RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... (Full Version)

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sodsta -> RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... (11/30/2007 1:01:16 PM)

Accidental pain isn't something I usually enjoy. If I stub my toe, or drop something on my hand, it hurts in a bad way, and I think that's probably because it was unexpected. However, I can get enjoyment out of the same kind of pain if I or someone I know and trust is inflicting it.

For example:
If I accidentally bite the inside of my cheek while I'm chewing food, that's a bad pain. However, I frequently chew the inside of my lip and cheek to the point of pain, and I enjoy that immensely.

Generally for me, it's all about knowing when the pain is coming and being able to prepare myself for it. :)



Argentopal -> RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... (11/30/2007 1:03:56 PM)

So many interesting replies here!  As others have said, I will all of a sudden notice that I have a new cut or mark or bruise and wonder what it is from!  Lots of fun in a hospital ER when they ask you about pain from 1 to 10, I do have #1 a high tolerance to almost all pain and #2 the ability to seperate from the pain and or incident and remain alert, almost aloof to the pain or the emergency while it is happeneing.  It helps me deal with the immediacy of the emergency, my own or someone else's, and only later does my body react to the pain or trauma.  As an example, when I was 20 I shattered my kneecap, yet I walked, with some help, on it for almost 4 hours, enjoyed a big birthday dinner (yes it was actually my 20th borthday!), and only after my knee swelled up like 2 footballs and I fell down again trying to walk on it did I admit it might be more than a "sprain".  Then in the ER i still had a hard time assessing the pain for the docs and argued with the nurses about cutting off the slacks i had on (my best pair and I was 20 living on my own, couldn't afford many new pairs of slacks!) and made them take the pants off over the hugely swollen knee before treatment!

In play sessions I can focus on the pain until I make it go away and I keep needing more and more.  Not that I am so "macho" or anything, but I have yet to safeword or stop a scene, although I have cried, screamed, begged, squirmed, etc all the while begging for more.  I hope when the time comes that I should safeword that I will.
opal
Argent & opal
He held out His hand and said, “Step with me into the abyss.”
 … and i did. **Surrender without Fear**Power without Guilt**Love without Doubt**  



Tigrita -> RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... (11/30/2007 2:53:23 PM)

I know I'm pretty fearless (or careless possibly) in rough sports.  I'm a rock climber, and my motto is 'if you don't leave blood on the rock, you haven't climbed hard enough.'  I also love the really dead tired and sore feelings after working out or playing sports.  Some household injuries I think I deal with better than other people, but, I don't think I subconsciously set myself up for those or anything.



Muttling -> RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... (11/30/2007 3:29:33 PM)

 
quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

What an interesting and for me a somewhat disturbing/confusing thread. If asked I would state that I am in no way a masochist, that I avoid pain. I don't like pain.Medically I am told my pain threshold is abnormally low. Yet, yet I let my gallbladder actually burst inside of me after 8 months of pain. I usually have cuts, nicks or bruises but can't tell you the source because I don't notice it happening.If I have a hangnail I spend time tugging it bit by bit until over time it gets pretty bad.Right now I have a burn on the back of my right hand, I have no idea how I got it. But if I bang my elbow on a doorjamb I will holler, if I stub my toe I hop around and swear.I've got very bad TMJ to the point of having less than 15% of the cartilage remaining in my left jaw but.. I find myself constantly clenching my teeth. I worked until I would literally collapse on the job, ignoring the Lupus flare or Fibro flare more than once. I do not know if the medication I take changes the way I perceive some pain? I've been on various Class C's for 6 or so years, but things like digging on a hangnail are things I've always done. I don't actively seek out pain, not conciously.So... am I a masochist??? Never, never before would I have said 'yeah I'm a masochist' because I never looked for pain. This is kind of a stunning moment for me.



My definition of masochism is someone who draws a certain level of pleasure from pain.  For me, it is an intensity and an exciting rush.  One female friend of mine loved to discreetly pinch and twist my nipples as hard as she could in public (typically leaving deep scratches or even drawing a dab of blood.)  The result was an instant erection which humored her to no end.

After listening to the responses given, I think what I am describing is more typical of a high tolerance for pain or a growing accustomed to pain so you just don't notice it.



laurell3 -> RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... (11/30/2007 3:43:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MystressDream

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3


Same here.  Vanilla type accidental pain does nothing for me.  Hitting my funny bone or stubbing my toe still hurts.  However, I do apparently bruise myself by running into things, etc and no longer notice it, although that might just be age as well, one gets used to things.  I don't get any sense of pleasure out of it and even erotic pain that's self-inflicted is somewhat hollow for me.  For me personally, having the focus of another person is what increases my pain tolerance dramatically and makes it arousing even when it's truly painful.




Just an FYI here.... I am a Dominant.  ZERO pain tolerance... no desire to feel any pain whatsoever.  However, I bump into things occasionally, like anyone else.... and I discover bruises on things like my legs and wonder where they came from.  It is not something that makes me wonder if I am a masochist.  <grin>


Multiple orgasms over a painful caning is what makes me KNOW that I am a masochist.  There is no wondering.  My statement, is in response to the OP's comments on accidental vanilla type pain and increase in tolerance levels.  Again, as I stated above, I'm not sure that not noticing simple injuries is a result of masochsim or just age and getting used to.  I think it's very safe to assume however, that what applies to the OP or you or I are probably very different things.



petdave -> RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... (11/30/2007 6:18:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

for me, there are a couple of answers to your question.... 1) i don't feel pain like normal people do... 2) if i don't get pain from a controlled source, like bdsm play, my body will find ways to get it without my conscious consent...


That's an interesting way to look at it... There are time that i've injured myself doing things that i KNOW i shouldn't have been doing (pulling brake drum springs with vise-grips, shoveling with poor form and no gloves), and it's pretty likely that i was jonesing for a scene at the time (my natural state). Could be that since i'm trying really hard not to cut anymore, i'm subconsciously causing explainable injuries.

Hm. Friday night ponderable, indeed!



Muttling -> RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... (11/30/2007 7:21:35 PM)

quote:

Could be that since i'm trying really hard not to cut anymore, i'm subconsciously causing explainable injuries.


It's been many years since I did any SI and I have frequently wondered how many in the kink community were self injurers in their teen/ early 20's.  I know of a few, but I don't know if it is more common in the kink community than in the general population.  On a side note, I'm quite happy to see that it's finally starting to come out of the closet and starting to be a lot better understood than it was when I was a teen.



RumpusParable -> RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... (11/30/2007 9:00:36 PM)

I'm  masochist but regular old pain from accidents just hurts in the bad way.

I'm not one to let a serious injury go, no.  But I was raised with the phrase "it's a long way from your heart, get back to work" and then "suck it up and drive on" in the military.

If I'm not dying from bloodloss and no parts are risking falling off I keep going with what needs to be done.  I may complain later to a select one or two people that I consider close, but at the time what needs done gets done.

Not because the pain doesn't hurt like hell or because I can process it like scene pain or that I have a high tolerance or any such, but because my getting hurt doesn't matter when there's something that has to be done.

"It's a long ways from your heart...."  "Suck it up and drive on"

Whether you're roadmarching on a broken foot, are going through training with both pneumoia and strep at once, literally crawling up a mountain on all-fours through hip-deep snow, have cut your thumb half off, have had your crutches accinedtally bludgeoned against your side until it's black or some other soldier has just thrown you across a pool table or a partner decided to put your head half through a wall, you keep going.  You're still breathing, everything is still technically attached, you have things to do or that need be done.

You get it done and then you bandage yourself up or go to the ER or whatever is needed that time. 

But that's a decision, not a lack of pain or an enjoyment of the pain.  Prioritization.



KindLadyGrey -> RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... (11/30/2007 10:04:07 PM)

I hear you. I don't know how many times a friend has said to me (in a perfectly Vanilla context) "Grey, do you know that you're bleeding?" Most of the time, I have no clue. I'll look down at a cut or something embedded in my skin and think "Oh, that's why that was itching!"

The head docs tell me that I have a neurological condition that predisposes me to have some problems with motor control, basically, I'm a klutz. So I have accidents all the time.

Consistent and ongoing pain like a sinus headache will wear me down, but small household accidents pretty much can't touch me. I get upset, sometimes to the point of tears, about my klutziness, but the pain itself rarely bothers me.

I'll also add that I was in labor for 13 hours and while it was certainly painful I also found it an interesting experience and hardly the excruciating ordeal most women describe.

Getting my impacted wisdom teeth yanked didn't bother me much either. Granted, I had the same pain meds everyone gets, but I usually hear a lot of whining about the pain and mine just wasn't that intense. In fact, I asked for a less hardcore pain med because the one they gave me was making me too spacey.

I suppose it's possible I just had an easy labor and a good oral surgeon, but generally speaking I have a pattern of not experiencing painful events with the same intensity as the people around me.

On the other hand, I have had exactly ONE migrane in my entire life. I don't understand how people who get them all the time don't stab themselves in the head to put themselves out of their misery. I have never experienced such excruciating pain in my life. Migrane people, you have my respect just for LIVING. If any Dom/me ever learns to trigger migranes, I would spend the rest of my life quivering at their feet in fear.

Other than Migranes though, pain just doesn't seem to faze me as much as it does most people. Additionally, sometimes I'll do little painful things to myself just to keep me awake or focused. I'm a cutter/piercer, but not because I'm some depressed emo self-destructive chick. I just like the way pain feels, and it helps me focus. I've got ADHD pretty hardcore. You better believe I'm taking a needle to a 3 hour lecture to keep myself focused.

That's probably a textbook masochist thing though, right?

Anyway, Muttling, I'm the same way. I'm not sure if it's a masochist thing or not, but for what it's worth, I am also a masochist.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... (11/30/2007 11:40:40 PM)

I'll add that there is a difference between one's pain tolerance, and one's pain to pleasure tolerance. 

I'm also a klutz, so walking with a bowl of hot soup is pretty darn risky for me, but I still do it on a fairly regular basis (only one ER trip from that so far!).  Knowing how to take pain doesn't mean you're a masochist or get a masochistic thrill from it.



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