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RE: Difficult Communication - 12/4/2007 3:29:34 PM

TreasureKY

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Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
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Mind you, this may sound negative and is just one of a hundred possibilities, but it's something to think about...

It could be that it's simply not that important to him now. The idea of a D/s relationship might have been something he really needed at that time in his life... a "crutch", of sorts. Something exciting and "special" to give him incentive.

My own dominant and I have discussed something similar lately... how having something to look forward to can provide needed motivation and help avoid depression.

You don't mention if your dominant was experienced in this lifestyle, but it could be that he latched on to it because it gave him something new to look forward to and plan for. It's also possible that the idea of a D/s relationship gave him a "model" in his mind of how he would like his life to be... a "together" and in control man in a comfortable relationship with a woman who supports him and acquiesces to his desires. The vision might have simply been a fantasy day-dream to comfort him, or it might have served as a goal to give him strength. It might have been just what he needed to get past a difficult time... and now that the crisis is over, it doesn't hold the same appeal.

Just keep in mind that if this were the case, it doesn't make him bad or wrong. If the idea of D/s didn't originally appeal to his baser self, he wouldn't have been drawn to it. He may still be very interested in it... it may just not be as important to him.

In the end, you are right and communication is the only solution. I wish I had some other suggestions about how to go about it, but you've received some very good advice so far.

< Message edited by TreasureKY -- 12/4/2007 3:32:04 PM >

(in reply to onschuldige)

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RE: Difficult Communication - 12/7/2007 4:00:34 PM

onschuldige

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Joined: 11/30/2007
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Thank you to those who have added more. I have taken all your words very seriously and believe I have a good course of action to follow now.

TreasureKY, I understand what you've explained and while it does seem possible, I do hope it isn't the case here. Knowing that he may be somewhat interested under the surface isn't much of a comforting thought. From what I know and understand, a D/s relationship takes work and I doubt a mild interest would be enough to cause him to want to make the effort.

(in reply to TreasureKY)

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