To Sir, or not to Sir, that is the question

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To Sir, or not to Sir, that is the question - 8/13/2005 7:24:06 PM

seattlenat

Posts: 4
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

I have recently met a wonderful Master with whom I am becoming better acquainted. I love calling Him Sir, but I am unsure of the etiquotte surrounding this.

I would appreciate any input from more experienced subs or Dom/mes on this. Does a sub refer to their Master as Sir all the time? Only in play? Does it depend on Y/your set of circumstances?

Thank Y/you.
seattlenat

Post #: 1

RE: To Sir, or not to Sir, that is the question - 8/13/2005 7:29:34 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: seattlenat
Does a sub refer to their Master as Sir all the time? Only in play? Does it depend on Y/your set of circumstances?

Ask him if confused because you about got it covered already in the quoted section. It's all over the map. But anyone would be a fool to say HE wants this or that, here. Only he knows.

Hope he is the love of your life.

Admiringly,
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to seattlenat)

Post #: 2

RE: To Sir, or not to Sir, that is the question - 8/13/2005 7:55:06 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

The appropriate thing would be to ask him how he wishes to be addressed andunder what circumstances. Have fun!

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 3

RE: To Sir, or not to Sir, that is the question - 8/13/2005 8:24:54 PM

EvilTwin

Posts: 50
Joined: 4/13/2004
From: NC
Status: offline

It is generally up to your master as to what they prefer to be called.
Sir, Master, Owner, ect.
Ask him, get his answer and follow it.
If you are unsure of something ask.
It is better to have it explained than to be disciplined for ignorance.

Jim

(in reply to seattlenat)

Post #: 4

RE: To Sir, or not to Sir, that is the question - 8/13/2005 8:40:18 PM

ItzKat

Posts: 86
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline

Just like eveything else involved in BDSM, there are standard conventions, but it is really up to the participants on what they do. If you are confused about what to call him, ask him.

My Dominant does not want me to call him Master, in or out of play. He would perfer that I call him Sir in scene and by his given name when we are in Public. But those are our rules for our situation and should in no way be looked on as the only way it can happen.

Ask him what he wants you to do and go with it.

Kat

(in reply to seattlenat)

Post #: 5

RE: To Sir, or not to Sir, that is the question - 8/13/2005 8:41:13 PM

seattlenat

Posts: 4
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

Thank Y/you all for Y/your responses. I'm detecting a common theme of "ask Him". Going out on a limb here, but I think majority rules. Thanks for the advice.

natalie

(in reply to EvilTwin)

Post #: 6

RE: To Sir, or not to Sir, that is the question - 8/13/2005 9:27:07 PM

sarbonn

Posts: 203
Joined: 3/23/2004
Status: offline

Not once have I ever required any dominant women to call me Sir.

_____________________________

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day...
...teach a man to fish, he steals your fishing hole and then charges you for the fish.

(in reply to seattlenat)

Post #: 7

RE: To Sir, or not to Sir, that is the question - 8/13/2005 9:34:30 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

OK, I'm late, but my answer is....

Ask him.

(in reply to seattlenat)

Post #: 8

RE: To Sir, or not to Sir, that is the question - 8/13/2005 10:04:03 PM

zaynab

Posts: 377
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

Hi Natalie,
My advice is to ask him about everything. ~ zay

_____________________________

zaynab[DM]

quote:

i used to care... but now i take a pill for that

(in reply to seattlenat)

Post #: 9

RE: To Sir, or not to Sir, that is the question - 8/13/2005 10:52:09 PM

synrgy33

Posts: 61
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline

From my point of view, it goes a bit beyond just asking Him...

When I began in the scene, I reserved Sir for only those that I respected or had gained my respect. I've never called anyone but Dave Sir "Master" in all my years of being in the lifestyle. (Except when I go into Gorrean chat rooms on mirc, then it's a term I use there.)

I dated one Dom who on occassion wanted me to call Him Sir but most of the time it was "M'Lord" which was always very akward to me....

There are a few times that I get to call SadistDave Sir "Master" Mostly it's a slip pof the tongue because I so want to call Him Master all the time.. But for now, and with His own reasons and His request I don't. He allows it on occassion, but not always.

When you do ask the Dominant in your life what His prefrences are, and He says "I prefer this, but don't prefer that" You might ask Him (NICELY enstuff of course) why He prefers that, and doesn't prefer other things..

I know that it always hurt my feelings that I wasn't allowed to call Sir Master, then one day He explained why.. and it was like "well doi that makes sense" and I respect that.. Unless I'm really turned on and then Master just FLOWS out of my mouth.. *weg*.

stephanie~SD~

_____________________________

"You have to get past the pleasure stage, until you reach the stage of tears.Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns. I am thankful that thorns have roses." -:Allophones Karr:-

(in reply to zaynab)

Post #: 10

RE: To Sir, or not to Sir, that is the question - 8/13/2005 11:42:18 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: seattlenat

I have recently met a wonderful Master with whom I am becoming better acquainted. I love calling Him Sir, but I am unsure of the etiquotte surrounding this.

I would appreciate any input from more experienced subs or Dom/mes on this. Does a sub refer to their Master as Sir all the time? Only in play? Does it depend on Y/your set of circumstances?

Thank Y/you.
seattlenat

It completely depends on your relationship. I refer to the Owner almost always by his legal name, but occasionally master in response to a direct question.

So- talk it over with him and decide what works best for you.

(in reply to seattlenat)

Post #: 11

RE: To Sir, or not to Sir, that is the question - 8/14/2005 2:46:47 AM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

There is no general etiquette, talk whit your Dom and find out what he likes. i usualy refer to my Dom by his name.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 12

RE: To Sir, or not to Sir, that is the question - 8/14/2005 5:24:31 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: seattlenat

I have recently met a wonderful Master with whom I am becoming better acquainted. I love calling Him Sir, but I am unsure of the etiquotte surrounding this.

I would appreciate any input from more experienced subs or Dom/mes on this. Does a sub refer to their Master as Sir all the time? Only in play? Does it depend on Y/your set of circumstances?

Thank Y/you.
seattlenat

[grin] A general rule is "there are no general rules."

Seriously, what we do is so individual that the best thing you can do is ask. After all, you ARE getting off on pleasing him [lifted eyebrow]. I have some play partners who call me Master or Sir and some who don't. In fact, before I outed myself, my scene name was Mentor which I received from a play partner who didn't want to call me Master (she wanted to save that for the potential "love of her life") but wanted a title to use. People heard her calling me that and started using it themselves.

I've also been called "you god damned sadistic bastard" and "GOD!!!!!!!!!" but, well given the circumstances under which they were spoken, I can understand.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to seattlenat)

Post #: 13

RE: To Sir, or not to Sir, that is the question - 8/14/2005 4:56:18 PM

batty24546

Posts: 43
Joined: 5/21/2005
Status: offline

One in a while I call her mistress, but in most cases i am to busy doing as she ask to have time to address her by any name.
Sometimes I call her my queen, but that was a name used long before the life style change. I am willing to call her anything that she wants, but at the moment, she isn't to conserned with names.

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 14

RE: To Sir, or not to Sir, that is the question - 8/14/2005 5:08:59 PM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

I've been confused everysince the song "to sir with love?"

Admiringly...hee, hee,,,,Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 15

RE: To Sir, or not to Sir, that is the question - 8/16/2005 3:34:43 AM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

Just ask him for a set of circumstances in which you would have to call him "Sir". Write them down to use if they're complicated.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to seattlenat)

Post #: 16

RE: To Sir, or not to Sir, that is the question - 8/16/2005 7:22:28 AM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

Hello There,
My Master requires I call Him Sir when we are in play situations publically or privately. Most of the rest of the time it's not a requirement, but often if he asks me for something or to do something I answer "yes Sir" anyway.
SIncerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to seattlenat)

Post #: 17

RE: To Sir, or not to Sir, that is the question - 8/16/2005 8:47:20 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

I've also been called "you god damned sadistic bastard" and "GOD!!!!!!!!!"

LMAO whenever I yell, "God!" Master says, "No, I'm just a man".

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 18

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