, not a relationship
2) a desire to have a second income stream
3) the opportunity to team up with a friend to provide the services
4) earning a second income stream with something that is fun

The role / natural thing is a difficult one. Its always me, but I do adapt to the circumstances of what is required. At the same time, with no real emotional connection, it does require some acting skill, 'cause I'm not uber bitch of the universe all the time.

Clients - website adverts so far have yielded some good enquiries.

Sub in my personal life? Yeah.... right!

I have a full time (more than full time sometimes) job; this is a second income stream so that if the worst happens with my company I have something to fall back on, and in the meantime have a nest egg building.

E

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RE: Starting as a Professional Dominant - 11/30/2007 5:13:45 PM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
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Thank you kindly for the responses, ladies, they've been very informative!

Stephan

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Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

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RE: Starting as a Professional Dominant - 12/1/2007 12:50:08 PM

MsSaskia

Posts: 415
Joined: 9/9/2004
From: Denver
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

Hello Ladies,

I believe this is the first time I've actually asked a question in this section. Be assured it's genuine curiousity. I would respectfully request that responses remain in the vein of experiences, without judgement on whether it's a morally or legally acceptable or not. I hesitate to ask these questions, because I think it would be sad to see it turn into a 'you're not a twue....' thread, like so many threads dealing with professionals seem to.

Those of you who work as professional dominas, how did you start?
A grant-funded position I had lost its funding. I wasn't completely sure I wanted to stay in that field and I was curious about BDSM, so I found a commercial dungeon and inquired about an apprenticeship there. They accepted me and I trained there for a few months.
What inspired your decision to work as a professional?
I thought that working in the field would be the most expedient way of learning a lot in a short amount of time by virtue of being around other people who did it for a living and by being able to play with a lot of people who all had different interests. I was frustrated with only being able to play in the ways my lover at the time was comfortable with and wanted much more.
Do you feel you have to play a 'role', or are your activities and interactions completely natural?
I feel that my activities and interactions with clients are completely natural inasmuch as I consider my play with clients to be part theater, part therapy and completely my own style. My play is different in my personal life because I don't have to be dressed up for it, play can happen at any time instead of on a set schedule, I can include sexual activities if I choose to (and I don't very much since I get orgasms from so many non-genital things) and I tend to be much more familiar with the responses and interests of my partner when I've known them longer.
How did/do you find your clients?
When I was apprenticing, the place I worked did all the advertising and scheduling. When I first started solo, I just had a profile up on AOL, eventually got a website (in 1996, I was the first pro in my city to have a solo website) and slowly, painfully learned by trial and error about other forms of advertising.
Are you submissive at all in your personal life?
Not remotely.
Do/have you worked as a professional exclusively, or do you have a 'day job?'
I did have a full-time day job (technically, a night job) for the first few years. I now work exclusively as a domme.
I'm grateful for your time. I'm asking because someone newer to the lifestyle asked me, and I honestly don't have any of these answers.

Sincerely,

Stephan