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How did you realize that you were a sub? - 11/30/2007 6:12:10 PM   
CuriousKitten87


Posts: 5
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline 		I'm curious.  Before getting into this lifestyle, what made you consider it?  What things made you think that you might be a sub?
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RE: How did you realize that you were a sub? - 11/30/2007 7:30:06 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		A good friend of mine named Paul told me what I was. He said he had no doubt LOL...so I asked questions he answered, and also pointed me to some places to get info. That was a little over a year ago....Paul and I are still good friends although I haven't spoke with him lately.

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Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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(in reply to CuriousKitten87)
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RE: How did you realize that you were a sub? - 11/30/2007 7:36:57 PM   
decstorm37


Posts: 95
Joined: 11/12/2007
Status: offline 		I want to say that it came to me naturally (sp) i did learning on my own (reading online sites) then met a Dom and it went from there.

(in reply to breatheasone)
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RE: How did you realize that you were a sub? - 11/30/2007 7:39:44 PM   
CdnExplorer


Posts: 227
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline 		It came very naturally to me, and recognizing it was as simple as having internet access and a curious mind. Accepting it though, was a different story 

(in reply to decstorm37)
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RE: How did you realize that you were a sub? - 11/30/2007 7:40:27 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		I was born with a submissive personality. I became interested in BDSM submission when I started reading stuff on the subject and realized that most of what I read about being a submissive floated my boat.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to decstorm37)
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RE: How did you realize that you were a sub? - 11/30/2007 7:55:48 PM   
LittleWench


Posts: 265
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline 		After 20 years of daily conversations with submisssive partners that went along the lines of...

Me "What would you like for dinner"
Them "I don't care, whatever you want"
Me "Well what do you feel like"
Them "I'm easy"
Me "Well choose something and I will cook it"
Them "Whatever you cook is fine"

Gad shoot me now.  Finally meeting someone who had an answer to a simple question like what they wanted for dinner got me so excited!

(in reply to CuriousKitten87)
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RE: How did you realize that you were a sub? - 11/30/2007 8:00:08 PM   
CdnExplorer


Posts: 227
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline 		LOL yes, I've always been the same way. I was at a party recently where about 3am there were only 4 subs still awake and 1 Domme. We were trying to figure out who was taking the last bed, and who was sleeping on the air mattresses. We went around and around for 10 minutes like that, until the Domme walked in laughing her ass off and told me to take the bed. 

(in reply to LittleWench)
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RE: How did you realize that you were a sub? - 11/30/2007 8:11:55 PM   
Goddess007


Posts: 36
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline 		LOL, your post was great!  I find Myself getting that way sometimes, only because I'm bored with the dinner routine..."Where do you want to go?  I don't know, where do you want to go?"  Of course, we're usually near a mall(he's a shopper), so chances are there's nothing good there...Anyway, the only thing I was curious to ask is, what bothered you about not making whatever you wanted during the time you were with subs?
regards,
Miss Dee

(in reply to LittleWench)
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RE: How did you realize that you were a sub? - 11/30/2007 8:16:31 PM   
Goddess007


Posts: 36
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline 		I have that quote, too!  *winks*

(in reply to Littlepita)
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RE: How did you realize that you were a sub? - 11/30/2007 8:44:08 PM   
LittleWench


Posts: 265
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Anyway, the only thing I was curious to ask is, what bothered you about not making whatever you wanted during the time you were with subs?


I guess there are a few answers to the question.  Firstly my desire to be pleasing/to please so I want to cook what they want, what they will enjoy, so I will get praise for the meal I suppose also.  I was one of those women that was taught a way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

For a large portion of it I have been vegetarian and partnered with meat eaters.  Most of them have had veggie basics that they won't eat, for example with one it was mushrooms, the other was beans... most of my regular meals would include either of those two as a good source of protein.  I know that if I cooked a vegetarian main without their hated ingredients they would still eat it, however it wouldn't be their choice.  Again its the pleasing aspect.  It was a great deal easier when I was a meat eater, because I had the desire and appetite to cook meat dishes, but even then (especially when I was working full time) there were times when I just didn't want to make another decision that day.

I guess in part its making a decision for another person, because I have no indecisiveness when it comes to cooking meals when its just me eating them... or making any other decisions solely for myself.


< Message edited by LittleWench -- 11/30/2007 8:47:15 PM >

(in reply to Goddess007)
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RE: How did you realize that you were a sub? - 11/30/2007 9:26:14 PM   
brienne30


Posts: 6
Joined: 11/16/2007
Status: offline 		I spent a lot of time in 'nilla relationships, realizing I had strange fantasies I didn't dare talk about. . . and a lot of time purposely posing bets where if I lost I'd be his 'sex slave' for a weekend and if he lost he had to clean my house. I purposely lost a lot of those, only to be disappointed in how non seriously they took their winnings. So it was there, I just had no idea what "it" was.

Just around the time the INTERNET exploded into the world, I met a man through some friends. I was telling my latest "I bet him I'd be his sex slave for a weekend' disaster story when this guy I had just met raised an eyebrow. Then looked me dead in the eye and in a very calm, matter of fact way, almost at a whisper, leaned in and said, "You really wanted him to bind you to the bed all weekend, and  spank your wanton little ass red ? Didn't you? Or did you want him to make you beg to be fucked and used, oblige and walk away, leaving you there tied up to stew in your own juices?"

I think I came right there. And I think he knew it. His friends started in with the "ignore him, he's being his silly self" routine. But there was something there that was sooo real. We ended up talking, he introduced to terms like bdsm, pointed to web sites, etc. We were also both involved at the time.

I started slowly educating myself, reading, and surfing the net and came to realize, yep that is me. Almost two years later I was at the "now what do I do to meet someone without getting myself killed" phase.  That was when fate intervened and we ran into each other free of other entanglements. It started slowly and grew into a wonderful 6 year relationship before it ended. So I guess I had to be "enlightened" to what I already knew, if that makes any sense.

(in reply to CuriousKitten87)
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RE: How did you realize that you were a sub? - 11/30/2007 10:53:57 PM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		It was natural for me to be submissive and then i sought out the lifestyle (like alot of us)

my first "real bf" was 8 yrs my senior...had a list of rules i had to follow and made me get progress reports from my school (i was an UM then) (my early Daddy Dom exp i guess)

The next one was abusive and psychotic...but very dominant.

The next one was totally alpha and the relationship, in many ways was similar to alot of D/s relationships...but the down side was that he was verbally/mentally abusive.

Before that one....i had begun to slap my own face during masturbation (i thought i was totally nuts)....my fantasies grew toward alot of the themes so common amongst subs/slaves

One relationship of exploration in between...trying to make someone into a Dom when he clearly was not and had no real interest in it... During this time i was exposed to alot of fiction and a good friend loaned me her Dom's copy of "Screw The Roses" (thx Tocat) and i really started to find out that i wasn't nuts and that there were other people like me....

and then...i gave up.....and then...

i met my Daddy.




_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to brienne30)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How did you realize that you were a sub? - 12/1/2007 2:32:03 PM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline 		Dear Cherry,
 
While I wouldn't go so far as to say you were a protege, I am proud to be able to say that I helped a bit a long the way<s>. you are quite welcome.
 
Stay warm,
Lawrence

< Message edited by topcat -- 12/1/2007 2:33:26 PM >

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-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to daddyncherry)
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RE: How did you realize that you were a sub? - 12/1/2007 4:33:12 PM   
CuriousKitten87


Posts: 5
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you all for your wonderful responses.  It's great to know that I'm not the only one who has experienced similar things and feelings. 

Brienne:
I know how you felt.  I've also tried to be a sex slave for a day/weekend  with an ex before, but it never really worked.

Little Wench:
I don't know how many times I've had that conversation.  Doesn't it get frustrating?

(in reply to topcat)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How did you realize that you were a sub? - 12/2/2007 4:53:34 PM   
greenearth21


Posts: 228
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		I would have to say that submission has been a natural thing for me.  Ever since I was a UM...very very small I always had really weird fantasies about things I would want a b/f to do to me an dhow i would like the relationship to be.  Had several relationships but something was always in the back of my mind that i wanted to explore but just thought I was weird.  First year of college I met someone off of some yahoo chat...after a few weeks there was interest and so we started talking that way and asking question...and it just happend that he was a daddy dom and being able to tell him the things i wanted/believed in felt so relieving because he understood and I was amazed by how "unweird" i was.  He introduced to me to waht I now know as "the lifestyle" (i'm really not into the kink...although its great, but i've just seen a woman being submissive and a man being dominant as the way to be...old testament type stuff, i suppose.  Maybe the way I was raised)Thats how I learned about the lifestyle...I was 18 and started doing research, talking to him and so here I am.  I personally don't care about the kink (being chained up, whipped...things that I can do without. But the idea of pleasing a man (not limited to sexual pleasure) and taking care of them, being respectful etc etc just completes me in a relationship.  So I'd have to say it's natural.

(in reply to CuriousKitten87)
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RE: How did you realize that you were a sub? - 12/3/2007 12:21:24 AM   
shootingstar67


Posts: 195
Joined: 10/29/2007
Status: offline 		When I was a very young UM I would get horny while spanking my dolls.  Then, for a few years I stopped having those fantasies. But  at age 12 it emerged again and I started having strong fantasy about this guy I had a crush on since the third grade with him spanking me. Then around 13 those fantasy's stopped. Then I started getting them about other people.

So when I hear of people who  discovered their kink when they were older..I just dont get it. I always had it.



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I am a Female Submissive exploring these boards.

(in reply to greenearth21)
Profile   Post #: 16
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