quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAnthropic


I’d appreciate some feedback, particularly from other masters, if your girl were to be critical of your work; would you punish her for it? Would you break of the relationship because she disagreed with you, not in public but in private and gently, all the while saying she loved you and that everything else of his was so exceptional that this would be lowering people’s opinions of the author of the poll, people who hold him in high regard in the BDSM online community?

Is it wrong to be honest? Because my gut instinct tells me that honesty is the foundation of BDSM that without complete honesty between partners, there is little hope for that relationship to flourish.  Further, I would expect to be punished for doing something wrong, like lying to him. To me that would be as serious a crime against my Dom as cheating on him, unforgivable.

quote:

I’d appreciate some feedback, particularly from other masters, if your girl were to be critical of your work; would you punish her for it? Would you break of the relationship because she disagreed with you, not in public but in private and gently, all the while saying she loved you and that everything else of his was so exceptional that this would be lowering people’s opinions of the author of the poll, people who hold him in high regard in the BDSM online community?

quote:

Is it wrong to be honest? Because my gut instinct tells me that honesty is the foundation of BDSM that without complete honesty between partners, there is little hope for that relationship to flourish.  Further, I would expect to be punished for doing something wrong, like lying to him. To me that would be as serious a crime against my Dom as cheating on him, unforgivable.

quote:

I’m obviously very hurt and confused by all this, I’ve broken up with someone I care about a great deal, or rather he’s broken up with me, and I can only suppose that he really didn’t care, because he wouldn’t be going to this sort of trouble to fuck me over. I’m totally lost as to why anyone who says he loves me would do this to me, especially someone who knows my history.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAnthropic

BDSM Opinion Poll

I was asked what I thought of this survey and I gave my honest opinion, that it wasn’t factual or correct:

pub40.bravenet.com/vote/vote.php?usernum=3365590678&cpv=2

What’s your opinion?

I disagreed with several things in the poll, the first being that BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline, Sadism and Masochism, and Dominance and submission.

The second being that the options or parameters were far too narrow to be realistic. The choices given are simply far to few and limited, what  if you prefer to be tied up standing utilising a St Andrews Cross or tied into a set of well constructed stocks?

The third was a question that was later changed, when I pointed that spanking was done with or implied a hand and not a device, ie a whip or cane. The question was then changed by the author to the wording device or instrument.

The forth was that poly simply means many and that questionnaire should have said polygamy or polyamourous, and that the authors views appeared bigoted against both as viable personal choices by consenting adults.

I pointed out these obvious problems when asked, to be slammed for daring to disagree that this probably wasn’t the best questionnaire on BDSM or even a reasonable one, and it was likely to make the author look like a fool rather than knowledgably. I told the author of the poll that I wouldn’t like them to lose face in front of friends and acquaintances, and that I would happily assist on Monday when I didn’t have commitments with children and could give the matter my full attention.

I apologised for inadvertently hurting the feelings of the person who created the poll, despite the fact that he asked my opinion then got upset when I was slightly critical. The person stormed off and has ever since behaved appallingly, punishing me for daring to give him not only good advice but for being right.

The author of the poll and I were going to meet in the next week and get to know each other, after  considering each other for a lengthy period of time as potential partners. I had written some small journal entry saying how upset I was at this sort of treatment, and he demanded I remove it from my journal, which I did, just to keep the peace. I didn’t promise not to write something else  and dare I say better *chuckles*

I’d appreciate some feedback, particularly from other masters, if your girl were to be critical of your work; would you punish her for it? Would you break of the relationship because she disagreed with you, not in public but in private and gently, all the while saying she loved you and that everything else of his was so exceptional that this would be lowering people’s opinions of the author of the poll, people who hold him in high regard in the BDSM online community?

Is it wrong to be honest? Because my gut instinct tells me that honesty is the foundation of BDSM that without complete honesty between partners, there is little hope for that relationship to flourish.  Further, I would expect to be punished for doing something wrong, like lying to him. To me that would be as serious a crime against my Dom as cheating on him, unforgivable.


I’m obviously very hurt and confused by all this, I’ve broken up with someone I care about a great deal, or rather he’s broken up with me, and I can only suppose that he really didn’t care, because he wouldn’t be going to this sort of trouble to fuck me over. I’m totally lost as to why anyone who says he loves me would do this to me, especially someone who knows my history.

But this isn’t intended to solicit sympathy, but to get some feedback from Masters/Mistress’s and Dom/me’s as to whether I should have behaved differently.  Would you have been furious at your sub for lying to you? Is integrity more important? IMHO there is no such thing as a little white lie.

Thanks in advance for those who respond.

Cheers

jess

quote:

Sadly he is displaying particularily childish and bitchy behaviour, which I would have said was uncharateristic. He's a very nice bloke, but I suspect there's some underlying insecuritys. I would have happily helped him through them, but he simply wont talk to me, at least not in a mature and reasonable fashionable. Im actually appalled at his behaviour. It was probably best I found out now than further into the relationship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Abraxxas

I happen to know the Dominant in question here, and I assure you whats been typed here is not the full story as the saying goes: "Theres always two sides to every story" this was first posted in missanthropic's journal and as you can all see now posted here. It makes me sad to think someone has to misuse a public forum to air their dirty laundry and justify it by trying to make it look like they seek opinions on something as trivial as a poll.
What I do know for sure is the said Dom certainly wouldnt feel the need to retaliate with a reply to a very one sided "version" of the events, there is no mention here of her drunken, disrespectful emails, or lies.
The fact  is, that a simple apology given at the time (not 2 days later) things might have been different. Upon seeing a side of this girl the said Dom decided to finish things, before this budding relationship went any further.
Incidently I have seen the poll and the questions are quite good ones and have been well recieved by the community that the poll was setup for to review.
Sounds to me like sour grapes!