CrescentLuna
Posts: 89
Joined: 6/3/2006
From: Upstate NY
Status: offline
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I've been kinky with lovers, ever since my first boyfriend at fourteen told he had fantasies about being tied up and could I tie him up? Would I mind being tied up? How about if we got this or that toy? And right now I'm with someone who is gradually becoming more "into" it, finding he likes being in control in the bedroom and is more comfortable doing things that awhile ago he didn't think he would be, though they're still pretty light - hair pulling, spanking, etc.
With this relationship we've been open to a third which hadn't really gone anywhere, but might now, and may be especially advantageous (to me) a third who is more kinky.
But I've been having dreams. Wherein I'll do things like pay for a weekend with a dominatrix only to be strapped to a table, then call a safeword and leave, apologize and pay but not go through. This is like the third time in the last few weeks.
So I've been analyzing, and can easily say that some of it is anxiety towards doing more and having less control. Like it has always been that I've been introducing or in my relationship it is both trying new things together, not someone actually experienced deciding what to do, with me.
Anyone else have dreams, feelings like this? How have things ended up for you?
_____________________________
"I was her Voyager, she was my Deep Space Nine" - Ookla the Mok.
"I still have my name
I still have my face
I have not run away from home
Doesn't seem so long
If I now embrace
Every single thing I've never known" - Cruxshadows
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