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Psychology of D/s Relationships - 11/30/2007 10:46:21 AM   
TrainHerTender


Posts: 11
Joined: 9/20/2006
Status: offline 		Can anyone recommend some really good books that address the psychology of D/s relationships ?  I'm interested in any thoughtful books that go beyind the physical dimension of a D/s relationship and get into the deeper heart issues.  The goal in all of this for me is to explore how the emotional finds expression through the physical.  But so often it seems as if books on the subject don't go far enough in connecting those two dimensions.
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RE: Psychology of D/s Relationships - 11/30/2007 11:05:11 AM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		It's not a book addressing D/s relationships, and it's not one that would be very beneficial to relationships other than the male dominant/female submissive dynamic, but "The Evolution of Desire" by David M. Buss might be helpful. 

Other suggestions along the same vein would be "The Selfish Gene" by Richard Dawkins, and "A Natural History of Rape" by Randy Thornhill and Craig T. Palmer.

(in reply to TrainHerTender)
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RE: Psychology of D/s Relationships - 11/30/2007 11:24:43 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		pshychology is only one persons opinion of how they think things should be. Why not just enjoy the Ds lifestyle and not try to read a bunch of garbage into it.

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RE: Psychology of D/s Relationships - 11/30/2007 11:47:31 AM   
slavemaia


Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TrainHerTender

Can anyone recommend some really good books that address the psychology of D/s relationships ?  I'm interested in any thoughtful books that go beyind the physical dimension of a D/s relationship and get into the deeper heart issues.  The goal in all of this for me is to explore how the emotional finds expression through the physical.  But so often it seems as if books on the subject don't go far enough in connecting those two dimensions.

Greetings,
i haven't seen many D/s type books per se that get into the psychological aspects of a D/s relationship as they do seem to focus more on kinks and playing. But then i'm not an expert either. One book both Master and i have found some value with in terms of a deeper understanding of submission and surrender is "Slavecraft". Another book i personally found helpful, although it's not a D/s book, is Surrendered Wife, simply because of it's explanations of controlling behaviors. There's another called "The Control Book" and you may find more links on amazon.com if you search for one of these books. Good luck on your journey.

_____________________________


She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

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RE: Psychology of D/s Relationships - 11/30/2007 11:53:03 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		http://www.online-literature.com/orwell/1984/

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RE: Psychology of D/s Relationships - 11/30/2007 1:30:58 PM   
QuietDragon


Posts: 47
Joined: 12/6/2005
Status: offline 		I can thoroughly recommend Different Loving: An exploration of the world of sexual dominance and submission by Gloria Brame, William Brame and Jon Jacobs (ISBN 0-679-40873-8).

It's a hefty read, at just over 500 pages (in the edition I own), but covers many elements and aspects of the BDSM lifestyle, culture and playtime activities, and includes extracts of interviews with people in the lifestyle, both publically and privately.

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"Most welcome, bondage, for thou art a way, I think, to liberty."
Cymbeline, Act V, Scene 4 - William Shakespeare

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RE: Psychology of D/s Relationships - 11/30/2007 3:31:05 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

http://www.online-literature.com/orwell/1984/


An interesting choice. 

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: Psychology of D/s Relationships - 11/30/2007 3:40:51 PM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings F/folks.. i would have to agree with Dnomyar but if you want to read some personal experiences and a more broader aspect of the psychology i would recommend Elise Sutton theory if it has to deal with  Femdom issues.. Good luck THT

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Max: And loving it!


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RE: Psychology of D/s Relationships - 11/30/2007 3:55:36 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I would look for biographies about individuals in the scene if you want some insight into why they do it.

With all of the books I have and all the reviews I've done, I have yet to see a real psychological study of BDSM. I've seen sociological studies or group surveys and I've seen some theory but little that actually drives into people who do BDSM.

If any one knows of such a book, tell the publisher or author to send it to me and I'll glad review and if it's good it will go on KinkyBooks.com when they reorganize.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to TrainHerTender)
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RE: Psychology of D/s Relationships - 11/30/2007 4:28:53 PM   
xiam


Posts: 148
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupery 


*Edited to say that i was not being facetious in my reply!  It's truly a great book, and even more enlightening when you look at it with a D/s mindset.


< Message edited by xiam -- 11/30/2007 5:03:27 PM >

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RE: Psychology of D/s Relationships - 11/30/2007 4:50:37 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		I second the motion on "Different Loving" by Brame. Also, "The Topping Book" and "The Bottoming Book" (two volumes) by Dossie Easton and Katherine Lisdszt (sp?) Both really good explorations of the nuts an bolts of the desires and how to express them. Pat Califia has also written some great essays on this subject, and I suggest you look up his stuff in any case.

"I've been like every other member of the race since birth: never quite sane at night." -Mark Twain

(in reply to xiam)
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RE: Psychology of D/s Relationships - 11/30/2007 5:06:52 PM   
elderrook


Posts: 93
Joined: 11/29/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

pshychology is only one persons opinion of how they think things should be. Why not just enjoy the Ds lifestyle and not try to read a bunch of garbage into it.


As with anything, knowledge is power. It can't hurt to learn a little something from others about the things you're interested in.

That doesn't mean that you have to believe everything you read, just because someone was able to get thier words printed in a book, but different points of view are always healthy and useful to listen to, if even to give you more understanding of how NOT to do something.

Honestly, I've known an author or three, and some of them are very good, others I'm surprised anyone gave them a medium to publish thier 'work'.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
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RE: Psychology of D/s Relationships - 11/30/2007 5:14:29 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		I have to say I agree with Different Loving.  I've also read Slavecraft and found it interesting.  The Topping book and The Bottoming book by Easton and Lizst have also been mentioned.  I liked them for exploration of scene psychology but really wish they'd gone further.

(in reply to elderrook)
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RE: Psychology of D/s Relationships - 11/30/2007 7:08:48 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		Oh, the last time I saw Dossie at Thunder, she said they were still working on sequels... so yeah, they are in agreement... it needs to be taken further.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
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