What does a Domme look for in a submissive?

What does a Domme look for in a submissive? (Full Version)

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shytg -> What does a Domme look for in a submissive? (12/1/2007 11:34:10 AM)
My apologies first of all if this has been asked ad nauseum before. I did try to search several times, and it was probably my less-than-sterling use of the search function here, but nothing came up. I'm curious... As a Domme/Domina/Mistress/insert favored term here, what is it about someone that makes you... well, take notice of them? What is it about a submissive that initially makes you curious or interested enough to, well... not just talk to them (I have to think that people out there do have polite conversations with each other), but more along the lines of begin to think about that particular sub as someone that intrigued you in a D/s sense. I realize that there is probably a different answer to this question for every person out there... but I was wondering if there was some sort of commonality. Thanks, shy

MiladyElaine -> RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? (12/1/2007 12:41:25 PM)
Nope, I don't think there is a commonality. you'll just have to read the profiles and find out who suits you best.

thetammyjo -> RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? (12/1/2007 12:58:37 PM)
I think that beyond all the labels, most of us look for a good person, a person who has enough similarities to be compatible and a touch of differences to be interesting. Each person, each household, then will have requirements, a "must have" for anyone to be interesting let alone go beyond a first meeting. Over all I think getting an education in BDSM on your own and then being able to talk honestly about what you want is a huge help. For example, learning what you consider to be the difference between bottom, sub, masochist or slave will help you then find a better match because you'll know if you are looking for a top, dom, sadist or owner. Being able to explain your definition of words or terms you use is a huge plus too because there is no "big book of terms" out there for BDSM.

shytg -> RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? (12/1/2007 1:02:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo Being able to explain your definition of words or terms you use is a huge plus too because there is no "big book of terms" out there for BDSM. I'm seeing a niche market/opportunity here.... [;)] Seriously, thank you all for responding.

ShaktiSama -> RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? (12/1/2007 4:29:59 PM)
When someone makes it very clear that he or she wants my attention, they will always get it at least briefly. I find the "please notice me" vibe very endearing, no matter how it is expressed. :) The real test is how far someone can go with that window of opportunity.

mistressaries -> RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? (12/1/2007 7:40:14 PM)
For me, at least on this and other site when I'm looking at profiles I am attracted to a nicely writen profile. Someone who is capable of explaining what they are looking for as well as what they like both in the kink world and in vanilla. It doesn't have to be extensive but it is nice to see they have a little of everything. I enjoy being able to have a good conversation about different things. Other than that I think there must be some attraction physically but a fun and interesting personality is first and formost for me. OK...that's my nickles worth MissA

MissMagnolia -> RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? (12/1/2007 7:57:43 PM)
It's easier to say what I don't look for. One of my major peeves is getting an email from a sub with a laundry list of sexual fantasies he wants to try. Quite frankly, I don't care and if that is all he thinks he has to offer, or he thinks that I should be happy, happy, joy, joy to read it, no thanks.[8\|]

Ecossaise -> RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? (12/1/2007 8:25:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia It's easier to say what I don't look for. One of my major peeves is getting an email from a sub with a laundry list of sexual fantasies he wants to try. It is comforting to know I am not the only person who gets these! I don't look for any particular qualities as such, more a willingness to learn. My own girl came to me because she was attracted by the fiction and poetry which I wrote (a small minority of which had relevance to this lifestyle), so she already knew a little about me. I am impressed when I meet a submissive who is polite and respectful, or empathic and caring, but in a subtle and natural way - I don't need someone who doesn't belong to me to grovel or fuss. [img]http://www.samurai-archives.com/dictionary/tokugawa.jpg[/img]

GoddessTeaze -> RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? (12/3/2007 9:06:25 AM)
I look for a click, and good skilled subs, who are well mannerd. I don't go round in the adds, since that doesn't seem to work. I've opend My own chatroom, and meet people. There are all sorts out there, and I screen them on being sane, and boy do I meet loads of sicko's on this server. So I screen on that, and where they are at, I don't seek a boy in Australia, since I'm in Europe. Which intrigues Me, are well mannered subs, who knows how to be an exception to a rule. There are so many out there, who think they r submissive, and a good talk, and standard procedure, will give Me enough info if s/he is worth of My time. Then ofcourse Real Life meeting will finish it , when nothing happends when Wwe meet, then nothing will ever happen. And yes I'm very picky, I only want the best. I hope you've learned something from how different Dominants work. Warm Greetings GoddezzT`

LadyPact -> RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? (12/3/2007 9:35:02 AM)
For Me, it always comes down to a person standing out from the rest, in whatever fashion applies. In other words, if you want to be noticed, then become noticable. That can take on a lot of forms. Personally, I don't want someone who is just like everyone else. I want that one person, who has that one quality, that stands over and above the others. That could be your sense of humor, or your smile, or countless other things. Perhaps, it's just that quality of being yourself, which is like no one else.

Najakcharmer -> RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? (12/3/2007 4:19:48 PM)
For me personally, I look for someone who would fit into my lifestyle and who enjoys the same things I enjoy, specifically fantasy RPG gaming, larping, Ren Faires, SCA, medieval re-enactment, etc. Intelligence is paramount, as is emotional stability, maturity, honesty and generally having his shit together. He should be generally happy and fun to be with rather than depressed, angsty, bitter, angry, bad tempered, etc. Emotional and mental health is important, as is taking responsibility for his own life choices and the consequences thereof. He doesn't need to be rich but he does need to be a responsible, self supporting adult paying his own bills and driving his own vehicle. And he needs to be sincerely interested in friendship with me as the basis for any other relationship.

MistressDoMe -> RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? (12/3/2007 5:45:07 PM)
I look for someone who actually is submissive, and not a do me.

petpete -> RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? (12/3/2007 5:52:18 PM)
i was going to suggest that Your name is looking for do me's.. [;)]

Griswold -> RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? (12/3/2007 5:54:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shytg My apologies first of all if this has been asked ad nauseum before. I did try to search several times, and it was probably my less-than-sterling use of the search function here, but nothing came up. I'm curious... As a Domme/Domina/Mistress/insert favored term here, what is it about someone that makes you... well, take notice of them? What is it about a submissive that initially makes you curious or interested enough to, well... not just talk to them (I have to think that people out there do have polite conversations with each other), but more along the lines of begin to think about that particular sub as someone that intrigued you in a D/s sense. I realize that there is probably a different answer to this question for every person out there... but I was wondering if there was some sort of commonality. Thanks, shy None of what a(n American) Domme wants means shit....allow me to 'splain.... I just got an email from a 23 year old woman....she was fiiiiine....ultra fine....(I'm 49)....she's from Romania (but she's eager to travel...she mentioned something about a "small stipend"....I don't think it'll be all that much), anyway...as I mentioned...she was fine....she told me (and I believe her) that all she wants is a "nice American man to take care of her" (who wouldn't want that?).... Now...if *THAT* isn't amazing enough....I got a VERY nice email on my Yahoo 360 account today from a 33 year old Bulgarian woman....very professional, wants a nice executive position in the US of A (which I, naturally could provide) and she said "I'd lyke a chence to be yor wif...."....okay, so she has some grammar and spelling issues....there's a language barrier....come on.... Anyway.... All you subs that think it can't happen.... I'm here to tell you it can. (I'm on my way to Valhalla).

MistressDoMe -> RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? (12/3/2007 6:03:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: petpete i was going to suggest that Your name is looking for do me's.. [;)] Tis a joke, and many actually "get it". : )

petpete -> RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? (12/3/2007 6:20:27 PM)
i have an extreme fetish for Ladies with a good sense of humor as You have!! Merry Xmas..[:)]

BlackSakura -> RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? (12/3/2007 6:22:06 PM)
For me, it’s all about compatibility. Very simple. ^_^

MistressDoMe -> RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? (12/3/2007 6:22:54 PM)
I have a wicked sense of humor, Merry Xmas to you also.[:)]

petpete -> RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? (12/3/2007 6:35:15 PM)
Now thats even spicier!! Lucky the slaves You will be owing.. Please add me as Your friend anytime.. Our community needs more of people with good sense of humor.. There are newbies who come out everyday and while in fantasy they may need to feel the full effect of BDSM in reality they need to start with a way that they need to feel more relaxed.. Let the tension exist only within the dungeons and not the forums.. Cheers and a especially to You.

MistressDolly -> RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? (12/3/2007 6:46:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shytg As a Domme/Domina/Mistress/insert favored term here, what is it about someone that makes you... well, take notice of them? What is it about a submissive that initially makes you curious or interested enough to, well... not just talk to them (I have to think that people out there do have polite conversations with each other), but more along the lines of begin to think about that particular sub as someone that intrigued you in a D/s sense. A nice disposition is a good start.

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