|
amiciaN -> RE: withdrawl from Master (12/2/2007 8:01:44 AM)
|
Hello marandaisowned--
First, I'm not going to start yelling at you or tell you what an idiot you are for staying. You are obviously caught in an abusive relationship and you know it. You are working to get out and that's what you need to focus on-- getting out. I know it's scary; I've been there. When I left my ex-husband (who also drank), I hadn't worked outside our home for 15 years. To make things worse, I had gone to visit a friend out-of-state for a weekend without telling him I was leaving and was told I could not go home. I had 3 days worth of clothes and didn't know where I would sleep when I took the bus home. I had no money, no job and nowhere to go. It was scary, but I'm living proof that you can get out and start over. I was 44; you are much younger and, yes, that *does* make it easier to start over. It's one of those cases where your age works for you, rather than against you. There are all sorts of social services available to you and the closest women's shelter is a good place to start. There are also numerous websites that can help you make a plan for getting out, which you have started. Statistically, it's the women who make a plan *before* they get out that make the transition from being a "victim" to being a "survivor" the best. I had a plan when I got kicked out. It blew the plan all to hell, but simply having it did make a difference. It's the idea of actually making plans beyond getting through the day without being screamed at or hit that helps.
One thing that helped me tremendously was realizing that I already was a "survivor". I had survived the years of abuse before I ever left. Realizing that gave me a lot of strength. If I could make it through all that, I could make it through whatever it was I had to make it through that day. You are already a survivor too, maranda. Hang on to that when it seems the worst and you can make it.
I now belong to the most amazing Man I have ever met. I truly do feel like I'm living a fairy tale at times. My mom says she hasn't seen me this happy or healthy since I was in grade school. My friends say I look 10 years younger; and at 47, that's a *very* good thing! There is a bright future ahead for me and there can be for you too.
It takes courage to admit that you are in an abusive relationship. You can use that same courage to create a new and better life for yourself. If you want to talk more, feel free to cmail me.
|
|
|
|
