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A question for my fellow masochists..... - 11/30/2007 3:31:17 AM

Muttling

Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
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I wish to give some background before I ask this one.....

I am seriously masochistic and have been for as long as I can remember. I'm not as hard core as many men and women who I know as my limit comes far earlier than theirs. That said, I take great pleasure in the intensity that comes with pain. The more stressed out I am, the more I like it and the more I crave it. My responses to pain have frequently frightened my vanilla friends and I find this intriguing given the fact that I know many masochists who can take great pleasure in going way past my personal limits.

So here is my question.........

How many masochists find themselves being a bit careless or not as safety concious as others because the pain of banging up your hands just doesn't mean much to you?

I'll give you an example. I was hanging Christmas lights 2 years ago. I was in a hurry and didn't set the ladder like I should. It failed to lock and came back down on my pinky finger. I was pretty sure it was broke when it hit, but I finished hanging the lights before I went to get it checked out. I knew they wouldn't really do anything for it and I wanted the job done. Looking back, my response seems so strange but I can remember other times that were so very similar.

I am a masochist, but I'm not hard core by any stretch of what you frequently see at a fetish club. I just find myself ignoring the safe and sane responses to injury. As a result, my hands and lower legs take a beating when I'm trying to do normal work.

It is who I am and I accept that. I am also curious as to how many others have observed this in their lives.

Post #: 1

RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... - 11/30/2007 3:46:41 AM

childoftheshadow

Posts: 458
Joined: 8/2/2006
From: London UK
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I don't like accidental pain (banging my head this morning still hurt and wasn't fun), but I like pain inflicted by either my partner or myself. The self inflicted pain does from time to time cause me to stop and think "What the hell are you doing", but the only person I'm hurting is myself.

(in reply to Muttling)

Post #: 2

RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... - 11/30/2007 3:54:39 AM

denika

Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
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'Pain-slut' is a term I've been called by many I love and respect, Personally, I don't gauge what I can take or can't take against other's since there are some things I know I can get pushed to my limits with that would have some screaming and running, and other things (fire play for example) that just make me go white with fear.

Pain is fairly subjective, I have played to blood, pretty much most times I play but if I stub my toe or get a sliver...Forget it I revert back to three year old. lol.

I get stress releif out of play but I would never, knowingly put my life or risk permanant harm for the sensation.That is also where absolute trust in my Dominant comes into effect.-I go by R.A.C.K since no matter what we do there is a risk.
Accidents happen yes, but my perception of pain and how I process it is also in how it is happening.

But then my hands are my livelihood as well, it could also be that you have damaged nerves in your hands and don't feel pain the way you should from surpassing what is safe ?

Wolf's denika

(in reply to Muttling)

Post #: 3

RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... - 11/30/2007 4:37:31 AM

IrishMist

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I am the kind that gets MORE careless with more pain; to the point that I no longer care about living or dying; the pain becomes my main focus; and the more I focus on the pain, the more I want.

I don't crave pain because it brings me pleasure though; that's an after effect. I crave pain because it's an outlet. Despite this, I do not go looking to have myself hurt because to do so, is dangerous not only for me, but for those around me.

The kind of pain though that you are talking about here; caused by accidents...while it does not bother me, it also does nothing for me. I can control my response to it.

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RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... - 11/30/2007 4:42:37 AM

Muttling

Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
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quote:

But then my hands are my livelihood as well, it could also be that you have damaged nerves in your hands and don't feel pain the way you should from surpassing what is safe ?

I appreciate your comments and respect them, but that just isn't it. It's hard to explain, but I do feel things and I do know what's happening.

It's a really strange thing for me as I am a VERY shades of grey type of person. I rarely see things in black n white terms. That said, pain seems to come in that which is desirable and that which is frightful. At the moment, I have 2 shallow wounds on my hands and I have no idea how they got there. This really isn't uncommon for me.

That said, I retreat intensely when the pain crosses the line. I have always wondered if other masochists are this way. I really don't pay attention until the pain starts getting my attention. A good top can get my attention without crossing the line and that gives me terrific pleasure.

I do not suspect that I am unique, but I don't have a problem with being a bit different either. I appreciate what you have explained and take it to heart.

< Message edited by Muttling -- 11/30/2007 4:48:05 AM >

(in reply to denika)

Post #: 5

RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... - 11/30/2007 4:46:21 AM

Muttling

Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

I am the kind that gets MORE careless with more pain; to the point that I no longer care about living or dying; the pain becomes my main focus; and the more I focus on the pain, the more I want.

I don't crave pain because it brings me pleasure though; that's an after effect. I crave pain because it's an outlet. Despite this, I do not go looking to have myself hurt because to do so, is dangerous not only for me, but for those around me.

The kind of pain though that you are talking about here; caused by accidents...while it does not bother me, it also does nothing for me. I can control my response to it.

hmmm.....A response that sounds so close to my own. I thank you for your input and will spend a great deal of time thinking upon this insight.

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 6

RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... - 11/30/2007 5:09:56 AM

petdave

Posts: 2479
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Muttling
It's a really strange thing for me as I am a VERY shades of grey type of person. I rarely see things in black n white terms. That said, pain seems to come in that which is desirable and that which is frightful. At the moment, I have 2 shallow wounds on my hands and I have no idea how they got there. This really isn't uncommon for me.

That said, I retreat intensely when the pain crosses the line. I have always wondered if other masochists are this way. I really don't pay attention until the pain starts getting my attention.

Yup, i'm right there with you. i tend to think of it as having a high pain threshold, but a not-especially-high pain tolerance. This is especially troublesome in the summer, when i absent-mindedly scratch at bug bites and don't realize that i've broken the skin until i start to feel the blood trickling. It's also a mixed blessing for my mechanical hobbies... i have counted a dozen or more cuts on each hand after a weekend of tinkering and not noticed any of them... but on the downside, i've ended up having to stop in the middle of a project to clean blood off the upholstery.

(in reply to Muttling)

Post #: 7

RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... - 11/30/2007 5:15:57 AM

ELUSIVE1

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I don't think I am careless, but I will say my reaction is different than most...this past summer I stepped on a bee...and while most people will jump up and down screaming, I calmly sat down and looked at my foot, decided 'this is a different kind of pain--and not a pleasant one'-pulled out the stinger and went on doing what I was doing...

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RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... - 11/30/2007 5:23:24 AM

Muttling

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Joined: 9/30/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

I don't think I am careless, but I will say my reaction is different than most...this past summer I stepped on a bee...and while most people will jump up and down screaming, I calmly sat down and looked at my foot, decided 'this is a different kind of pain--and not a pleasant one'-pulled out the stinger and went on doing what I was doing...

hehe.....If you smack a bee, wasp, or hornet quickly you won't get stung about 4 out of 5 times. When you do get hit, it's really not that bad IMO. My family thinks I'm a nut, but they still call me over when they have problems with stinging insects.

That said, I ran over a hornet's nest with a slice seeder a few years ago and they flew up my shorts. There wasn't room enough for the 10 of us in those britches and I didn't care how many neighbors got an eye full. I left the slice seeder, my shorts, and my underwear in the yard while making a mad dash to get away from that pain.

(in reply to ELUSIVE1)

Post #: 9

RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... - 11/30/2007 5:34:44 AM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
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Yeah, no....I guess I'm the kind of masochist that only likes certain kinds pain...Accidental pain is not in ANY way fun, or enjoyable to me. When my Master is beating or whipping me...thats different

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(in reply to Muttling)

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RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... - 11/30/2007 6:27:02 AM

forg0ttenclone

Posts: 62
Joined: 5/13/2006
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haha. Very nice, Muttling. That's nothing short of hilarious.

However; in response to your question(s). I am a true masochist at heart. I have been for as long as i can remember. I do things to myself while being a moron, including accidents. I'll sometimes look at my arms hands or legs and find cuts and bruises... instantly i'm like <touch> ouch. i wonder where i got that from? I don't remember doing that <touches again> yep, it's a fresh bruise, alright.

If i'm going through some things where i need that release that pain brings and i'm not able to see Goddess. I will go running or work out until my body is unable to take anymore. Of course, i also have that instinct when i "stub" my toe in the middle of the night to instantly punch whatever i stubbed it on. But i more so refer to that as the "Zero To Pissed Effect." It's certainly a pain i do not enjoy.

Though i do tend to think most of us with higher pain tolerances do little things that reflect on our own masochistic tendencies. We later look back on those and laugh knowing just how it reflects our own need for pain. However; no matter what i do, nothing affects me like the kiss of Goddess' flogger, paddles, or teeth on my flesh.

< Message edited by forg0ttenclone -- 11/30/2007 6:30:10 AM >

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"I have fallen to my knees unable to rise, what kind of trap is this? What kind of chains have tied my hands and feet? It is so strange, so wonderful this helplessness of mine!"

(in reply to Muttling)

Post #: 11

RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... - 11/30/2007 6:58:09 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

How many masochists find themselves being a bit careless or not as safety concious as others because the pain of banging up your hands just doesn't mean much to you?

I do not feel pain the way that other people do, I have a higher pain threshhold, but I still do not like random pain, so I avoid hurting myself. I often bruise myself and I do not remember how I did it because it meant nothing to me at the time. I used to think I just bruised easily, but I now know whatever I did just didn't register as really "hurt"

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(in reply to Muttling)

Post #: 12

RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... - 11/30/2007 7:35:07 AM

Missokyst

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Joined: 9/9/2006
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I can relate. In times of stress "stuff happens" to me. A coal dropped from the BBQ and of course I was the one to walk out and step my bare foot onto that 1 inch square item. I have broken more toes, and ignored the pain because I had other things to do. Some years back I ripped the rhomboideus muscle from my shoulder blade, felt it, but I still had 10 mins of work to do before it was time to clock out. I finished the job. I am still paying for that one!
Sometimes I think it that we are subconsciously doing things to reset our brain into calm. Or maybe to get us to slow down. Sometimes I think these things happen to everyone, but we just notice the pattern more. I don't know. But unlike many masochists who say they don't appreciate accidental pain I cannot agree completely. I dislike accidental pain, but the end result for me is always, calm.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to Muttling)

Post #: 13

RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... - 11/30/2007 8:55:40 AM

gorgeous1

Posts: 367
Joined: 11/14/2007
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I am not a big fan of accidental pain either (who is?) I don't get turned on by stubbing my toe, that's for sure!

I have noticed that everyone seems to have different thresh holds for different body parts. For instance, my dad and I are both pretty much "immune" to novacaine. It LITERALLY takes the amount of novacaine to numb a horse to get either of us numb enough to not feel the drilling. My dad thinks the after-pain of the shots is more painful than enduring the drilling, so he gets root canals, etc., with NO pain control at all...FREAK! I tell the dentist to shoot me up- the pain of the tissue where all the shots is worth it for me to not feel the pain of the drilling. I cannot stand any level of tooth pain whatsoever.

Now, let's talk about backs. My dad and I both have the same chiropractor. My dad will barely be able to move if his back is out in just one spot, and will have to immediately see the chiropractor, wincing and in agony, and I don't go in until my migrains are so bad I can't function, and the chiropractor will tell me my back and neck and pelvis are out in a total of four or five places. He can't believe I'm able to walk around like that for months and not complain. Well, I just ignore it, because I'm able to.

I think it's the same with our kinks- you can take a great deal of one activity, and not so much of another, and it all depends on how sensitive you are in that area.

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(in reply to Missokyst)

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RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... - 11/30/2007 9:57:13 AM

chellekitty

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for me, there are a couple of answers to your question.... 1) i don't feel pain like normal people do... 2) if i don't get pain from a controlled source, like bdsm play, my body will find ways to get it without my conscious consent...
it is a fairly recent discovery that i don't feel pain like normal people do...about 6 months ago i realized that i am in constant pain and thats not "normal"....doctors don't believe me when i tell them how much pain i am in because "normal" people would not walk into the ER in that much pain for that long....when my pain level gets to the point that i cannot handle it anymore it is not because it has reached a 10 on the 1 to 10 scale, it is because my vision is dimming and my ears are buzzing so loud i can't hear anyone speaking too me because my pain level has been at a 10 for a week or two....so....when i smack my hand against the corner of a shelf in a department store, once again, its the equivalent of a mosquito bite....annoying at worst....
usually my body gets cut because thats the kind of pain i like...and it is often rediculous....the last time it happened i cut the bottom of my middle toe open on a hotel lobby marble step because my flip flop caught on it...half the circumference of my toe...it bled all over the place....the only time i got upset was when i wasn't sure how i was going to get to the train station to get home....cause i had to go to the emergency clinic to get it taken care of...
edited to add: i went upstairs before i noticed it was bleeding, went back downstairs to the lobby to see what they were going to do about it, then went back upstairs to say bye to my friends then back to my room to pack my stuff before going back to the lobby to catch the cab to the clinic...i could not afford to stay another day, and the train waits for no one and i had to say bye...right? lol
i try to keep this from happening by playing on a regular basis, but this is not always possible...

chelle

< Message edited by chellekitty -- 11/30/2007 9:59:58 AM >

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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... - 11/30/2007 10:02:39 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Muttling

How many masochists find themselves being a bit careless or not as safety concious as others because the pain of banging up your hands just doesn't mean much to you?

I am not a masochist by any extent, but I am very guilty of this. I have nearly no reflexes to speak of, and i have a very high tolerance for pain. Its a bad combination, becasue it means that my hands get ripped up on a regular basis when i am at work. Bruises, bumps and cuts are pretty par for the course, actually.

Strangely, Fox is a masochist and little accidental pain unsettles him. He hates it.

DV

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(in reply to Muttling)

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RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... - 11/30/2007 11:38:47 AM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

What an interesting and for me a somewhat disturbing/confusing thread. If asked I would state that I am in no way a masochist, that I avoid pain. I don't like pain.Medically I am told my pain threshold is abnormally low. Yet, yet I let my gallbladder actually burst inside of me after 8 months of pain. I usually have cuts, nicks or bruises but can't tell you the source because I don't notice it happening.If I have a hangnail I spend time tugging it bit by bit until over time it gets pretty bad.Right now I have a burn on the back of my right hand, I have no idea how I got it. But if I bang my elbow on a doorjamb I will holler, if I stub my toe I hop around and swear.I've got very bad TMJ to the point of having less than 15% of the cartilage remaining in my left jaw but.. I find myself constantly clenching my teeth. I worked until I would literally collapse on the job, ignoring the Lupus flare or Fibro flare more than once. I do not know if the medication I take changes the way I perceive some pain? I've been on various Class C's for 6 or so years, but things like digging on a hangnail are things I've always done. I don't actively seek out pain, not conciously.So... am I a masochist??? Never, never before would I have said 'yeah I'm a masochist' because I never looked for pain. This is kind of a stunning moment for me.

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RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... - 11/30/2007 11:39:26 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
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Same here. Vanilla type accidental pain does nothing for me. Hitting my funny bone or stubbing my toe still hurts. However, I do apparently bruise myself by running into things, etc and no longer notice it, although that might just be age as well, one gets used to things. I don't get any sense of pleasure out of it and even erotic pain that's self-inflicted is somewhat hollow for me. For me personally, having the focus of another person is what increases my pain tolerance dramatically and makes it arousing even when it's truly painful.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 11/30/2007 11:41:04 AM >

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RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... - 11/30/2007 12:52:04 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
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From: North Carolina
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Not all forms of pain excite me. The things Master does for punishment in play excites me and is erotic to me. Things like stubbing my toe and cutting a finger don't do a damn thing to me. I enjoy pain because it is a release at time but accidental pain that happens outside of play doesn't do anything to me.

I have been a masochist a long time and know I can be pushed farther, I may not know when to say enough but Master stops it when he thinks it is enough. So that is my safety net.

I am not careless and safety is always forefront in my mind, Maybe it is because I have been in a bad situation before where safety wasn't a first and feeling like I didn't know if I was going to get out of that situation was horrifying.

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Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to Muttling)

Post #: 19

RE: A question for my fellow masochists..... - 11/30/2007 12:58:54 PM

MystressDream

Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Same here. Vanilla type accidental pain does nothing for me. Hitting my funny bone or stubbing my toe still hurts. However, I do apparently bruise myself by running into things, etc and no longer notice it, although that might just be age as well, one gets used to things. I don't get any sense of pleasure out of it and even erotic pain that's self-inflicted is somewhat hollow for me. For me personally, having the focus of another person is what increases my pain tolerance dramatically and makes it arousing even when it's truly painful.

Just an FYI here.... I am a Dominant. ZERO pain tolerance... no desire to feel any pain whatsoever. However, I bump into things occasionally, like anyone else.... and I discover bruises on things like my legs and wonder where they came from. It is not something that makes me wonder if I am a masochist. <grin>

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